9 TV Characters Who Should Write Tell-All Memoirs Because Their Lives Are Too Exciting Not To
When the news broke earlier this week that Shonda Rhimes will be publishing her first book, a tell-all memoir called Year of Yes, the internet promptly exploded. After all, the woman already owns Thursday nights, can't write a protagonist we don't idenitify with, and broke our collective tear ducts with her commencement speech at Dartmouth last year. She's killing it, and I know I speak for everyone when I say I can't wait to read what she has to say about her resolution to say yes at every possible opportunity in 2014, including to Simon & Schuster's question, "Hey, will you write a book?"
Saying yes for an entire year turned out to be one of the most amazing decisions I have ever made. It was also a little insane, a lot terrifying and sometimes wildly embarrassing. So this is not a story I ever planned to share with anyone. However, once Simon & Schuster asked me, I had no choice — what else could I say but yes?
In fact, the only bad part about it is that we can't have it in our hot little hands right this very minute; it won't be published until November of this year. But, if there's one thing I learned from Rhimes, it's not to sit around waiting for something good to happen; we have to demand what we want to expect to receive it. So, for that reason, while I'm waiting around for her book to be published, I might as well make some demands about these nine fictional television characters, all of whom I'd like to follow Rhimes' lead, and put out a tell-all of their own.
Olivia Pope from Scandal
The obvious choice. Not only has she carried on an affair with the President of the United States, but she also knows the dirty secrets of approximately every single person in D.C., and beyond.
Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother
We're all stumbling around blindly trying to understand the opposite sex, while Barney from HIMYM is an untapped resource to help us do so. He's slept with everybody in Manhattan, and he also has a marriage and a divorce under his belt, so let's not underestimate his depth.
Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock
All I want is to know what's going on in that brain! Although, it's cute that I think for a second I could understand any of it.
Selina Meyer from Veep
Honestly laughing just thinking about Meyer trying to write a book she thinks her constituents would want and appreciate. I'm imagining about two lines of text per page, with words like "PIZZA" and phrases like "going to the movies" and "hanging out with my dummy friends." I would delight in that book.
Skylar White from Breaking Bad
That's enough out of you, Walter! Shut that meth mouth! Skylar, I wanna hear from you for a second.
Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish from Game of Thrones
I'm sure it will all come out eventually, but the scheming going on behind that goatee is too elaborate not to document.
Dean Pelton from Community
He's always coyly referencing something, and then saying he doesn't want to talk about it, so I say we get to the bottom of it.
Peter Florrick from The Good Wife
I'm not as forgiving as Alicia is, buddy! I need to know everything you did, and I need to know it now! Was it more hookers? Kalinda again? Voter fraud? OPEN YOUR MIND TO MEEEEEEE!
Phoebe Buffay from Friends
I don't think we've heard even the tip of the iceberg as far as the life Phoebe has lived and the things she's seen.
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