BREAKING NEWS, EVERYONE: Apparently, that other dude from Two and a Half Men that no one talks about is a magician. I know, I know — why didn't he make Charlie Sheen disappear from life? That's definitely a question we need answered at some point, but for now, we'll have to settle for this anecdote instead: According to Naughty But Nice Rob, Jon Cryer revealed that his hair is fake, calling it an "elaborate illusion," a.k.a., magic.

"This is the work of several talented professionals making the most of like, four hairs," Cryer explained on Conan. Who wants to bet that he pulled all his hair out when Charlie Sheen called him a "troll" in the press? That's probably definitely what happened.

"It’s amazing, actually, what they can do. I’m not wearing a piece — or anything like that — but it’s a long involved process that starts with stuff like shoe polish...They basically just paint — they get a roller type thing — and just whoosh along the top," he continued. "You have to decide if you’re going to go full [John] Travolta and get the full front in. And then they literally sprinkle powder in from a salt shaker. So this is, like I said, four or five hairs."

ILLUSION. I don't know about you, but I was definitely, completely, totally fooled. In fact, I still believe that Jon Cryer has a head full of hair. Don't try and show me your pictures of him looking bald on the street, they're fake, fake I tell you!

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Take note, Chris Angel, this is what a real magician looks like.

You can check out a clip of Cryer's appearance below.