NYPD WIll Not Tolerate Drunk Santas

You heard it here first: The NYPD will not, we repeat, will not tolerate drunk santas this year. (Well, hell, there go my holiday plans.) A letter from New York City police encourages bar owners in Midtown to ban drunken Santacon revelers. (Santacon, for those of you who don't know, is the unofficial celebration of New York City-Douchebag's finest, and takes place on Dec. 14.) The NYPD's letter reads:

The number of participants has grown large enough to completely overwhelm the sidewalks and public spaces...Having thousands of intoxicated partygoers roam the streets urinating, littering, vomiting and vandalizing will not be tolerated in our neighborhood...It is my recommendation that you do not sponsor this event in any way.

Meanwhile in Amsterdam, alcoholics are of course much more productive. Apparently, the city is paying them in beer to help clean up the streets. The Daily Mail reports:

The Rainbow Foundation Project gives the addicts 10 euros (£8), half a pouch of rolling tobacco and five cans of beer for every day they turn up at work.
The addicts are split into two teams of around 10 and work three day weeks as part of the initiative, which is funded by government grants and public donations.

If this is anything like marijuana legalization, you can expect to see this happening in New York City on Santacon 2065.

Oh, and because it's Friday, even more news about alcohol: archeologists have found very ancient wine.

And if that sounds mighty tasty right about now, that's probably because you've been working all week, and not for much pay. Policy Mic argues that we Millenials should be asking for raises:

Are millennials being groomed to expect lower salaries on top of everything else? ... Lower pay at the outset of our careers, greater debt, and reduced opportunities to advance in traditional career roles essentially guarantees that millennials will earn less over the course of their lifetimes than generations before. A $5000 difference in income early in your career can cost $600,000 over a lifetime, according to a study by George Mason University (hey alma mater!) and Temple University. A study in 2009 examining some of the first millennials to enter the job market found that 20% of the age 21-30 crowd received a pay cut, and 14% lost their jobs compared to 8% of Boomers. The economy is disproportionally impacting younger workers, making it much harder for them to recover from such losses, both financially and professionally.

Meanwhile, your crush Jennifer Lawrence knows how to ask for what she wants. She was also on Daily Show last night, so you probably want to watch that.