I don't know about you, but today was going pretty well for me. The weather in New York was sunny and warm, I ordered sushi for lunch, and Fourth of July weekend loomed ahead like a glorious thing. But then, at 4:30 p.m, it all ended. In the blink of an eye, the good times came to a sudden, shocking conclusion: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced their divorce. And suddenly, everything wonderful about the day, everything promising about the future, was gone.
OK, I'm exaggerating. A bit. I don't know either Affleck or Garner personally, and I'm sure their break-up is much harder on their family and friends than it is for me. I feel genuinely bad for all involved, and I'd like to think that the pair wouldn't have split after 10 years unless it was the best thing for them and their children. That said: I am truly and totally devastated by this break-up, and after taking one look at Twitter (and having heard the literal gasps from around my office when the news was announced), I know I'm not the only one.
Because back when they were together (even saying that feels weird), Affleck and Garner made an incredible pair. They balanced each other's personalities out, spoke publicly and honestly about the challenges of marriage, and raised three adorable, seemingly well-adjusted kids. They seemed like one of Hollywood's most stable and happy couples, their pairing inspiring real #relationshipgoals whenever they appeared on a red carpet or complimented each other on TV.
Yet suddenly, it's all over. And I, for one, am heartbroken. It's going to take me a long time to get over this one, if I ever do; I wouldn't be surprised a couple of years might go by before I can finally utter the words "no more Ben and Jen." Until then, I'll be busy processing their break-up through these five stages of grief:
A co-worker is the one to bring me the bad news. She did preface it with a "sorry!" but it still doesn't soften the blow of the shock I feel upon reading the announcement on People . Ben and Jen? My Ben and Jen?! It just doesn't feel real. No, no, no. This can't be real — this has to be another one of those tabloid articles predicting that they'll get divorced, right? They wouldn't just do this to me, not like this! Still, I've read the statement several times, have talked it through with my co-workers, and have seen Twitter fill up with reactions. I'm starting to realize that the announcement is true. This is my new reality.
I DO NOT LIKE MY NEW REALITY. I DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL.
If you're listening, Hollywood relationship Gods, I will give you John Legend and Chrissy Teigen for this. Hell, I'll even give you Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris! (I'm sorry, Taylor. Please forgive me). I just need my Bennifer 2.0 back, please.
Honestly, what's the point of any of us trying to date and fall in love? Is it even worth it, if the best couple there is can't make it, and they had the whole world rooting for them? I'm just gonna curl up in a ball and cry. In my office. Where my co-workers can see me. And judge all they want. I'm too sad to care.
Hasn't happened yet. I'll let you know if it ever does. Bennifer, come back?
Images: Giphy (5)