Love may seem like more of a female pursuit, but the truth of the matter is, what men want is somebody to love just as much as women do. While this may only come up when he’s incredibly drunk or after a regrettable argument, guys do want the kind of relationship he watches in those romantic comedies that you’re so fond of — we just don’t show it ourselves because we’re too proud or something. A lot of my friends are getting married or have recently gotten married in the past few years and let me tell you, while I haven’t seen these guys cry in years, tears were definitely present on their wedding day, when the love of their lives strolled down the aisle first as a fiancé, then as a wife.
These guys were fortunate enough to find the qualities they sought in a partner, and I’ll admit I really like the ladies they’ve promised themselves to. So I hope this gushy introduction helped me make my point that men do want to find love, some of us just may not be as up front about it as others. The following qualities are those of which a grown-ass man looks for in a woman.
1. That She Can Hang
While it may not sound romantic, men absolutely adore a woman who’s down to Earth. There’s nothing a guy likes to see more than a potential girlfriend hold her own in a conversation with his buddies. It shows that she’s making an effort to get closer to us (by associating with our peers), and that we don’t have the dreaded ultimatum of choosing between our girlfriend and our friends. With a “chick who can hang” we’ve hit the jackpot, we can have both!
2. She's A Woman He Can Bring Home To Mom
In the same intimidating way a prospective partner meets your dad, he wants you to meet his mom — who can be just as, if not more, protective. You must try to impress mom like we do with your dad, because mom wants what’s best for her son, and she can be mighty aggressive in getting that point across. If you and his mom don’t get along, it may not be a deal-breaker, but it will definitely affect the relationship – especially at those dreaded family events where you sit angrily with your arms crossed at the dinner table.
3. She's Independent
A guy loves a woman who’s independent because it means she’s not clingy. Girls’ night is encouraged in a grown-ass relationship, because a man can (and should) still have a relationship with his boys outside of the relationship with his partner. Likewise, you should have a relationship with your girlfriends. These evenings are also a great way to prove you trust the each other, which is another point that will be addressed later in the article.
4. She's Ambitious
For a grown-ass man, gender roles no longer exist. This means you’re just as ambitious as he is. He doesn’t want to date a professional student with heaps of debt, nor is he keen on your job as a part-time cashier at the local grocery store. If these roles were reversed, you wouldn’t be OK with this either – and you shouldn’t. In a grown-ass relationship, you both want more for yourselves as a couple; you want to improve on each other, and that’s a good sign you’ve found the right person.
5. There's Mutual Attraction
I’d be lying if I said men aren’t at least somewhat superficial, because truth of the matter is that everybody can be – to an extent. Nobody could possibly date someone who they’re visibly repulsed by, so let’s all get off of our high horses with regard to superficiality, shall we? The point I’m trying to make here is that a grown-ass man wants to know that the love he has for his partner is genuinely reciprocated. We want a woman who loves us for who we are (not who we can be, not what we own, or who we know), we just want assurance that you love us as much as we love you, as cheesy as that sounds.
6. She Has Respect For Others
It’s probably not the best idea to trash talk your exes early on in a relationship, because the truth of the matter is: everybody can be an ex. He could very well be the next guy you’re trash-talking on a future date. This respect goes beyond people you had a relationship with as well. Everybody you interact with – a waitress, your mother, a coworker – reveal the true you. A grown-ass man wants to know he’s dating a grown-ass woman, not a girl. And by acting like you’re still in high school, treating others as if they’re lesser than, is no way to be regarded as the former.
7. She's His Best Friend
Men’s idea of a relationship isn’t complicated. We want a best friend who we also want to have a lot of sex with. That about sums it up.
8. He Can Trust Her
You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again – because it’s the truth: trust is the most important quality in a relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, none of the other qualities in this article would exist or even have the chance to. Whether you have an attractive co-worker, or were a tad more charming to the waiter than usual, he won't bring these things up if he genuinely trusts you. He knows you love him, and that nobody else could change those feelings.
Images: Franca Gimenez/Flickr; GIFs/Giphy