As every good Marvel fan knows, Loki is pretty much one of the most theatrical villains in the world. I mean, look how he dresses. The Norse god attended an opera just to carry a man across a room, flip him onto a table, and rip his eye out while everyone around them ran. He's not a subtle creature. You know what else isn't subtle? The Internet's love for Tom Hiddleston, in all his charming glory. Loki might be the king of psychotic smirks, but the man behind the crazy, Hiddleston, is the king of childlike laughter and youthful merriment. But what would Loki think of Hiddleston? Let's be real: the answer is probably nothing good.
In The Avengers, Loki stood tall above the humans he was forcing to kneel and declared, "There are no men like me." And, in a way, he's not wrong. Loki and Hiddleston are nothing alike despite the fact that they share a face. To be honest, it's quite likely that Loki would have no opinion on the actor at all — unless he was paying attention to him long enough to wipe him off the face of the planet along with the rest of humanity. However, if Loki took a moment to really get to know Hiddleston, then there's a chance he might be able to form a less murderous opinion. Maybe.
Here are seven things Loki would probably think about Hiddleston.
1. "Why does he laugh so much?"
Seriously, that Hiddleston, always with the giggles. Loki sure doesn't giggle like that. OK, so he kind of does, but only when something really funny is happening, like the entire destruction of a planet, for instance. I'm sure if they ever hung out, Loki would be bewildered by how jovial Hiddleston is.
2. "What is this charity thing he's always doing?"
I don't think that Loki would understand that Hiddleston actually does a wide variety of charity-related things with his time, when he isn't filming or doing interviews or having fun on the red carpet. Seriously, what's with this charity thing? What have other people ever done for Loki besides refuse to recognize his superiority?
3. "Would it kill him to dress a little better?"
For some reason, Hiddleston doesn't have a single horned helmet in his entire closet. Loki would have to take it upon himself to fix that, because it is clearly a travesty.
4. "If one more person confuses me for him..."
Seriously, there are NO MEN LIKE LOKI. Did you guys not get that memo? Did you guys not watch that movie? Who would look at Loki and think that was Hiddles? Worse, who would do that and expect to live much longer after that? The rudeness.
5. "If one more person confuses him for me..."
See above. Although, to be fair, Loki thinks Hiddleston should consider it an honor to be mistaken for the true ruler of Asgard. He should have it printed on business cards or something. Who wants to be Tom Hiddleston when they can be Loki? That's right. Nobody.
6. "What is Tumblr?"
As soon as Loki hears that Hiddleston is a Tumblr prince, he's going to be really upset that this guy is already royalty when he himself has been cast out of his home of Asgard. And then brought back there only to be imprisoned. Seriously, what is this land of Tumblr and how does Hiddleston rule it so completely? Which leads to his final thought...
7. "What's a Benedict Cumberbatch?"
By this point, Loki and Hiddleston will probably be friends enough that Loki will offer to dispatch this Benedict Cumberbatch, who is the true and actual prince of Tumblr. If Hiddleston is going to walk around with Loki's face, then domination is just a plus. On second thought, I'm kind of thinking Hiddleston wouldn't want to spend this much time with Loki after all...
Image: loki-gifs/Tumblr (7)