You know those moments where you see an invention and want to kick yourself, thinking, "Why didn't I come up with that?" Well, that happened to me today when I came across an ad for the dog-washing device Woof Washer — basically an at-home car wash system for your dog. It's pretty much a hola-hoop you attach to your hose that your dog walks through, and voila — clean pooch. Genius.
Sure, it's not an IV of caffeine that dispenses when my alarm clock rings — so why am I so excited? Well, anyone who has a dog knows the Jekyll and Hyde nonsense they pull when it's bath time. As soon as my dog realizes I'm trying to invite him inside the bathroom, it's suddenly like the worst game of hide and seek I've ever played. News flash, pup: I can see you under the table. Turning your head doesn't make you invisible. Then when I actually get him in the tub, he doesn't win until I'm even more soaked then he is. And can we just talk about the amount of hair that coagulates at the bottom of the tub after I give him a bath? It's like a scene from American Wedding. Then he runs around the house shaking and rubbing himself on everything.
...is epic. Here, check out the full video:
Sometimes owning a dog me wonder what's more difficult — raising a dog or a kid? I mean, I don't have any kids, so I can't accurately compare (and I definitely don't mean to minimize parenting, which is definitely both a big deal and a full-time gig) — but I do a lot of things for my dog that I'll always to do for him, while with kids? Well, they usually grow up and learn to do it themselves eventually.
Let's talk about some of the basics:
Dogs never learn to bathe themselves.
Teenagers take 45-minute-long showers.
Dogs can't drive... like, take yourself to the vet, man.
Kids can eventually drive, but your car insurance will most likely quadruple.
Dogs can't talk with actual human words. This may actually be a great thing. However, I do know quite a few who are sassy enough to let you know exactly what they want. For example, this is an actual picture of my dog throwing me shade. Just look at that face and tell me he doesn't know exactly what he's saying.
Babies can't talk. Kids talk too much. Teenagers ignore you.
Dogs can be expensive. I mean, there isn't pet Obamacare.
However, I won't have to throw my dog a Super Sweet 16 or send him to college.
I don't know about you but my dog wants my attention all. The time.
Little kids need you all the time, but eventually having you around is probably the worst embarrassment their 25-year-old lives could even endure.
I don't know; maybe it's a toss up. Unlike dogs, kids grow up and become independent (hopefully). However, having kids is definitely more expensive and with (arguably) a higher emotional investment. But hey, whatever your final consensus is with either, the benefits are pretty great.
You get to play dress up:
You always have someone to cuddle:
And most importantly, you get a buddy for life:
Images: DAHstra, Mary, MCA / Mike Allyn/Flickr; OfficialAsSeenOnTV1/YouTube; Giphy (9)