7 Signs Tom Hiddleston Is Trying To Take Over The World More Subtly Than Loki
Listen, I know that Tom Hiddleston is almost nothing like his Avengers character Loki. And that's a good thing, since, as Bruce Banner put it, you can "smell the crazy" on Loki. However, I still think we all should watch out, because I'm pretty sure that Tom Hiddleston is trying to take over the world. Oh, he would never be as blatant about it as Loki, who ran around Europe ripping out people's eyes and telling crowds to kneel and enjoy their subservience. Hiddleston's methods are a lot more subtle, which is why none of us even noticed what he was doing until now. Now that we're aware of his intentions, it should be pretty easy to stop him... or help him. Whichever one you prefer.
I mean, if I have to be honest, a world ruled by Hiddleston wouldn't be a particularly bad one. He doesn't seem so much interested in war or poverty or dictatorship as he does charity work, red carpet antics, and loving animals, children, and his fans. If he does turn out to be an evil overlord, he'd be the nicest evil overlord the world has ever had. That becomes even more clear when you look at the insidious methods through which Hiddleston has already begun his world domination.
Seriously, these seven signs are so innocent you almost missed them, which is exactly how his plan to take over the world has gotten as far as it has. Pay attention, Hiddlestoners.
1. He Has A Loyal Pack Of Minions
Remember when I told you to pay attention, Hiddlestoners? We are his loyal minions, so loyal that we have a name for ourselves. He didn't even have to name us! We did it for him! That's how loyal we are! If Hiddleston said, "I'm founding my own country of Hiddlestoners, who wants to come," who among you wouldn't pack up and leave your homes? Yeah, that's what I thought.
2. He Has A 100 Percent Approval Rating
Have you ever met someone who hates Hiddleston? Sure, there are some people out there who are weird enough to pretend that they don't care about him one way or another, but how many people do you come across who outright hate him? That's right, nobody. He has a squeaky-clean reputation of awesomeness, which is why he has so many minions. Red alert, guys, red alert.
3. He Travels All Over The World
Setting up secret bases where he can plot his domination in peace. You know, the usual.
4. He Has Powerful Friends
Not only do we have to worry about Hiddleston's plans, he's in the perfect position to get them done because he knows so many other famous people. The movers and shakers of the Hollywood world are as charmed by him as we are. Even worse, he doesn't even need that many of them. He and Benedict Cumberbatch alone could take over the world with the force of their cheekbones.
5. He's In Your Room
Look around you. Do you have Hiddleston or Loki merchandise anywhere? If you answered yes, but still aren't alarmed, let's take a moment to remember the plot of Kingsmen, in which the villain got to everyone using free merchandise he'd given out to the world. It's effective.
6. His Face Would Look Great On Money
That's just a fact. Not necessarily important for world domination, but still a big plus.
7. He Knows What Not To Do
He has played Loki in three movies now (four, if you count his deleted scenes from Age of Ultron). He knows what not to do if you want to successfully take over the earth. Between everything he has going for him, and all of the mistakes he knows to avoid, it's a wonder the world doesn't already have Hiddleston's name written on it.
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