No matter our level of sexual experience, most of us have at least one sexual memory that sticks out above the rest in our minds, one that we remember as our absolute favorite. It doesn’t necessarily mean it was the
best sex we've ever had — but rather, that there was something about the whole encounter that made it special. Our society puts a lot of emphasis on being perfect, especially when it comes to sex — but as you'll see below, our fondest sexual memories aren't usually about an encounter that was technically perfect. Rather, we cling to the memories of sex that was especially loving, fun, memorable or exciting in the moment (no matter what may have happened later on in the story).
There are some messages out there that claim that when we find a partner, we need to forget all our past sexual memories, and pretend that any adventures that we had before we met them didn't happen. But that's not true — our sexual memories are ours forever, and just because they may not feature our partner, it doesn't mean that we love our partner any less. We should celebrate our sexual memories because they're part of the whole of our sexuality — which includes who we were in the past, as well as who we'll be in the future.
In honor of this, Bustle asked 10 readers to share their favorite sexual memories. Because admit it — you've probably got one, too.
1. Amelia, 33
"Probably banging the producer of a TV segment I was doing, in the green room, five minutes (I am not exaggerating) before I went live on camera. It was hot and naughty and makes for a great story — and I am quite fond of great stories."
2. D'Andre, 25
"My fondest sexual memory is of being 'eaten out' for the first time.
I was 17 and in my final year of high school. I could only describe myself as someone who was preparing to enjoy a very successful academic career of majoring in virginity. Prom season had befallen the school, and I was beside myself; I was without a date (male or female-identified), or any real sexual prospects.
A confident, athletic classmate swaggered up to me in the hall and asked me to go to prom with her. We hadn't talked much prior to that moment, but I always noticed her in the halls and on the soccer pitch.
We traded numbers, and I eventually worked up the gall to ask her why she'd chosen me. She exhaled deeply, and explained that she was gay, as she assumed that I was. It was a safety decision; a pragmatic transaction.
We had a great time at the dance, and even agreed to attend an after-party at a hotel together. Things were more or less a blur, but we ended up sexually engaging with each other. She proposed to 'peg me.' I obliged... but not before being treated to a toe-curling, 'sunshine in your tummy'-feeling, sheet-grabbing rim job... that has never been topped ever since. I bottomed for a woman, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
I think that, as a male-identified person, there's an immense stigma associated with being anally stimulated and pleasured. Insertion isn't a binary activity... so I encourage all of my friends to 'explore.'"
3. Mieko, 36
"I ended up sleeping with this guy who was dating my friend. He was pestering her about me and my friend, who wanted to be cool at the time, consented. We were young.
So he came over under the pretense of giving me a massage, which he did. But the massage turned more sexual when he had asked me to take off my shirt, then my pants, as he needed to get to all of my body to massage. It was amazing! He was quite skilled in eating me out and his dick was huge."
4. Colleen, 30
"I would have to say my fondest memory was when my husband and I were first dating, and we were just hanging out at his place one Saturday morning. I was in the bathroom trying to get the rest of last night's eyeliner off (you know the struggle), and he came up behind me, bent me over the sink and BAM! It was super spontaneous and really f*cking hot... because mirrors."
5. Sarah, 26
"My fondest sexual memory involves no actual sex! My date and I were waiting on a taxi in San Antonio. Being too impatient to wait until we got to the hotel, I jumped him and pushed him into the bushes; frantic making out ensued. Then, unfortunately, the taxi arrived. I do love being the aggressor. Next time, I'll remember that another taxi can always be called."
6. Becky, 29
"The first summer I was dating the guy I am now married to, we were drinking with some of my coworkers at a house party. We then tipsily rode our bikes home. He was much more familiar with the local bike trails than I was, and kept pulling off to the side in parks saying, 'Come over here, I want to show you something.' Each time we stopped, we would start making out and he would steal one item of my clothing, stuff it somewhere inside his jacket, then jump back on his bike and race off, making me chase him.
By the last stop, my shorts, underwear, and shirt had all been stolen, and we wound up having sex at the top of a playground slide. I was pretty much just wearing a long jacket and nothing else for the last little bit of the ride home. The main thought in my head was that I hoped we didn't get stopped by anyone on the way home because, WOW, that would have been awkward."
7. Holly, 29
"I know it's cheesy, but having sex in the ocean for the first time is my fondest sexual memory. You have a certain weightlessness about you and combined with the sensation of the water around you, everything feels heightened. The second time [in the ocean] was less fun, because it was at night and my boyfriend had recently watched Jaws, so you know how that goes."
8. Ruby, 28
"My best sexual encounter happened with a guy I met at a bar. I've always been pretty open about sex, and we started talking about what we were into. It became very clear very quickly that we had similar interests and he invited me to go home with him — an invite I happily accepted. Back at his place, he tied me up, used toys, f*cked me on the kitchen floor, f*cked me while we watched a video of him f*cking his ex, and played with exhibitionism on a camming site. It was so, so, so hot."
9. Jen, 30
“Losing my virginity. It’s not that it was good (because it wasn’t), but because I remember thinking that I could never love someone that much again. I was 17, so of course I would and did. But it’s just something that still gives me goosebumps when I think about it. Everything was so new and exciting, and you don’t get to experience that twice.”
10. Dora, 32
"About a week before I started dating my partner, I had a drunken one-night stand that was, like, the platonic ideal of a drunken one-night stand. There was no awkwardness, the sex was fun, the guy was cute, and his penis looked amazing — like it should have been chiseled out of marble or something. I'm sure part of the reason I remember it so fondly is that it was my last one-night stand. But as someone who had many sad one-night stands in my single life, this was the only one that ever fully felt the way I thought they were supposed to be — light, fun, with no shame or sadness that this guy didn't think I was girlfriend material. I'm glad I got to experience that at least once before I put a ring on it."