Friends might be best known for "How you doin'?" and Chandler's inflections, but that's a moo point. As in a point a cow would make. It's moo. Have you been watching too much Friends or did that just make sense? The best quotes on the entire show, it turns out, come from it's highly quotable cast of minor recurring and even one time characters. Yeah, I said it. And I'm about to prove it. You can bump your fists together at me as much as you like. This is real life.
I mean, how is any of the main cast ever going to compete with the genius that is Jack and Judy Geller? Everything that comes out of those parents' mouths is comedy gold, and the delivery is impeccable. Jack is played by Elliot Gould, for crying out loud. And what about Gunther, Janice, Susan and Estelle? All brilliant characters with one purpose: to deliver incredible one-liners. If you're a real, true Friends fan, deeper cuts include Rhonda, Tom and Joey's Doctor. Or, of all the insane celebrity cameos, Robin Williams' glorious turn as the cuckold, Tomas. Without further ado, here it is—hard evidence that the best, most memorable quotes on Friends weren't actually said by any of the six main friends:
1. "Phoebe, I think Jacques Cousteau is dead." - Judy Geller
From "The One Where Ross Got High", Season 6, Episode 9.
This might be one of the greatest scenes in TV comedy history, and Judy Geller might be one of my favorite characters ever. Her screen time to delivery value is unparalleled, and her response to the friends' confessions in this scene is brilliant. If you're a teen of the 90s you remember this speech and can recite it like the "Star-crossed lovers" narration at the start of Romeo + Juliet.
2. "I'm Rhonda, and these aren't real!" - Rhonda
From "The One With Phoebe's Uterus", Season 4, Episode 11.
Before she was the Queen of Jordan, Sherri Shepherd was Rhonda the museum tour guide.
3. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Al Minza and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get, and don't make on the floor." - Estelle Leonard
From "The One Where Eddie Won't Go", Season 2, Episode 19.
This is probably my favorite Friends quote ever. Have you ever seen me ecstatic? I love Estelle.
4. "My mom calls it bloomies." - Tom
From "The One Where Ross Moves In", Season 5, Episode 7.
If you're a Doug Benson fan, yes, that is him.
5. "Well I gotta buy a vowel. Because O my God!" - Janice
From "The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel", Season 3, Episode 4.
Maggie Wheeler is a Goddess.
6. "Everyone thinks they know me, everyone says, 'Jack Geller, so predictable.' Maybe after I'm gone they'll say, 'Buried at sea. Huh.'" - Jack Geller
From "The One Where Nana Dies Twice", Season 1, Episode 8.
Jack Geller talks so much glorious nonsense. He's the Long Island Phil Dunphy of the '90s.
7. "Kidney stones." - Joey's Doctor
From "The One Hundredth", Season 5, Episode 3
It's not so much what he says, but how he says it.
8. "I certainly see why the girls like coming here...The sexy blonde behind the counter." - Judy Geller
From "The One With Chandler And Monica's Wedding (Part One)", Season 7, Episode 23.
Judy Geller, at it again. I couldn't find a video of this to make a gif out of, so you'll have to use your memory, and also your imagination to consider how a spin off show about a love affair between Judy and Gunther would go.
9. "Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house." - Gunther
From "The One Where Monica And Richard Are Just Friends", Season 3, Episode 13.
Poor Gunther, always there, always delivering, rarely receiving his due.
10. "Maybe it's my wound... It's oozing." - Tomas
From "The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champion", Season 3, Episode 24.
I think Robin Williams had the best one-off, celebrity cameo ever on Friends.
11. "Yeah, you know, you have to take a course, otherwise they don't let you do it." - Susan Bunch
From "The One Where Underdog Gets Away", Season 1, Episode 9.
This is Susan's completely dead pan response to Ross pointing out that she and Carol have a lot of books about lesbianism. Poor Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Images: NBC(3); YouTube(8)