The Pokemon Porn Parody You Never Asked For Is Here, And It Is Guaranteed To Wreck Your Childhood (NSFW) — VIDEO

Y'know, I truly believe sexual whatever is chill as long as it's consensual and doesn't embrace hate. Role playing improves sexual satisfaction, so I mean—go for it! Live your best sex life just so long as everyone is safe and into it. I'm not allowed to really rip on anything that falls into those categories, I guess. But...really, Internet? Now there's a Pokémon themed porn. OK!

I can't say I'm very well acquainted with Pokémon or porn. In middle school, as a novice attempt to get into flirting, I remember gleefully accepting low-level Pokémon cards from cute boys on the school bus (this is not an effective flirting method, as it turns out). And my experience with porn? Just about identical in entry-level nature. As in, I usually just turn it off as soon as I figure out what's happening. No shade on porn, AT ALL—just not my bag. Anyway, the advent of Strokémon proves that, yes! There is really something out there for everyone. And also, there is really something to get everyone off. For some people, it seems, that involves a central character ceremoniously dubbed Dickachu, which only sounds like Pikachu if you're saying it incorrectly (even as a non-fan, I know that part is pushing it).

Let's review some of the central characters to...this:

Squirtle

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Those look like things I don't want near any of my orifices. Does that make me a prude? I do not care.

Gash

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Word. My new invite to my S.O. for sex times. And of course the star...

Dickachu

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So there is that! And here is the official Strokémon trailer:

Wood Rocket on YouTube

Bye.

Images: YouTube(4)