I Talked To People On Tinder Using Only Presidential Quotes — And Here's What Happened

As James Garfield once so eloquently stated, "Be fit for more than the thing you are now doing." For this particular experiment, I'm going to interpret that as "always date out of your league." It's essentially what that means, right? Strive for more. And who better to tell you that than the President of The United States? That's what I thought when I set out for the ultimate Fourth of July love experiment: talk to guys on Tinder using only quotes from former presidents. ... And a couple from our current one (shout out, Obama!). I mean, c'mon, these guys basically got to woo (and be woo'd by) the president!

Before embarking on this very patriotic journey, I seriously pondered whether or not anyone would recognize any of these quotes (which by the way, I pulled mostly from this very helpful Business Insider article). Or, if I should change my identity on Tinder, given I myself am a sporadic user.

Neither of these things happened. It's all me out there, and subsequently deemed insane (or as you'll read, "hot", by many.)

One thing became clear: you can pretty much say anything on Tinder and it doesn't matter. The objective never waivers.

So here it is, America — on the cusp of your birthday — what happens when you talk to Tinder guys exclusively in President quotes.

Yes, I was talking about baseball. Of course I was.

I actually think I may have a crush on this guy.

Honestly, I was surprised this dude didn’t pick up what I was putting down. These are pretty famous Clinton lines. Or if nothing else, get pretty turned on by the second one.

These famous Andrew Jackson words could borderline double as dirty talk. Not sure why this guy dropped out. Dude, I said to “go in!”

Man of few words. I get it. Woodrow Wilson would be offended, though.

Blocked. Don’t you like Lincoln, bro?

Now that I read this again, this dude could have easily taken offense to this. I basically said he had a crappy coat.

This guy could run for president himself, just look at that persistence! What a platform.

Total. Skeptic.

I was impressed with how deep this guy was. He was clearly interested in my inner thoughts, and political aspirations. (No, no he wasn’t.)