When You Prefer Netflix To Humans

I've always been mature. Mentally, at least. (And tooth-wise. I lost my first baby tooth in pre-school. Also, my dentist says I have the tooth damage of a typical person twice my age. But that seems unrelated.) As we age, many of us become less enchanted with other humans as whole, in general. I'm already there, for the most part. As such, there's things our tribe of people who prefer Netflix to humans are tired of hearing.

I know this might be shocking information, but people tend to differ. Sometimes by a whole lot. None of us have matching personal definitions of success or fun or delicious. So work on swallowing that truth pill and we can move on. Ready?

Whew. I bet you feel better already. OK, so I may joke on here often about "not getting" other people or decisions or lifestyles or whatever. It may be true I can't personally identify with everything, but who can? Struggling to do so in a comedic way can make for a successful listicle, but a pretty miserable life. When it comes to trying to understand a person who prefers Netflix to humans, the same acceptance is also necessary. You might not get it, but you don't have to. Here's some things our tribe are tired of hearing about our lives:

"How are you ever going to meet someone?"

It's not really a priority for everyone, honestly. And if it were, you know what pairs great with a night on the couch and Netflix? Swiping around Tinder while safe in your pillow fort with corn chips and every episode ever of Friends.

"You should get out more."

Maybe actually you should stay in more.

"Don't you have trouble sitting still?'

Actually, no. And maybe I should be more alarmed about this fact. But that'd just get in the way of my marathoning and I'm no quitter, so.

"You look a little pale."

Yes, but I'll have fewer wrinkles than you.

"How often do you leave your apartment?"

In the winter? Seriously? As little as possible. In the summer? ...same.

"You must get a lot of sleep, though."

When I'm able to convince myself it's OK to take a nap break, then I do pretty well on the sleep front. Often, though, it's easier to just not sleep and keep watching. Forever.

"Are you a shy person?"

Not particularly, simply not a big fan of all other people existing outside my queue.

"Do you have social anxiety or something?"

I do fine in social situations, it's just that I secretly don't enjoy any of them.

"Netflix will still be there even if you go out."

I know, but it's the being around other people part that's really unappealing.

"Bad break-up?"

At times, perhaps. But this is kinda my default setting.

"Are you mad at me?"

Maybe. But you'll never know because I'm too wrapped up in this Buffy thing. I'm sure you understand. Or you don't. Either way, you're obscuring my view ATM. Please step aside and keep stepping until you're outside so I can close my door.

"Have you heard of Orange Is The New Black? The first few episodes seem intense."

Have YOU ever heard of AIR?! Bye.

"People might stop asking you to hang out if you keep this up."

That's the plan!

Images: Pexels; Giphy