9 Times You Wish Channing Tatum Was There

Do you know what I’ve been doing all day? Watching the short clip of Channing Tatum dancing on a float at the L.A. Pride Parade to Ginuwine’s “Pony” over and over and over again. Why? First of all: WHY NOT? Second of all, because there are so many things that I love about it: 1.) that he showed up at all, 2.) that he dances during the whole thing, and 3.) that he seems more committed to his moves than anyone else on that float. Also his rainbow scarf. Dear Channing Tatum, please wear that rainbow scarf for the rest of your life.

But most of all, I’ve been watching that short video and picturing myself there, my afternoon parade watching pleasantly interrupted by Channing Tatum randomly getting down to a song that makes me squirm in my seat. Because that would be absolutely amazing, am I right? You’re halfway to hammered in the hot California sun and, all of a sudden, like some sort of celestial gift, there he is: Channing Tatum going all Magic Mike right in front of you. It made me think: what are some other times in my life where it would have been lovely to have Channing Tatum make an appearance? Aside from the obvious EVERY TIME.

It turns out there a lot. My life would be WAY better with random Channing appearances, wouldn’t yours? I mean, picture yourself in the below moments, and think of how they would be, or have been made WORLDS better, by Channing Tatum making his way into your life.

1. At the gym

No lie, here’s a little workout secret of mine: when doing lunges, and it starts to hurt so bad I want to cry, I look down at the ground and picture Channing Tatum doing crunches in front of me, throwing me the occasional wink when it gets really bad. NOW IMAGINE IF HE WERE REALLY THERE.

2. Every time I have moved

I’m pretty sure Channing Tatum wouldn’t let me lift anything other than a cold glass of water, and only to his perspiring lips.

3. At my best friend’s wedding


Having the hottest dance floor date would definitely ease the sting of having to wear a puke green bridesmaid dress that, with my coloring, made me look half dead. Nobody looks good in that color, but they look a whole hell of a lot better with Channing Tatum on their arm.

4. When my prom date had detention and didn’t show up for pictures


Definitely could have used Channing then, both to make me look cool as hell, and to have someone to pose with other than my mother.

5. My bachelorette party

This goes without saying, no?

6. My wedding

This might be tempting fate a bit, but, knowing me, I’ll probably break out in hives and have a full-on panic attack on my wedding day. Think of how much pressure it would relieve if Channing showed up mid-morning to loosen up the room?

7. After a break up

But how much easier would THAT have been if Channing had been there to pick me up off the floor, put a Friends marathon on Netflix, sit beside me in bed, and hand me a clean tissue every few minutes.

8. When I’m late for work

He’d be the perennial excuse. “Sorry, boss. Channing Tatum,” I’d say, pointing to him getting down in his rainbow scarf. My boss would stare, slack-jawed for a minute, and then nod her head knowingly.

9. Losing my virginity


Watch the master at work in the video below.

Image: Getty Images: (3); Giphy (7); Instagram