Why do men love anal sex? Every guy I've dated has requested anal at some point, even to the point of begging. This experience seems to be ubiquitous in heterosexual relationships. What's the big deal? Does anal really feel that much better than vaginal sex? Or is it about the feeling of dominance, more than anything else? I decided to find out.
The topic of the male obsession with anal is treated as somewhat of a joke in popular culture. It was even referenced to much controversy in an episode of The Mindy Project, when Mindy's boyfriend Danny attempted anal without her permission and then innocently claimed, "I slipped." (For the record: You and your partner should always talk about anal sex and make sure that you're both on board before kicking things off.)
Since we know how women feel about anal sex, I spoke with 6 gay men and 6 straight men to gain a better understanding of the male prerogative. I found that for gay men, their physical experience of anal sex paralleled that of vaginal sex for women. Their prostate serves as the male pleasure center, much like the clitoris for women.
The men who give anal sex described an emotional as well as physical element to their experience. When speaking to me, they described anal sex as tighter, more slippery, and more pleasurable. Additionally, they described feeling a sense of dominance and control towards their female partners. They tended to view anal sex as a social accomplishment, and their partner as submissive because their partners had "allowed" them to do anal sex. For them, the accomplishment of getting a girl to do anal signified a level of sexual prowess that figured significantly into their confidence. Here are some perspectives on anal sex, from the catchers and the pitchers.
Receiving (Men Having Sex With Men):
1. *Jon, 22:
"It feels like pooping in reverse but in the most pleasurable way."
2. *Dan, 21:
"Since the prostate is the pleasure center it feels really good and you get really aroused."
3. *Kyle, 22:
"If you're aroused and relax then it feels amazing."
4. *Miguel, 20:
"The prostate is the male G spot so it feels analogous to getting touched at the most sensitive part of my penis."
5. *Dmitry, 21:
"It feels deep and filling and good."
6. *Max, 23:
"It's amazing, especially when his penis hits against my prostate."
Giving (Men Giving to Women):
7. *Tanner, 20:
"It's tighter.. not as soft.. It feels unreal. It feels like a step above sex so it makes me feel more dominant."
8. *James, 23:
"It doesn't feel much different from vaginal sex, except tighter and not as well lubricated."
9. *Lee, 25:
"It feels amazing. It's much tighter and there's more friction. Also, I'm a very dominant person and there's something naturally transgressive about it, which makes it hotter."
10. *Sean, 20:
"Anal isn't that great. It almost feels too tight. But I like the accomplishment of getting a girl to do it. It's like the ultimate control — it's some next level sh*t."
11. *Jake, 22:
"It just feels better in general because of the tightness, but for me the dominance is an added bonus. It's like doggy style but I'm responsible for more of the work."
12. *Elli, 26:
"The texture's different. It feels more slippery. I don't think its any better than vaginal sex, but there's something taboo about it that makes it hot. Its just something you do to be able to say you did it."
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*Names have been changed