If Dates Were Rejected Like Job Applications, The Rejection Emails Might Look Something Like This
With college graduations just behind us, many of us are currently on the job hunt, which means hiring managers are busier than every churning out those dreaded rejection emails. If you've received these emails (and who hasn't?), it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong; it just means you're applying to jobs — because that match made in heaven between employer and employee is elusive.
It's also possible, with spring fever hitting its peak and vacations underway, that romantic rejections are on the horizon for many of us. Again, who hasn't faced them? Unfortunately, these often sting more than job rejections, even when we know they're not our fault. But do they have to? What if the bearers of this bad news couched it in the professional emails and corporate language of recruiters?
To experience how it might feel to be rejected by dates the same way we're rejected by companies, I dug up some of my own rejection letters, researched other common templates, and replaced some key words with romance-specific language. Based on the hypothetical emails below, I think we'd be doing our unwelcome suitors a favor by rejecting them in a more corporate manner — because they'd probably be too busy laughing at us to care.
1. Thank you for getting in touch. Please rest assured that I consider all propositions from all potential suitors and will be in touch shortly if there is a fit.
2. Because I attract many suitors, I cannot always respond to every individual proposition. I apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience.
3. I am not currently dating, but if you'd like to check back in the future, you can view my openings here.
4. Though I enjoyed hearing about your experiences and your passion for me, I've determined that another suitor would be the best fit for my life at this time.
5. This was a tough decision, but I recently filled the Significant Other position with one of my other suitors.
6. You were a strong candidate, but I had a few suitors who were already friends with me, so their propositions were just that much more spot-on.
7. I am currently in the final rounds of the casual dating process with several suitors who have more relevant dating experience.
8. IMPORTANT INFORMATION REGARDING YOUR REQUEST TO DATE ME: I've officially made a selection for my Significant Other position, but I'll be sure to keep your information on file in case we break up!
9. I was overwhelmed with an incredibly talented pool of suitors, and the decision was not an easy one. I wish you the best of luck finding dates in the future.
If you're up for an experiment, try copying and pasting these messages into your OKCupid inbox. And please know that if you've received them in your email inbox, you're not alone. Images: Fotolia; MOVIECLIPS/YouTube; Giphy (8)