Most people expect that members of the Kardashian/Jenner dynasty drive around in $500,000 cars and spend gadabbles of dollars on American Lynx fur shoelaces or whatever else tickles their fancy. But when you really begin to take stock of all the little purchases the Kardashian family makes and how much they actually cost, you can't help but think: holy hell, do they know they can buy an ashtray at a 99 cent store and no smoker on this green Earth will ever be the wiser?
It's one thing to be Kanye West, have Kanye West money, and want to treat your wife to a couple thousand roses that some poor florist delivery service has to haul up to the penthouse of a hotel in Brazil (though I'm sure West tipped each delivery person handsomely). At the very least, West's insane gifts are romantic because they require planning and much thought. It's quite another thing to drop $260 on a pair of tongs (which were on Kim Kardashian's wedding registry when she married Kris Humprhries) when a plastic pair — or, heaven forbid, your own two fingers — are capable of picking up an ice cube and dropping it into your $1,000 glass.
But part of love-hating the Kardashian/Jenner clan is accepting them for who they are, ridiculous fab purchases and all. With that, I've compiled a list of little things the family owns that are so insanely expensive it hurts the brain to know they exist. At the same time, they make perfect sense when held or used (once at most) with love by Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie, or Kris.
1. A $3,800 Chanel Backpack
Khloe would never spend a small fortune for a backpack that actually looks like it costs money, which somehow makes her purchase 100,000 times more annoying. Her Chanel Graffiti Backpack is nowhere near as luxe as most other Chanel bags, yet this is the one she chooses to fill with what I'm guessing are a few pairs of socks, workout clothes, and lipstick.
2. Waist-Training Corsets
All of the sisters seem to own Premadonna waist-training corsets, which range in price, but average around $150. They credit them with helping them lose inches from their mid-sections, so I guess it's up for debate whether their price tag is worth the hype.
3. $260 Ice Tongs
These are the Vertigo Silver Plated Ice Tongs that Kardashian and Humphries reportedly listed on their wedding registry. They cost $260. Your typical price for a 20-pound bag of ice: less than $2. But just think about how much more delicious their cocktails are after using these... yeah, forget it, I got nothing.
4. Kourtney's $399.99 Children's Toy
Kourtney's three children have the best of everything, for sure. Here are Mason and Penelope casually hanging out on their $399.99 Power Wheels Brute Force Utility ATV Ride-On.
5. Kourtney's Giant Inflatable Swan Tube
Most pool toys cost nickels and dimes because they are, after all, cheap, inflatable pieces of vinyl that require an enormous amount of breath or a pump to do their job. But Kourtney's enormous swan will set you back $44.99. Not a great deal of money — until you remember you're about to waste it on a tube.
6. Kendall & Kylie's Cartier Love Bracelets
Cartier gold Love bracelets cost about $6,000 — give or take a few thousand depending on the bracelet's width and preferred number of diamonds. That's about $36,000 worth of jewelry around Kylie and Kendall's wrists right there, and neither girl has been contributing to the U.S. economy for longer than two years.
7. Khloe's $60 Sunblock
There's a lot of money in this one photo, but let's focus on the item you probably think shouldn't cost too much: a tube of Aesop Sage & Zinc Facial Hydrating Cream with SPF 15, which will set you back $60.
8. Kris' $150 Dinner Plates
Each one of Kris' gorgeous gold and white dinner plates, which are from L'Objet and cost at least $150 per plate — and that's assuming she didn't pay extra to ensure hers are one of a kind. Now, just look at how many plates are sitting on that table surrounded by equally exquisite glasses, silverware, napkins, and napkin jewels (each of which cost roughly $130 for a set of four, in case you're curious) — and give up doing the math because you'll be here all night. Anyway, the sum total is: A lot. A whole lot.
9. Khloe's Candle Obsession
Khloe really has a thing for candles. Along with fresh flowers (peonies and roses), they seem to be positioned in every corner of her home. Lovely, I agree, but don't think she is stocking up on candles from the mall with names like Watermelon Whimsy (I'm pretty sure I made that up, but if it does exist, no offense). One of her faves is Voluspa Grande Maison Candle in French Bourbon Vanille that costs a cool $65, which isn't so bad if you are gifted ONE candle every year for your birthday. Considering how Khloe's home resembles a mausoleum, she has one heck of a candle budget — two words that really don't belong together.
So next time you eat off of a plate, light at candle, or pour yourself a glass of ice water, just remember: you aren't doing any of these mundane things anywhere near as extravagantly as the Kardashian/Jenner family.