Twitter is incredible. Since the sad passing of Google Reader (::prayer hands Emoji::), it's really stepped up as an amazing platform for aggregating news. While that is very helpful (as are Twitter's networking possibilities, even in the professional realm), Twitter is also a helpful tool at popping the doldrums of daily life—if you follow the right people. Lucky for you, I compiled a list of some of the funniest Twitter accounts you should follow. Because I care about you and want you to be happy.
Of course there are heaps of high caliber, high-profile comedians busting out jokes like freaking confetti at an overzealous New Year's party, but I never saw the point in following The Onion or Aziz Ansari on Twitter. Not because they're not funny enough—they're almost universally hilarious. But because surely I'll see a retweet of the best stuff at some point by one of the more #basic or #courtesy folks I follow (we all have them...and if you think you don't, you're someone else's #basic or #courtesy follow). Instead, this list holds a heap of hilarious Twitter accounts you should follow immediately you may otherwise never see. These aren't like Regular Funny Accounts, they're Cool Funny Accounts. Or at least accounts I find uproarious. In review:
A time-saving solution to those oh-so attractive linkbait headlines. Seriously—you're a busy person. SAVE TIME.
A hilarious, silver-tongued writer and champion of ladies everywhere. Alana wits and #realtalks like it's her job. (And it might be. I'm less clear about those specifics).
Solid advice ranging from swagger tips to snack suggestions. Speaking of the latter, Aude also sends a really excellent daily tinyletter you should also subscribe to.
This important evidence that I am not insane or if I am insane, I'm far from the only one. This account catalogues noticing faces in places.
Daniel is a young Catholic dad in North Florida tweeting funny stuff about Catholicism, fatherhood, the south, and his boring office job. It is always quite good (often with turtle photos).
A whip-smart writer who ~gets~ the importance of cardio, among life's other non-negotiables (also including weddings AKA the subject of this dope book she put out on Penguin).
I am not even 100% sure this account is run by a real person but I am 100% sure if you follow even 10 accounts, this should be one of them. Robesman drops truth bomb after truth bomb about the Internet and Internet culture and it's so eloquent and disarmingly honest you might feel like you're being followed. I never thought I'd find a person online more than me but then I found Robesman and am so happy I did.
Atlanta-based designer Sarah has a caffeine dependency and rap music appreciation I can really vibe on. Plus she posts really impressive DIY projects with easy how-tos—which maybe isn't funny, but is still helpful anyway.
Alan Hanson is a very good writer who gets real on dating which is a thing I appreciate and want to read/hear all the time.
The brainy music editor of The Rookie has THOUGHTS (and they are equally brainy and uproarious). She also mentions Leo...a lot, not that that is a hugely negative thing (it is not).
A Brooklyn-based writer for Fallon Tonight who tweets the thoughts we're all thinking.
I'm still unsure about details here, but I am sure this is a stand-up account.
Lane Moore is an incredible human who nails comedy, relationship advice, music, and—clearly as she is on this list—Twitter.
Full disclosure I am ~Internet friends~ with this person but I really cannot offer more information past that (since I don't know it) and the fact that Angela is True Hilarity.
This Austin lady dabbles in taxidermy and absolutely massacres at calling herself out.
A Connecticut grad student with great style, among other excellent observations.
Woman behind Wine All The Time and this wine-heavy (obvs), goofy account.
Calling typos as he sees 'em plus many lit jokes.
A Simpsons fan and truth-spouter.
What started as a good spot to check your privilege evolved or devolved (depending on your own POV) turned into just a nonstop stream of relatable tweets.