15 Funny Baby Cards To Give To New Parents Who Are Going To Need A Few Laughs

First off, congrats to your sibling/friend/relative/whoever on their new baby! You might not be ready to have a baby of your own, but you can definitely celebrate the new parents in your life with some funny baby cards. Lord knows that with all of the crying and pooping and sleepless nights coming their way, they could use a good laugh. Plus, baby congratulations cards can be a bit standard and boring — blue for boys, pink for girls, and all that bundle of joy stuff. Making and birthing a baby may be no joke, but your card should include one! Here are 15 of my favorites.

Image: etsy.com

Baby Name

I mean, Emily is a super good name, in my opinion. 

Funny New Baby Card, $4, etsy.com

No Pink Or Blue Cards, Please

Pink and blue cards are so boring — bananas are much more interesting! 

Funny New Baby Card, $4.04, etsy.com

Sober Up

That first glass of wine after baby is going to taste so good. 

Funny New Baby Card, $4, etsy.com

Baby's First Cuss Word

What are friends/aunts/uncles for? 

Funny Baby Card, $4, etsy.com

Because, Science

Luckily, your baby will get all of the good DNA.

Funny New Baby Card, $4.50, etsy.com

Tiny Human

Isn’t that essentially what babies are? 

Funny New Baby Card, $4.95, etsy.com

Lady Parts

You can call them lady parts, but I prefer to call them “miracle makers.” 

Funny New Baby Card, $4, etsy.com

MILF

Good thing you had that training, because you’ll be a MILF for the rest of your life now. 

Funny New Baby Card, $4, etsy.com

The Children Are Our Future

…they are literally the future, guys. 

Funny New Baby Card, $4.37, etsy.com

Perky Perks

Motherhood looks good on you, girl! 

Funny New Baby Card, $6, etsy.com

Boob Humor

Hahaha milked — get it? 

Funny New Baby Card, $4, etsy.com

Poop Machine

Congratulations? I guess? 

Funny New Baby Card, $4.50, etsy.com

So Not Prepared

Let’s be honest, no one is ever truly prepared to have a baby. But you’ll be fine! 

Funny New Baby Card, $4.44, etsy.com

Hey Girl Hey

This is a card for those of you who like to get right to the point. 

Funny New Baby Card, $4, etsy.com

You Know That Old Saying?

Like I said, “miracle makers.” 

Funny New Baby Card, $4, etsy.com