On June 13th, hundreds of New Yorkers packed out Brooklyn's Kings County Saloon to celebrate the little things at the 3rd Annual Smallest Penis Pageant. The festival was inspired by a man with a small penis, who showed his founder and partner at the saloon Aimee Arciuolo "an amazing time" one night. According to Time Out New York, she joked that someone should throw him a pageant. Well, they decided to do it in earnest: Not just to celebrate his prowess, but to show some love to tiny dicks from all over.
Not just about aesthetics, the contest features formal wear, swimwear, talent, and interview portions before celebrity judges decide upon the winner. This year's pageant was space-themed, and eight contestants from around the world competed to take home the crown. Last year's runner-up, Rip Van Dinkle, was back for another shot at the title. (Oh, yeah: The contestants are allowed to use pseudonyms and cover their faces, if it will make them more comfortable participating.) According to Jezebel, many contestants also chose to drink heavily to make their participation a little more comfortable.
The event always sells out and draws a huge crowd of people who cheer for and celebrate those who enter (and their tiny penises), and has started attracting corporate sponsorship too —well, a sponsorship from ShipADick.com. So it looks like this celebration of small man parts is getting bigger.
It's encouraging to see more and more bodies included in body positive movements to be celebrated just the way they are — yes, penises included! When it comes to sexual harassment and catcalling, my motto has always been, "I don't care about your boner," but I guess I do actually care about some (just not in relation to myself).
As a sex educator, I've seen and heard pretty much everything when it comes to penises and penis size — both in my work in a sex shop and educating clients one-on-one. As a cisgender, heterosexual woman, I have also heard my fair share of jokes and disparaging comments about penis size. People with vaginas definitely face shame and stigma around their genitals, but there's a special kind of universal disdain that borders on hatred for those with small dicks.
It's somehow assumed that all sexual pleasure comes from the insertion of a penis into a vagina — so the only way to experience real pleasure is for a penis to be huge. But while penetrative sex with a penis or phallic object can feel really good and bring some people to orgasm by stimulating their prostate or vagina, vaginal orgasms are rare. And there a lot of times sex isn't actually about penetration. Sexual partners who are both lacking penises, as well as those who do have them, still have sex all the time and no one involved in those situations seems upset about it at all!
We need to move on from the paradigm that penetrative sex is the only sex worth having — and that having sexual prowess based on your genital size is the only way to be "a man."
Defining masculinity by how much sex you're having and by the size of your sexual organs contributes to toxic masculinity and is also really transphobic. I don't want my worth to be defined by any parts of my body, never mind just a single one. No one should be made to feel bad about the body they were born with.
All penises that people want and choose to have are good penises, period. So let's celebrate all the ways there are to have bodies and all the things they can do — no exceptions.
Images: Getty; Kings County Saloon; Giphy