'Fifty Shades of Grey' First Look at Christian and Anastasia Is Worryingly Faithful

The possibly doomed Fifty Shades of Grey isn't hitting theaters until Valentine's Day 2015. But over-eager fans of the bondage novel can at last bond with Jamie Dornan's Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson's Anastasia Steele via this week's Entertainment Weekly cover, which gives us a first look at E.L. James' under-written characters brought to life. I'll give you a second to take a peek at the cover below before we get down to business. (And click here for more photos of the duo in Entertainment Weekly.)

Okay, ready to chat now? Based on EW's cover, one can assume the adaptation, directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, will be quite faithful to James' bestselling erotic novel. Exhibit A: Christian's tie, which appears to have been stolen from the book cover itself and placed in Dornan's hands. Exhibit B: Johnson's brown locks, which have been dyed from her usual blonde. Exhibit C: Johnson's Anastasia is, of course, biting her lip, and looking damn near helpless doing it. The only thing that would make it more faithful to the book you're embarrassed to be seen reading on the subway would be a thought bubble containing the words "Holy crap" over Anastasia's head.

So what does this all mean? It could simply mean EW's photo team did their homework, or it could mean Taylor-Johnson is hoping to appease true fans of the franchise, for whom faithfulness is key. But that would also mean, unfortunately for the rest of us, Fifty Shades of Grey the movie would look exactly like Fifty Shades of Grey the book. Which is to say the adaptation would look cheesy, ridiculous, and embarrassing for all women who don't need to be consistently saved and submissive. (Based on early reports about Fifty Shades ' script, things aren't looking as hot as Grey himself.)

But, of course, it could be too soon to judge. The release date shift could give the project the time it needs to find its legs. Otherwise, should the film come complete with eye roll-worthy dialogue and a Coldplay soundtrack, we simply might be too tied up on Valentine's Day 2015 to head to the theaters for Fifty Shades of Grey.

Image: Frank Ockenfels/Entertainment Weekly