She might only be four decades years old, but Angelina Jolie has seemingly packed in 40 lifetimes while the rest of us have sat around on our butts. Jolie started making waves right around the new millennium, which makes sense, because she always likes to do things with a bang. In 1999, she won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Girl, Interrupted, and in 2001 took on her well-known action hero role in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, with a sequel, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life coming out in 2003. Of course, around this time she also had a lot going on in her personal life, and it differs greatly from everything that's she has going on today.
The now Super Cool Mom, humanitarian princess, and incredible actress had her fun times, her dark times, and her weird times, and now she's giving us all hope that we, too, may age like a fine wine and that someday some past experiences will simply be anecdotes you give before making a groundbreaking speech at the UN Headquarters.
To pay homage to her wonderfully weird journey, let's take a look back and compare the Angie of the new millennium to the queen we know now.
Then: His Name Was Billy Bob
Before she discovered Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton had the weirdest, most PDA-filled relationship possible. The two were married from 2000 to 2003, when Jolie was only 25 and ol' Billy Bob was 44. They fell in love, courted, and got married all within the span of two months. They adopted a child, Maddox, from Cambodia in 2002, but the pair divorced soon after.
And, of course, there was the blood-vial legend. The two wore tiny vials of each other's blood on chains around their necks, which was Angie's idea. Thornton explained when speaking at Loyola Marymount University's School of Film & Television that, honestly, guys, it wasn't that weird:
She thought it would be interesting and romantic if we took a little razorblade and sliced our fingers, smeared a little blood on these lockets and you wear it around your neck just like you wear your son or daughter's baby hair in one. Same thing. From that we were wearing quart jars of blood around our necks. And we were vampires and we lived in a dungeon.
HA HA HA.
Now: His Name Is Brad
Brad Pitt: the number one dude you forget is totally hot until you see him in a movie and you're like, "Oh, yeah." Also, he's, like, super talented and the luckiest man alive since he's married to Jolie. They met in one of the biggest scandals of the modern age. On the set of Mr. And Mrs. Smith, Angelina Jolie hexed him, seduced him, and stole him from Jennifer Aniston. WRONG. Things happen. Get over it. Jennifer Aniston has. The two have been inseparable ever since, and got married in 2014 after nearly a decade of being totally in love with each other.
Then: Brotherly Love
All right, I'm just gonna address then once and then leave it be. Jolie and her brother had that weird moment on the red carpet where he was very, very, very happy for her while she was dressed like Morticia Adams. She had just won her Academy Award, and the two kissed on the red carpet at the Oscars. A family friend said that they were just emotional because they left the hospital where their mother was receiving her first cancer treatment to go to the awards ceremony.
Now: Not A Regular Mom, A Cool Mom
Jolie loves kids, and she and Pitt have a huge clan of six children. I petition for a family band situation. Their wedding was really more a party for the babies — she even wore a dress decorated in their doodles. She's the coolest mom on the block and probably has the best snacks.
Then: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
The most amazing, accurate translation of a video-game character to a real-life human ever.
Now: Angelina Jolie-Pitt: Humanitarian Extraordinaire
Jolie's life really changed when she turned 26 and became a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations. Since then, she has done so much to better the world, while being a wife, mother to six kids, prolific actress, and director. She should make her own version of I Don't Know How She Does It, but she probably doesn't have time for that. She has been tireless in her efforts to help refugees around the world, especially in Cambodia, where she traveled back when she was filming Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. This was the trip that inspired her to become a humanitarian.
Then: Role Model
Jolie has always been a maverick. Before she married Thornton, she was in a relationship with Jenny Shimizu. She has for a long time been open about identifying as a bisexual woman, and told Barbara Walters in a 2003 interview,
"If I fell in love with a woman tomorrow, would I feel that it's OK to want to kiss and touch her? If I fell in love with her? Absolutely! Yes!" YAAAS.
Now: Still A Role Model
In 2013, Jolie had a double mastectomy as a preemptive procedure after she learned she was at a very high risk of developing breast cancer (her mother passed from the disease). And in 2014, she decided to remove her ovaries and fallopian tubes, also as a preventative measure. She wrote two bold, brave, and empathetic op-eds about her experience for the New York Times, providing support and resources for women who are struggling with similar health issues. "On personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity," she wrote. Shine on, you crazy diamond!
Images: Getty Images