J.J. Abram's terrific follow-up to Lost, Fringe , may have finished its five year run on FOX over two years ago, but the trippy sci-fi show — and its beloved characters like Olivia Dunham, Peter Bishop, and Walter Bishop — are probably still fresh in the minds of fans of the genre, as adequate replacements have been few and far between. For every runaway hit like BBC America's Orphan Black , there are three prematurely cancelled shows like ABC's V, The CW's The Tomorrow People, or FOX's Almost Human. (Or FOX's Dollhouse. Or FOX's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. What gives, FOX?)
Of all the memorable cases and bizarre monsters and eccentric characters that Fringe graced us with in 100 eventful episodes, perhaps none are more adored than Walter, played by John Noble (Sleepy Hollow's villainous Henry, soon to be Sherlock's dad on Elementary ) with a potent mixture of wit and pathos. The emotional center of the show was the estranged relationship between Walter and his son, Peter (who it turned out was actually kidnapped from a parallel universe by Walter after Walter's real son died). Watching these two brilliant stubborn men work their way back to each other over the course of five years was always poignant... leading, of course, to a heartbreaking series finale.
Lest I'm making Fringe sound too angst-ridden, let's also remember that Walter Bishop was also the LSD-loving, one-liner dispensing comedic relief of the show. His utterly lack of a filter led to many memorable quotes, several of which are strangely applicable to everyday life — considering they came out of the mouth of a mad scientist.
Here are 11 of the best Walter Bishop quotes to help you get through your miserable Monday morning. Let's start things off with one for the gentlemen:
1. On That Awkward Morning Wood
"I just got an erection. Oh, fear not, it's nothing to do with your state of undress. I just simply need to urinate."
2. On The Proper Cereal Ingredients
"The only thing better than a cow is a human! Unless you need milk. Then you really need a cow."
3. On Ordering Office Supplies
"I hope she doesn't notice the $2,000 for the baboon seminal fluid I ordered. I hope I can recall why I ordered it..."
4. On Brutal Honesty
"Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I am not interested in what you think."
5. On The Importance Of Lunchtime
"I'm bored. No cadavers at this crime scene. Or food."
6. On The Dangers Of Public Swimming
"We're all victims of our own gene pool. Someone must have peed in yours."
7. On Air Travel
"The turbulence over Ohio was like being in the belly of a seizing whale. I screamed like a little girl!"
8. On Setting Lofty Goals
"We're trying to plug a hole in the universe. What are you doing here?"
9. On Getting Ready For Bed
"Tonight, you look under your bed, and lo and behold, you find a monster! And you're immediately eaten. Now, if you hadn't looked for the monster, you wouldn't have found it and you'd still be happy in your bed, instead of being slowly digested in the stomach sac of the creature. But, with any luck, your sister or your brothers might have heard your screams, and your endeavor will serve as a valuable lesson to them."
10. On The Amazing Fact That It's Not Monday Anymore
"They... they have this horrible... pudding here. Butterscotch pudding on Mondays, it's dreadful."
"Oh... Oh, that's fantastic news!"
See? I told you he could solve anything.