We all have that one pair of shoes hidden in the back of our closet that are completely outdated. And, I’m sure it doesn’t come to much surprise that we most likely also have outdated shirts and jackets and purses. But outdated dating rules? Yup, those exist too. It’s the pack-rat in all of us that makes us want to hold on to things. Old boxes under your bed with outdated CDs and movies. We keep love letters from our past romances. And, don’t get me started on pictures that we can’t bear to throw away. All of these outdated, or shall I say, "old" objects in our lives are pretty normal to have.
The same does not apply to outdated dating rules. Somewhere in time, people started saying certain rules applied to dating. And then somehow these “rules” were repeated over and over again and people started believing them to be the truth. Just because they are repeated doesn’t make them worth while. It’s time to bring an end to these saying once and for all. Here’s to keeping an open mind when it comes to the dating world and not putting everyone into a simple little box. We are complex boxes full of different colors, shapes and sizes.
1. “Don’t have sex on the first date.”
Tell this one to the many hundreds of thousands of people who are currently in happy relationships after a one-night stand. Let’s throw this outdated rule out, along with those shoes from three summers ago. If two people want to have sex and it’s safe and consensual, then by all means they should get it on.
2. "Let the man do the initiating.”
I’d be rich by now if I got paid every time I overheard someone say, “Guys love the chase.” What if I don’t want to be chased? Or I want to initiate? Asking another person out shouldn’t depend on your gender. If you want to kiss your date first, go ahead and kiss away.
3. “The man should pay.”
Everyone has his or her own idea on who should pay for the date. That’s fine. What is not fine is saying it “has to” be one certain way. If the woman wants to pull out her wallet on a date, more power to her.
4. “Never go to sleep angry.”
I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing worse than trying to resolve an argument when you’re tired and sleepy. The reasoning behind not going to sleep angry with your partner doesn’t really make sense to me. Sleep helps everything! Sometimes if you sleep on a situation, you wake up with a new perspective. How is this a bad thing? Although, I am biased. I do love my sleep.
6. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
I get this saying and I can understand where it’s coming from. However, too much distance can also make the heart grow sadder. Sometimes, distance from your partner can make you stop and realize how much you truly love him or her. But, you shouldn’t need distance to remind you of this all the time.
7. “Love is all you need.”
Love isn’t all you need. You also need respect, thoughtfulness, kindness, and honesty, to name a few. Love is important, but to suggest that it is “all you need’ is preposterous. People hold on to toxic relationships because of “love.” But, it’s crucial to know that there’s more to a healthy and happy relationship than the feeling of love.
8. “You shouldn’t show your gross/dirty/not put-together side.”
I feel bad for the people that have to hold in their farts in front of their significant others. What a hard life to lead. Being with a partner means being vulnerable, and what’s more vulnerable than a fart or a smelly poop? You should show all parts of you — the good, the bad and the really, really smelly.
9. “Act cool/act like you don’t care.”
Somewhere along the way, people started thinking not communicating or expressing your emotions was the best approach to dating. So, the girl who wants to define her relationship with the person she’s seeing, thinks remaining silent on the subject is the way to go. Some people think that acting “cool” and “unemotional” will attract his or her partner. Unfortunately, all that happens is you lose in this situation. Any time you don’t stand up for what you want or speak your mind, you run the risk of being not “cool.”
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