Entertainment

78 'Real Housewives' Stars Ranked

by Lisa Fogarty

All of the Real Housewives have a special place in my heart because they put themselves out there in the hopes that Americans will finally understand the plight of the privileged. Many of them seem like loving, caring parents who are devoted to their children and spouses and who would be loyal friends if they weren't constantly being stabbed in the back. Ever since Bravo premiered The Real Housewives of Orange County in 2007, many people have become fixated on these women, their daily lives, careers, goals, wins, and failures. Some of the reality TV divas, like Teresa Giudice and Bethenny Frankel, have enjoyed success and stardom separate from the show, while others have simply melted far, far away from our subconscious.

The Housewives franchise has proven so irresistible that countries like Greece and Australia have their own versions of the show. For the purposes of this ranking (and because I've never watched a second of any of the international installments), I've focused on each and every Housewife from the Real Housewives of New York,

, Miami,

, Beverly Hills, D.C., Orange County. Potomac is left off this list since I don't feel I know the women well enough to make judgements just yet.

I have passed judgement based on four criteria:

  • Drama Ranking, aka the ability to create drama where none need exist
  • Ability To Play Well With Others
  • Personal Success Goals
  • Snooze Factor, or the ability to not make us fall asleep while watching the show

Someone had to do it. Now prepare to argue — and feel free to throw a glass of Pinot at your computer screen and pretend it's me. And keep in mind, all of the below is just one gal's opinion. OK, here we go!

78. Michaele Salahi

Series: The Real Housewives of D.C.

Drama Ranking: Most of Michaele's drama took place with her husband Tareq, and a good 99 percent of it was nonsense they created. The couple is known for allegedly gatecrashing a 2009 state dinner for the Congressional Black Caucus so they could snap photos of themselves with high-profile politicians. (The Salahi's lawyer claimed at the time that the couple was "cleared by the White House" to be at the event.)

Ability To Play Well With Others: Not at all. She and Tareq reportedly feuded with their suburban Virginia neighbors over everything from loud, obnoxious parties to wanting to expand their vinery.

Goals: Gatecrash more events? Salahi claims she was a model before meeting her husband, but as far as anyone knows, there is no record of her walking on any runway in the history of Fashion Week.

Snooze Factor:

Housewives, Salahi was surprisingly snoozetastic. She simply wasn't interesting to watch because she tried too hard to be interesting.

77. Mary Schmidt Amons

Series: The Real Housewives of D.C.

Drama Ranking: Mary Schmidt Amons would have been happy raising her five children with soon-to-be-ex-husband Rich if those damn Salahis hadn't gotten in her way. When Tareq allegedly accused her daughter of stealing his polo gear and car, Mary turned the other cheek and decided not to confront him or Michaele. Ordinarily, I'd say bravo to her for not inviting drama into your life, but this is reality TV, baby. Do something.

Ability To Play Well With Others: If Mary could hold it together after her own child was accused of theft, I'd say she plays a little too well with others.

Personal Success/Goals: She's famous for saying she "doesn't

, she spends it." So, nothing.

Snooze Factor: Herein lies the problem: She seemed nice, but didn't give us anything to work with.

76. Lynda Erkiletian

Series: The Real Housewives of D.C.

Drama Ranking: If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to get all of D.C. out of the equation and Lynda Erkiletian, a single mom of four, was too much of a confident boss to have any interest in real drama.

Ability To Play Well With Others: She was more of a solo performer who chose not to get caught up in other people's crap. She was married and divorced twice, dating a hot, younger man, and doing her thing.

Personal Success/Goals: She's the founder and CEO of T.H.E. Artist Agency and gets props for trying to raise the profile of D.C. fashion.

Snooze Factor: Lynda is great and I have nothing against her, but she didn't have much to do on a show that needs women to be operating at their most dramatic.

75. Staci Scott Turner

Series: The Real Housewives of D.C.

Drama Ranking: Turner didn't mince words or beat around the bush, and she wasn't afraid of confrontation. But she was also logical to a fault. She was too rational and cool-headed to make a good Real Housewife.

Ability To Play Well With Others: Totally capable of playing well — anyone who annoyed her (like Michaele) did so because they were ridiculously annoying. Team Staci all the way.

Personal Success/Goals: Staci attended Harvard Business School, knew Barack Obama before he was POTUS, and is a successful real estate agent.

Snooze Factor: I loved her, respected her intelligence and parenting skills, and adored her fun relationship with husband Jason (with whom she has since separated). But that reality TV spark needed to hold a viewer's attention? Not there.

74. Cat Ommanney

Series: The Real Housewives of D.C.

Drama Ranking: The British mom of three was the closest the RHODC ever got to enjoying a villain (Michaele wasn't portrayed as evil, just obsessed with status and appearances). Cat, who has since moved back to the UK, always complained that the other ladies misunderstood her. But there was that time she claimed she made out with a much younger Prince Harry, so I'm not sure how much I believe her.

Ability To Play Well With Others: Not her strongest characteristic.

Personal Success/Goals: Cat is an interior decorator and author, who wrote Inbox Full and a sequel and told Reality Wives she is working on a screenplay for the book. Unlike some of the other Housewives, she didn't rely on the city that made her famous to be successful — after divorcing her husband, she moved back to the U.K. with her two daughters and her business is based in Spain.

Snooze Factor: If it wasn't for her outspoken nature, viewers would find themselves asleep 10 minutes after the start of each show. She helped fans make it until at least 12 minutes.

73. Ana Quincoces

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: There was that one time she was arrested for driving with a suspended license in Key Largo while on her way to confront her ex's new girlfriend. That was crazy. Other than that, it always felt like she was attempting to purposely create drama, but not with much success.

Ability To Play Well With Others: She certainly didn't play nice with Lea Black, siding with Marysol, who didn't exactly need her assistance taking on Lea.

Personal Success/Goals: Ana is a lawyer, chef, and cookbook author who specializes in Cuban cuisine.

Snooze Factor: Blink your eyes and you missed her. To be fair, she only appeared as a cast member in Season 2, but she didn't have the reality TV chops to hang with the big guns.

Sorry, Ana, you're lovely, but ranked dead last out of all of the non-D.C. Housewives (who shouldn't even count at all).

72. Cristy Rice

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: Pretty high considering Cristy was only featured on one season of the show. The world was introduced to her in 2011, right after she divorced NBA star Glen Rice, thereby guaranteeing her head would already be consumed with drama from day one.

Ability To Play Well With Others: Not her strong suit. She allegedly crashed Lea Black's fundraising event and acted like a wild crazed person, prompting Lea to allegedly compare her to a $1,000 a night hooker.

Personal Success/Goals: Cristy is a single mom of three and an entrepreneur who runs swimwear line Cuban Rice.

Snooze Factor: She tried to create controversy, bless her heart, but it always seemed like she was on the show more for what it could do for her career than for her love of reality TV. That makes her a smart businesswoman, but not an interesting person to watch.

71. Taylor Armstrong

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: From the get-go viewers knew something was horribly off with Armstrong's dysfunctional marriage to Russell. He was allegedly verbally and physically abusive to her, something that created a bond between her and many of the show's sympathetic viewers. She experienced a great deal of heartache, understandably, when her ex committed suicide not long after their divorce.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Taylor is a nice woman. That fact caused some of other housewives (cough, Yolanda Foster) to swarm around her like sharks, waiting for an opportunity to chomp on her leg. For the most part, she didn't instigate and go out of her way to create drama. After the show, she focused on her personal life and remarried attorney John Bluher in 2014.

Personal Success/Goals: Armstrong is a sometimes TV personality who has appeared on Entertainment Tonight. She organizes fundraisers and speaks on the behalf of 1736 Family Crisis Center, a nonprofit for domestic abuse victims.

Snooze Factor: Maybe she wasn't the most electric Housewife, but Armstrong had heart and that goes a long way on reality TV. I hate to cut her points for being a little too sane, but it has to be done.

70. Alexis Bellino

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Higher than the highest mountain. Bellino has fought with everyone — from Gretchen Rossi, who was her BFF at one point, until Rossi allegedly called her "pretentious" and Bellino responded by ripping her a new one on Twitter — to Tamra Barney, who allegedly kicked her out of a dinner party at her gym and pretty much hates her guts forever and ever (Amen). She's the woman you'd feel bad for, if she weren't constantly instigating a fight.

Ability to Play Well With Others: No ability whatsoever. It's like she was absent for all of Kindergarten and got this far in life without learning how to maintain one solid friendship.

Personal Success/Goals: She and her husband Jim are the owners of three trampoline parks in California.

Snooze Factor: If I could fall into a temporary coma just when Bellino appears on screen, I would. Happily.

Overall Ranking: 70/78

69. Cindy Barshop

Series: The Real Housewives of New York City

Drama Ranking: It was never going to be easy (or possible) to come and fill in for Bethenny Frankel, which is essentially what Barshop's role was supposed to be. She did her best, but with twin daughters and a thriving business, she had zero time for BS — which meant she faded in the background behind all of the Housewives who had nothing but time for BS.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She made friends and rarely made enemies.

Personal Success/Goals: Barshop and eyebrow expert Joey Healy are working together to grow Completely Bare, their laser and wax-based hair removal spas.

Snooze Factor: It was easy to forget Barshop, though a big part of that was because she left the show after just one season.

Overall Ranking: 69/78

68. Jo De La Rosa

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Blame De La Rosa for Gretchen Rossi, who was her friend — if by friend, you mean someone who dates guys you dated and eventually proposes to them — before Rossi was cast on the show. She was super young when she was cast as a Housewife and it was pretty evident she wanted to use the show to help kickstart a singing career.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Eh, she was fine.

Personal Success/Goals: She now works at a marketing and advertising company in Los Angeles.

Snooze Factor: You're getting sleepy ... very sleepy.

Overall Ranking: 68/78

67. Quinn Fry

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Aww, remember Quinn Fry? I really liked her. She was nice, honest, and willing to work hard for her success. In other words, she was never meant to last on Housewives. She was one of the least dramatic women to grace the TV series — unless you count her dates with much younger men as drama.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Fry is aces at making friends. In fact, she still hangs out with Jeana Keough and Tammy Knickerbocker.

Personal Success/Goals: She is currently a marketing manager and webmaster at Cox Communications.

Snooze Factor: Not a deep sleep, but more like a light, refreshing nap.

Overall Ranking: 67/78

66. Tammy Knickerbocker

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Any drama Knickerbocker endured wasn't through any fault of her own. Not long after joining the cast in Season 2, the single mom of three learned her ex and the father of two of her children died of a heart attack.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Knickerbocker proved a great friend and ally to the others and has stayed close with Fry, Vicki Gunvalson, and Keough, according to Bravo.

Personal Success/Goals: She's a woman who wears many hats — after leaving the show to focus on web magazine Veriya.com, Knickerbocker started a charity called Housewives4Housewives and appeared in a commercial representing Final Inches, which she credits for her Mommy Makeover. She may not be a household name, but she gets points for working hard.

Snooze Factor: It's difficult to remember her time on the show, which means she was lovely, but wasn't the most exciting cast member.

Overall Ranking: 66/78

65. Claudia Jordan

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: First rule of RHOA: fight with NeNe Leakes in order to stand out from the others. Second rule: don't fight with her so much that she reportedly finds a way to get you kicked off the show. Even though there's no proof Leakes had her fired, she hated her enough to call her a "whore" on camera and producers knew their bread was buttered by Leakes. One of them had to go it seemed. It sure as hell wasn't going to be Leakes.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Jordan was buddies with Kenya Moore, who was sad to see her go. But that thing with Leakes — it ran ocean-deep.

Personal Success/Goals: Jordan is a model and actress who owes her success to television shows such as Deal or No Deal and Celebrity Apprentice. She co-hosted the Miss Universe pageant and is a radio show host.

Snooze Factor: Her fights with Leakes were slightly entertaining, but no one is a match for the diva — certainly not Jordan.

Overall Ranking: 65/78

64. Larsa Pippen

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: When she wasn't hanging around with Kim Kardashian, she was very good at creating drama where none existed in her otherwise fabulous life.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Pippen was the rich lady of every nanny's worst nightmares — she was downright rude to the people she hired to keep her life in order.

Personal Success/Goals: Organizes charity events for organizations that work to promote awareness for breast and ovarian cancer.

Snooze Factor: Boring as sin.

Overall Ranking: 64/78

63. Meghan King Edmonds

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: It's too early to seriously weigh in on King Edmonds' penchant for drama, but it looks promising. She and Shannon Beador didn't start off on the right foot, but she upped the drama quotient by inviting every Housewife with the exception of Beador to a big charity event she hosted. Amateur, high school drama, which makes sense given her age (oh snap, I went there).

Ability to Play Well With Others: Maybe they're jealous, or maybe they're right, but all of the Housewives feel like King Edmonds acts like a big ole entitled girl married to a famous baseball player. No one is impressed.

Personal Success/Goals: Before marrying Jim Edmonds, she worked in medical software sales in St. Louis. She's now the sales director for Sweat Cosmetics.

Snooze Factor: I think she could turn out to be an interesting Housewife, but it's too premature to say she is lighting up the small screen. There's potential, though.

Overall Ranking: 63/78

62. Lynne Curtin

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Curtin isn't higher up on the list because the drama she dealt with (and still deals with) isn't juicy, it's sad. Everything seems to be always falling apart in her life. Her young daughter Alexa appeared to be spinning out of control and was recently arrested for public drinking, according to Radar Online — which happened after Curtin discovered she had done porn in order to pay for plastic surgery. On top of all that, she and husband Frank divorced after more than 20 years together, she claims she's broke, according to TMZ, and her handbag line, Lynne Curtin Designs, reportedly only pays her a salary of $3,000 a year.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Getting along with others is the least of her worries, but she didn't do that so well, either. She and Gretchen Rossi appeared to be rivals on the show and Curtin always allegedly accused her of ripping off her business ideas.

Personal Success/Goals: Lynne Curtin Designs is her baby — and I hope it makes her a fortune one day. But she isn't a household name (yet).

Snooze Factor: I need to stay awake long enough to make sure she gets through another day. But Reality TV is supposed to be an escape and Curtin's drama is far too real.

Overall Ranking: 62/78

61. DeShawn Snow

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: The only thing anyone remembers about Snow was that she was married to former pro basketball player Eric Snow, whom nobody trusted. Turned out he allegedly cheated on her and got another woman pregnant. Drama, for sure, but Snow kept a lot of what is assumed was going on in her relationship under wraps. Even Leakes told Access Hollywood the reason Snow wasn't invited back for a second season was because she wasn't enough of a "drama queen."

Ability to Play Well With Others: Snow was more reserved than her cast members and wasn't out to cause trouble.

Personal Success/Goals: Snow now writes children's books and is the author of the Lil Shawnee book series for tweens, according to Bravo.

Snooze Factor: I respect Snow's desire for privacy, but that isn't going to fly on reality TV — it just made her seem like a snooze.

Overall Ranking: 61/78

60. Lydia McLaughlin

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: As a woman of deep faith, there was no way McLaughlin was going to be able to put up with all of the fighting and petty jealousy and gossip the others dished out and took on a regular basis. She left the show because, she told E! it wasn't in God's plan for her — in other words, God has no time for BS.

Ability to Play Well With Others: The worst fight she ever had with another cast member was when she snapped at Slade Smiley for making fun of her thin frame and his girlfriend Gretchen Rossi snapped at her for it. They didn't just kiss and make up, McLaughlin dedicated her entire goddamn book to Rossi and Slade. Seriously, WTF? She isn't living on the same planet as most of the other Housewives — there was no shot of this lasting.

Personal Success/Goals: She's a magazine editor and the author of a Christian memoir called Beyond Orange County: A Housewives Guide to Faith and Happiness.

Snooze Factor: She's adorable, sweet, and I love her — but the world doesn't make sense with her living as a Housewife in it. Great person, sleepy housewife.

Overall Ranking: 60/78

59. Cynthia Bailey

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Allow me to speak directly to Bailey for a second because I can't even anymore. Cynthia, I know it's none of my business, but your husband is your drama. You allegedly caught him kissing a woman on video with passionate fervor, he claims she's a friend, and you're okay with this? Porsha Williams didn't hold anything back by allegedly accusing him of sleeping with every woman in Atlanta and he is making you look like a f-o-o-l — something you are not.

Ability to Play Well With Others: NeNe Leakes called her "crazy" on her Bravo blog and the other girls seem like they're patiently waiting for her to wake up. To her credit, Bailey rarely totally trashes anyone and does her best to keep it classy.

Personal Success/Goals: Bailey is a model who appeared on the cover of Essence magazine and has starred in several ad campaigns for brands like Maybelline and Lord & Taylor. She also dabbles in acting and has started her own modeling school.

Snooze Factor: I will not rest until Bailey cuts her husband loose.

Overall Ranking: 59/78

58. Shannon Beador

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Beador and Meghan King Edmonds are constantly at each other's throats over utter nonsense, like who is the more charitable Housewife. But Beador's real drama is with husband David, who allegedly cheated on her and with whom she is trying to work things out.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Beador is a mystery for a lot of viewers — she's easily upset over King Edmonds' initial refusal to invite her to a charity event (she later extended an invitation to her), yet asks David to come back to her even though she knows he's head over heels for another woman. It sometimes seems like her anger is misdirected.

Personal Success/Goals: Ummm... Feng Shui advisor in training? Seriously, no clue.

Snooze Factor: Wake me up when she realizes her marriage isn't going to save her.

Overall Ranking: 58/78

57. Kathy Wakile

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: How can you resist drama when your cousin is Teresa Giudice and your cousin-in-law is Melissa Gorga? Wakile had a feud or two with Carolina Manzo and Teresa, but overall, she was a neutral observer to her family's madness. Her daughter suffered a benign brain tumor, so Wakile's mind was obviously elsewhere for most of the show.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Fair. I'd never fault her for fighting with Teresa because that's just too easy to do. Her open-minded, kind nature came out when viewers got to see her close relationship with sister Rosie, who came out as gay.

Personal Success/Goals: The queen of desserts has a line of ready-made cocktails called Red Velvet Cosmo, as well as Dolci Della Dea desserts and Goddess Eye Jewelry that donates a portion of its sales to the National Brain Tumor Society.

Snooze Factor: Let's just say she's a better person than she is a Housewife.

Overall Ranking: 57/78

56. Kimberly Bryant

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Bryant's major drama was an important one for viewers to watch: she was diagnosed with skin cancer at age 27 and had another scare while filming the show, all of which she had to deal with while raising two children.

Ability to Play Well With Others: The original ladies were kinder and gentler and Bryant was no exception.

Personal Success/Goals: She's now living in a Chicago suburb and is still a homemaker.

Snooze Factor: Cancer awareness is important. So is, I guess, the need to show everyone how to take your boobs from A to D via plastic surgery because your jerk husband wants you to have bigger boobs. Otherwise, major zzzz.

Overall Ranking: 56/78

55. Peggy Tanous

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Tanous was friends with Alexis Bellino and only lasted on the show for one season — I'm guessing this is because even after viewers found out she had dated Jim Bellino, absolutely nothing interesting came from it.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Tanous allegedly accused Bellino of trying to compete with her 4-year-old daughter by one upping her story about breaking her leg. Their silly brawl never managed to make it out of the sandbox and was extremely boring to watch.

Personal Success/Goals: She's a former model-turned-fitness guru who allegedly claims she is writing a book about her postpartum depression.

Snooze Factor: She never seemed entirely comfortable on the show and didn't hold viewers' attention.

Overall Ranking: 55/78

54. Karent Sierra

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: Never, in the history of dentistry, has there been a bigger sh*t-stirrer. Sierra came off as bubbly and charming, but was actually ready to destroy hearts and souls at moment's notice.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Overall, she was fine. Her biggest issue was that she liked to gossip. Told Joanna Krupa that Joe Francis claimed he slept with her, then seemed shocked with all hell broke loose in public. Ana Quincoces always looked 30 seconds away from slapping her.

Personal Success/Goals: She's a dentist. A celebrity dentist.

Snooze Factor: She's the most exciting dentist I've ever met, but that isn't saying much.

Overall Ranking: 54/78

53. Joyce Giraud

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: She had a tendency to get fired up at Brandi Glanville, with whom she feuded, but in her defense, it's Brandi Glanville.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Allegedly called Glanville a "racist" after the Housewife joked that the reason Giraud can't swim is because she's "black." Got annoyed when Glanville allegedly told her that her husband is short and ugly. All understandable reasons to get your feathers ruffled.

Personal Success/Goals: Giraud is a former Miss Puerto Rico and an actress.

Snooze Factor: Lovely girl, but she was too much in her own little world to truly connect with the audience.

Overall Ranking: 53/78

52. Lea Black

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: Her biggest beef was with Adriana de Moura, but in her defense, de Moura claimed to be her good friend and lied about being married, which is totally weird.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Forget it. In addition to fighting with de Moura, there are claims she allegedly tried to sabotage Marysol Patton's reputation and professional life, she was always snippy with Chrissy Rice, and Ana Quincoces couldn't stand being in the same room as her. Toxic.

Personal Success/Goals: Created beauty products and crystal handbags that three people on the planet can afford to buy and is a philanthropist who raises money for troubled teens.

Snooze Factor: It's not that she was boring to watch, it's that her gimmick was always the same: snap at people and appear bossy and all-knowing at all times. It got old.

Overall Ranking: 52/78

51. Lauri Peterson

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: She wins the award for who-the-hell-truly-understands-any-of-this drama, which took several twists and turns along the way, none of which made any damn sense. In addition to friendship drama, she had sad family drama involving her son allegedly battling a drug addiction.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Peterson allegedly accused Vicki Gunvalson of cheating on her ex-husband with another man and another woman — her former friend claimed the other woman was her sister and that she wasn't cheating, thank you very much, which explains nothing about the other man in her bed. But that isn't even the tip of the iceberg. Her husband George's ex-wife's mother apparently sent Gunvalson an email meant for Peterson, which she instead forwarded to everyone in the world. The email reportedly contained lies about her and, oh, it's just all so delicious and wrong.

Personal Success/Goals: Once upon a time, Peterson worked as an assistant at Gunvalson's insurance company.

Snooze Factor: She was entertaining as hell, but didn't last long enough to rank higher on the list.

Overall Ranking: 51/78

50. Nicole Napolitano

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: She was a nice girl ... and then she pulled Amber Marchese's hair at a costume party and it was like finding out the Prom Queen hot-wired cars on the weekend for extra cash.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Let me repeat: she pulled another adult human being's hair. Marchese was just as obnoxious and loud, but with one tug of hair she dragged the gang down from their senior year of high school to sophomore year.

Personal Success/Goals: Here's where she kicks major ass. Napolitano went from running a restaurant to working in private aviation as a jet broker.

Snooze Factor: It was all down hill from the hair-pulling incident. She also lost points for not dealing with Bobby in a more ruthless manner. She deserved better.

Overall Ranking: 50/78

49. Lisa Wu

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Compared to the other drama queens on Atlanta, Wu was a pussycat.

Ability to Play Well With Others: The Housewife who really ticked her off most was Kim Zolciak, whom she allegedly accused of being fake and putting on an act for the cameras.

Personal Success/Goals: Real estate broker who also has a clothing, baby, and jewelry line.

Snooze Factor: Wu was a pretty cool lady who didn't pretend to be something she wasn't — unfortunately, she couldn't stand out in the sea of nuts that was Atlanta, so she didn't leave a lasting impression.

Overall Ranking: 49/78

48. Kristin Taekman

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: If you're the new girl and you come in and attack Bethenny Frankel of all Housewives, you are dramatic. And asking to be fired.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Frankel allegedly thinks she's pretty but dumb and Taekman decided to have it out with her at Dorinda's party.

Personal Success/Goals: Model and founder of Last Night's Look and POCbeauty.com.

Snooze Factor: She's the least interesting Disney princess — Sleeping Beauty, maybe.

Overall Ranking: 48/78

47. Marysol Patton

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: Patton has a successful business that depends upon her maintaining a certain reputation. She always seemed well aware of how little she had to gain from taking the low road with the other Housewives and came across as classy and reserved.

Ability to Play Well With Others: It's difficult to keep your mouth shut when Larsa Pippen is mouthing off about what a B***h your mom is, but Patton didn't take the bait.

Personal Success/Goals: Public relations guru.

Snooze Factor: When your mom proves a bigger break-out star than you, it probably means you shouldn't be on a reality TV show.

Overall Ranking: 47/78

46. Jacqueline Laurita

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: Dina Manzo was the least of her issues — Laurita and husband Chris were seconds away from finding themselves in Teresa Giudice territory after claims that they misused millions of dollars in funds from their clothing company, Signature Apparel, came to light.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Laurita wants to do the right thing and has a kind heart, but keeps getting pulled back into the BS by her bonkers family members. To her credit, she makes up with Giudice (which isn't easy to do) and even found a way to get past her crap with Manzo. Her honesty is simultaneously her best quality and the one that gets her into trouble.

Personal Success/Goals: Cosmetologist.

Snooze Factor: You can't help but cheer for her — she's a loving mom and good friend (for the most part). I'm only awake because I want to make sure she's okay, despite all the crazy around her.

Overall Ranking: 46/78

45. Alex McCord

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: Even when McCord tried to be dramatic (like when she stormed in on LuAnn de Lesseps while she was getting a henna tattoo and was all pissed off about nothing) she comes across as an adorable member of the royal family who was having a very bad day, indeed.

Ability to Play Well With Others: For awhile, it was blondes versus brunettes — but even ditzy Sonja Morgan soon realized McCord was a terrible ally and kicked her out of her house (for her own good, she claimed) because she and husband Simon had embarrassed themselves at the Marriage Equality walk.

Personal Success/Goals: Worked in visual merchandising at Victoria's Secret for awhile. She's now the president of Aluxe Home, according to her LinkedIn page.

Snooze Factor: She wasn't the most boring Housewife, but she was one of the most boring Housewives of New York.

Overall Ranking: 45/78

44. Heather Thomson

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: Holla! Thomson left the show after three seasons because she no longer wanted to deal with the drama, but she never quite knew how to let it all roll off her back, either.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Dorinda called her out for not waiting for her so they could walk into a restaurant together, then decided it was a good idea to slam her on Twitter — instead of laughing off that nonsense, Thomson egged her on. Thomson allegedly called Bethenny Frankel a b*tch for not inviting Kristin Taekman to some silly brunch. Maybe they should swear off eating altogether because the Housewives and the sharing and breaking of bread don't mix.

Personal Success/Goals: She's the face and name behind Yummie, a collection of activewear, bras, and tanks.

Snooze Factor: She was no Aviva or LuAnn — but she left the show before putting everyone in a coma, so she gets extra points for knowing when to fold 'em.

Overall Ranking: 44/78

43. Porsha Williams

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Was there a person watching who didn't want to curl up and die when she allegedly accused Claudia Jordan of being a "has-been?" When she said Kenya Moore was jealous of her? It seems like everyone had it out for Williams.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Two words: assault charges. Moore was so freaked out by her behavior that she threatened to take her to court.

Personal Success/Goals: Former model. Decided to pursue a music career after the show and released a single called "Flatline." Right.

Snooze Factor: Too much crazy, not enough interesting crazy. For an explanation of the difference, refer to NeNe Leakes (you'll have to scrawl all the way down this list).

Overall Ranking: 43/78

42. Teresa Aprea

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: It should be against the Real Housewives rules to get to have a twin to help you fight all of your many, many battles. Aprea and Napolitano are like warrior princesses forever on a quest to cut through other's BS with their sword-like tongues. The whole rumor about her husband Rino allegedly cheating on her with her own mother obviously didn't help her anger issues.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Aprea is like Amber Marchese's junior high school bully. She was also quick to slam Teresa Giudice when she was at her lowest point and about to be sent to prison — she even allegedly accused Joe Giudice of cheating on her. Pot, kettle, black.

Personal Success/Goals: Runs several restaurants with her husband.

Snooze Factor: She's like a car horn constantly honking outside your bedroom window as you try to sleep.

Overall Ranking: 42/78

41. Carlton Gebbia

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: Wicca, spells, curses, blah, blah, blah.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Allegedly threatened to put a spell on Kyle Richards because she doesn't get along with her. Then, after confiding in poor Joyce Giraud about her intentions, didn't get the enthusiastic response she longed for, so she allegedly implied Joyce should watch her back, too.

Personal Success/Goals: Works with her husband on several business endeavors, including the development of high-end custom houses.

Snooze Factor: Her interesting beliefs and passionate spirit made her stand out for a little while, but her act got tiresome.

Overall Ranking: 41/78

40. Lizzie Rovsek

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Rovsek's drama pales in comparison with that of her costars, but she deserves a place in the almost top-40 of this list for inviting nutso drama into her life at all times because of her sensitive nature.

Ability to Play Well With Others: All of the women blew off her birthday party — every last one of them. Tamra Barney allegedly "accidentally" broadcasted her telephone number on social media. Seriously, everyone picks on this woman.

Personal Success/Goals: CEO of Sun Kitten Swimwear

Snooze Factor: Too vanilla.

Overall Ranking: 40/78

39. Sheree Whitfield

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: How high does this scale go again? So far above even that that Michael Lohan (Lindsay's dad) is present when fights do down.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She pulled Kim Zolciak's wig off her head outside of a restaurant — where, yes, Lohan was spotted and even witness NeNe Leakes looked concerned. Accused NeNe of taking money from her after a club promoter named Tyrone claimed she was stealing her business. Even had it out with poor Antony the Party Planner and let loose with the infamous line, "Who gonna check me, boo?"

Personal Success/Goals: Actress. Was hit with big-time tax lien after being fired from RHOA.

Snooze Factor: She stirred the pot, which was a fun thing to watch, but she always seemed to take fights far too seriously, whereas someone like Leakes had a wild good time with it all (and had way better comebacks).

Overall Ranking: 39/78

38. Lisa Hochstein

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: Her frenemy relationship with Joanna Krupa was borderline obsessive — for both of them.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Hochstein's life would have been so much less complicated if she and Krupa, who was once her BFF, just agreed to call their friendship over and move on with their lives. Instead, you've got Hochstein allegedly accusing Krupa of coming between Yolanda Foster and her husband and working as an escort. I mean, geez.

Personal Success/Goals: Former Playboy playmate.

Snooze Factor: She's likable enough to keep your attention.

Overall Ranking: 38/78

37. Heather Dubrow

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Dubrow really started coming into her own drama the moment several career opportunities suddenly presented themselves to her while she was on the show. You might say some of the other Housewives (cough, Tamra Barney) were jealous, but she wasn't exactly subtle about her success — not that she should have been.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Barney got pissed at her for offering to feature her fitness company on Good Day LA (which made no sense). Kicked Shannon Beador out of her house because she was acting emotionally imbalanced and Dubrow allegedly didn't want to expose her kids to the drama.

Personal Success/Goals: Actress. TV host.

Snooze Factor: Held her own amidst the crazy, which made her fun to watch.

Overall Ranking: 37/78

36. Carole Radziwell

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: The only person fit to fight with a princess is a countess — which is unfortunate because few people can win against LuAnn de Lesseps. Still, she holds her own.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Whether their similar pedigrees cause them to clash or they simply don't like the looks and sounds of each other, Radziwell (who is the closest thing America has to royalty) can't see eye-to-eye with de Lesseps (also royalty) and their back-and-forth drama is both delightful and disgusting to watch.

Personal Success/Goals: Journalist, author, and TV personality.

Snooze Factor: No snoozing here.

Overall Ranking: 36/78

35. Amber Marchese

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: She and her husband Jim Marchese are the most dramatic couple on the planet.

Ability to Play Well With Others: You're kidding, right? She and Teresa Aprea and Nicole Napolitano are constantly at each other's throats. When the other Housewives accuse you of using your cancer scare to get attention, you know you aren't loved. Oh, and her husband is a monstrous loon who think it's acceptable to insult the other Housewives' mothers.

Personal Success/Goals: Started Vici Fitness but has aspirations of becoming an actress.

Snooze Factor: I'm afraid if I fall asleep I"ll miss the part where Jim Marchese filets another Housewife and makes her cry.

Overall Ranking: 35/78

34. Yolanda Foster

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: In general, the epitome of class and good behavior who uses her publicity to bring awareness to Lyme disease. But she'll fight the good fight when necessary.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She gets an A for effort here, but isn't above putting someone in their place, like the time she ripped Lisa Vanderpump's husband Todd a new one for nosing in on their fight and then possibly touching her out of anger.

Personal Success/Goals: Model and interior designer.

Snooze Factor: She's awesome and brings a very different, Dutch energy to the show that these ladies need.

Overall Ranking: 34/78

33. Alexia Achevarria

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: The Cuban Barbie is interesting because the more sane she appears to the other Housewives, the more she gets picked on.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Lisa Hochstein claimed she was "boring" and called her out for not transforming herself into a boozy mess of a human in Las Vegas. Achevarria is the nice girl of the Miami group who lets it all slide off her back.

Personal Success/Goals: Executive editor for Venue Magazine.

Snooze Factor: What she lacked in excitement she made up for by coming across as a very real wife (albeit a ridiculously pretty one) with a career and an investment in her family. Still, she was only sort-of fun to watch because she didn't appear to be reading from a script.

Overall Ranking: 33/78

32. Eileen Davidson

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: The only insane thing about Davidson is that she thinks she can keep trying to make Brandi Glanville less insane.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She's functional, calm, sincere, and sweet. She and Glanville didn't get along, but she kept going back to the broken faucet and insisting it give her fresh water. You gotta admire her for it. Kim Richards called her a "beast," which was pretty funny because it said more about the state of Richards' mind than it did about Davidson.

Personal Success/Goals: She won an Emmy for her performance as Kristen DiMera on Days of Our Lives.

Snooze Factor: It's difficult to fall asleep watching someone who tries to see the good in others — especially when you have your doubts that the good actually exists.

Overall Ranking: 32/78

31. Dorinda Medley

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: Here's why Medley kicks ass: she gets totally annoyed when the women act like Ramona Singer killed a man instead of bringing a hot one back to their Turks & Caicos vacation home for a little fun, then decides to get all pissy with Heather Thomson for walking ahead of her into a restaurant. She's the woman who claims to hate drama while inviting it in through the back door — but there's something about her that makes you want to get to know her better.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She should probably learn to keep her fights off Twitter, where she seems to be most comfortable unleashing her claws.

Personal Success/Goals: Former owner of a lucrative cashmere business, now a philanthropist.

Snooze Factor: If she'd bring some of her Twitter game to the show, she'd be a thrill-a-minute ride. Still the potential is there and it's refreshing to get to know a NYC Housewife who isn't from NYC.

Overall Ranking: 31/78

30. Camille Grammar

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: You'd think Grammar's cancer battle and unsupportive husband would provide a world of drama, but she's great at dealing with her own crap and looking beyond herself to call others out on the secrets that are destroying their own lives.

Ability to Play Well With Others: No one liked Grammar — until she forced Taylor Armstrong to open her eyes and see that she was being abused by her husband. Then everyone respected her. Then, she got too carried away with her newfound popularity and, again, no one liked her. And then she was fired from the show. The end.

Personal Success/Goals: Model, actress, and dancer.

Snooze Factor: She had a really good season, but that wasn't enough to save her. She earns a high place on this list for attempting to help Armstrong (in her own unique way).

Overall Ranking: 30/78

29. Kenya Moore

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Moore is physically, mentally, and perhaps even spiritually incapable of escaping drama. It's her second skin. It's the air she breathes.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Let's see. She's been called a "whore" by Phaedra Parks, Moore accused her of sleeping with Mr. Chocolate, prompting Parks to try and punch her, and she has fought with Porsha Williams and NeNe Leakes.

Personal Success/Goals: Former Miss USA — other than that, she doesn't need a job.

Snooze Factor: Thank you, fates, for bringing Kenya Moore and all of her Gone With the Wind fabulosity to Atlanta. I could watch her for a million days.

Overall Ranking: 29/78

28. Joanna Krupa

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: Krupa is a Jackson Pollock painting came to life — a truly beautiful mess.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Basically, everyone thinks Krupa has slept with everyone else, which is the source of most of her strife. Adriana de Moura punched her at a charity event to raise money for breast cancer after allegedly accusing her and her sister of sleeping with Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. Breast cancer, you guys. Krupa then claimed she was going to sue Brandi Glanville, who isn't even on the same damn show, for slander, libel, defamation, and/or intentional infliction of emotional distress after Glanville reportedly said she slept with Yolanda Foster's husband Mohamed Hadid and that she has a smelly vagina. Holy hell.

Personal Success/Goals: Krupa is a successful model (like, for real) and has had bit parts in movies.

Snooze Factor: The nice thing about Krupa is that, unlike other model Housewives, she doesn't rely on her looks to be interesting. She also relies on a good dose of inner crazy, which makes her fun as hell to watch.

Overall Ranking: 28/78

27. Jill Zarin

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: I spent all of the first season of the show loving Zarin for being a straight-shooter who reminded me of my rich, bitchy aunt. Her ability to see past Bethenny Frankel's drama and accept her for who she was made my love for her even stronger. And then season three happened and drama ensued.

Ability to Play Well With Others: WTF, Zarin? You were Bethenny's buddy, but couldn't seem to be able to find a place in your heart for her after she found greater success. You made her cry. Oh, I hate the whole memory of it so much. In Zarin's defense, she claims Frankel lied about the role she played in helping her get famous. They just couldn't patch things up and allegedly Frankel even refused to return to the show unless producers could promise Zarin would be out. I'm not even going to go into details about Zarin's issues with Ramona Singer because, well, Ramona.

Personal Success/Goals: Real estate agent and a marketer for her husband's fabrics companies.

Snooze Factor: No sleep until they become BFF's again. They need each other.

Overall Ranking: 27/78

26. Kandi Burress

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Kandi Burress isn't the problem with her life — she's actually cool as hell. Everyone around her, from her mother to her husband Todd — they're the problem with her life.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She's a great person who doesn't deserve the people who seem to just want to control her and hold her back. Her feuds with the other Housewives, including NeNe Leakes, pale in comparison to the ridiculous drama between her and Mama Joyce and even her aunts.

Personal Success/Goals: Singer/songwriter and record producer.

Snooze Factor: Not sleepy, just waiting for Burress to cut the crazy from her life and focus on herself.

Overall Ranking: 26/78

25. Caroline Manzo

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: For five seasons, Manzo was the den mother who could whip the other women — even Teresa! — into shape with just a few words. She didn't cause drama, she faced it head on and pistol whipped it with her sass and good sense.

Ability to Play Well With Others: The Housewives respected Manzo because she was fair and honest. When all of the women were interviewed about Giudice's prison sentence, most of them responded about how sad it was, yada, yada. Manzo's perfect response: "Teresa like nice things, she's not going to deny it ... doesn't make her evil ... that's her thing."

Personal Success/Goals: Radio show host. Married to Albert Manzo, who is the co-owner of a successful event and catering venue called The Brownstone.

Snooze Factor: Loved watching her for a few seasons. Not sure if her spark fizzled or if the others dwarfed her with their mega-drama, but she quit the show at the perfect time.

Overall Ranking: 25/78

24. Adriana de Moura

Series: The Real Housewives of Miami

Drama Ranking: The secret surprise that she was already married to Frederic Marq when she got engaged to another man at the end of Season 2 was pretty dramatic, but nothing (nothing!) could come close to her ongoing feud with fellow beauty and bride-to-be Joanna Krupa.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Yeah, so I think I mentioned she punched Krupa. Then she reportedly told RadarOnline she did it out of self defense because the model was wagging her finger at her and allegedly verbally assaulting her.

Personal Success/Goals: Artsy.

Snooze Factor: She scores extra "exciting" points for being willing to lay someone out at a charity event, but that doesn't make her a good person, just a fascinating walking, talking, shouting firecracker.

Overall Ranking: 24/78

23. Jeana Keough

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Keough was one of the original Orange County Housewives and Vicki Gunvalson's good friend. She was also involved in one of the most epic fights in Housewives history.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She played well with most — with the exception of Barney and Gunvalson, who was supposed to be her BFF, but with whom she somehow started sharing a bizarre, on-again, off-again friendship. But let's focus on Barney, who likes wine and loved throwing a glass of it in Keough's face during a heated argument because she says she was hurt that Keough talked behind her back.

Personal Success/Goals: Real estate maven.

Snooze Factor: She's interesting enough to bring back to the show as a trial guest.

Overall Ranking: 23/78

22. Phaedra Parks

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Parks is dramatic, but it's all hilarious. Except for any drama involving her convict husband Apollo Nida, who is like a villain from a Marvel comic and who had to go.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She allegedly tried to punch Kenya Moore after she accused her of having an affair with an African prince named Chocolate. Cynthia Bailey allegedly thinks she's a liar. But she's totally misunderstood and is actually quirky, lovable, and slightly off her rocker, in the best possible way.

Personal Success/Goals: Entertainment attorney.

Snooze Factor: Oh my lord, she's great. Don't change, Phaedra.

Overall Ranking: 22/78

21. Adrienne Maloof

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: She's like a character in a fable — Maloof's attempt to hide the biggest drama in her life — the fact that she used a surrogate — only created a million times more drama when Brandi Glanville let that cat out of the bag. In a fair world, it would have resulted in everyone turning their backs against Glanville, but that ship had long sailed. It eventually led to Maloof's ultimate undoing: viewers felt like she wasn't being honest and had betrayed their trust.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Sure, Glanville was a total jerk for revealing Maloof's secret, but at least she gets the point of a reality TV show, which is (I think) to be as real as possible. Still, you have to feel for Maloof, who didn't want her son to find out about the surrogate from a reality star blabbermouth.

Personal Success/Goals: Shoe designer and businesswoman.

Snooze Factor: I felt for Maloof, but only to a certain point. She had the potential to tell a truly interesting story that could have helped other women, but she chose not to — she kinda had to go after that.

Overall Ranking: 21/78

20. Danielle Staub

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: All hail, the grand puba of drama. Toxic, poisonous, and the only Housewife who came close to playing the Road Runner to Teresa Giudice's Wile E. Coyote.

Ability to Play Well With Others: There were so many fights — this whole post could be about her fights — but the now-infamous table-flipping fight is the only one that truly matters. While fighting over a book called Cop Without a Badge, in which Staub was allegedly accused of being a prostitute, Staub told Giudice to "pay attention," which made her go absolutely bats*it crazy, flip the restaurant table, and call Staub a "stupid b*tch." A fair reaction, don't you think? No?

Personal Success/Goals: Forget her career. Her biggest success story had to be driving Giudice over the edge.

Snooze Factor: She was the living embodiment of a hand grenade.

Overall Ranking: 20/78

19. Kelly Bensimon

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: Bensimon would be OK one day and totally capable of flipping out the next — usually over some innocent or only slightly annoying remark passed by Bethenny Frankel.

Ability to Play Well With Others: The problem with Bensimon wasn't that she felt it difficult to get along with the other women or felt unhinged (everyone has moments like that), it was that she blamed her behavior in the Virgin Islands, for example, on "systematic bullying," as she told Andy Cohen, and refused to take responsibility for doing things like wigging out and screaming at everyone on what could have been a perfectly lovely vacation.

Personal Success/Goals: Former model and editor of Elle Accessories.

Snooze Factor: No one slept out of fear that Bensimon would cut off their hair in the middle of the night. Still, she was fascinating to watch (and I hope she's feeling a lot better now that she's off the show).

Overall Ranking: 19/78

18. Dina Manzo

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: The only reason Dina Manzo ranked slightly higher on this list than her sister Caroline is because of one epic sliver of drama involving Amber Marchese and her husband Jim.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Jim allegedly slammed Teresa Aprea and Nicole Napolitano's mother while staying over at Manzo's house, then woke up the next day and made bacon and eggs like all was right in the world again. In walks Manzo, still wearing her Pajamas and, in the kindest way possible, asks Jim and Amber to F-off. And it's a thing of beauty.

Personal Success/Goals: Runs a design and event planning company.

Snooze Factor: No zzz's here. Manzo is gold.

Overall Ranking: 18/78

17. Kim Zolciak-Biermann

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Forget NeNe and the others. Zolciak claimed she had a cancer scare and that was the reason she wore wigs — then told Andy Cohen it wasn't actually cancer. Oops!?

Ability to Play Well With Others: Was there a single day she got along with NeNe Leakes? An hour, even? Sheree Whitfield pulled off her wig during a big, stupid brawl on an Atlanta sidewalk. Even Kandi Burress, who was like her only sort-of friend and wrote a song for her, severed all ties with Zolciak after she refused to cut her a share of the royalties.

Personal Success/Goals: (Crickets chirping).

Snooze Factor: Sleep? And miss all of her drama? Not a chance. You never knew what you'd find out about Zolciak (she was a nurse? She'd go on to marry "Big Poppa?") and her departure from the show leaves a big ole hole in it.

Overall Ranking: 17/78

16. Melissa Gorga

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: Cut her some slack, she's married to Teresa Giudice's brother. Drama was written into her wedding vows.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Gorga's biggest issues were always with her sister-in-law, but she never let the nonsense get in the way of defending her family when necessary. To boot, when Dina Manzo was allegedly talking smack about Jacqueline Laurita, Gorga was quick to defend her and showed compassion for the stress she faces having an autistic son.

Personal Success/Goals: Singer. Defender of the title of Perfect Body Forever and Ever.

Snooze Factor: Half a yawn, but her heart and adorable relationship with husband Joe make me fight to stay awake.

Overall Ranking: 16/78

15. Lisa Rinna

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: Fairly high, but not surprisingly so, given her successful acting career and the fact that most of her rage is directed at Kim Richards, who could piss off a butterfly.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Rinna called Richards a "whackadoodle." She was either concerned or annoyed (or both) by Richards' drinking and was never afraid to call her out on it, which angered Richards to no end. But all hell really broke loose in Amsterdam, after Richards snapped, threatened to reveal a secret about Rinna's husband Harry Hamlin, and inspired Rinna to throw a glass at her and send her a series of batty text messages.

Personal Success/Goals: Starred in Days of Our Lives and Melrose Place.

Snooze Factor: Snooze? No way — she's awesomely entertaining.

Overall Ranking: 15/78

14. Aviva Drescher

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: She threw her prosthetic leg at her cast mates during an argument at Le Cirque.

Ability to Play Well With Others: I repeat: She threw her prosthetic leg at her cast mates during an argument at Le Cirque. And she didn't just throw it, she then put her actions into context by saying, "The only thing artificial or fake about me is this!" Shakespeare would have been delighted.

Personal Success/Goals: Author.

Snooze Factor: Drescher was fired after two seasons, not I suspect because of the drama she had the potential of bringing to the show, but because she was like the student who always cut class. She was seldom there.

Overall Ranking: 14/78

13. Brandi Glanville

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: Every show has a Brandi Glanville — RHOBH has two: Kim Richards and Brandi Glanville. Whether you blame her drinking or her for her outrageous behavior, Glanville always outdoes herself when it comes to the drama she brings to the table.

Ability to Play Well With Others: From day one, Glanville made it clear she wasn't about to be bullied by anyone — and she directed that message straight at Kyle and Kim Richards after Kim hid her crutches five minutes after meeting her. Glanville's feud with Kyle has been ongoing and she has also allegedly had issues with both Lisa Rinna and Lisa Vanderpump, the latter of whom she accidentally slapped (and it was awkward as hell).

Personal Success/Goals: Former model. Author.

Snooze Factor: She's a regular wild card. No sleeping allowed.

Overall Ranking: 13/78

12. Gretchen Rossi

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Junior High. Seventh grade. Except for the part where she proposed to Slade Smiley — those were the actions of a very progressive seventh grader.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Was friends with Tamra Barney for six seconds until they decided they hate each other and Rossi alegedly called her a "sociopath." Rossi hit even farther below the belt by allegedly spewing some nonsense about how Barney cares more about Real Housewives than she does her kids. Who says that?

Personal Success/Goals: Former real estate agent and model.

Snooze Factor: The only reason Rossi made it this high on the list is because she is a royal pain in Barney's ass and because Slade Smiley is too slimy and perfect to be a real person.

Overall Ranking: 12/78

11. Kyle Richards

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: You expect a Housewife to have drama with another Housewife. You don't expect her to feud so hard with her own flesh and blood that you strongly suggest the show's producers require they produce their birth certificates to prove they're actually related.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Clearly, Kyle and Kim Richards have issues that stem way the hell back. After Kim allegedly accused Kyle of stealing her house, Kyle allegedly responded by letting the world know her sister is an alcoholic. Those two remarks don't inhabit the same planet.

Personal Success/Goals: Writer and philanthropist.

Snooze Factor: She's an Ice Queen. A total Elsa. You stay awake in hopes that she'll end the eternal winter that is her fractured relationship with Kim.

Overall Ranking: 11/78

10. Kim Richards

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: Kim Richards has to come directly after Kyle because they are interchangeable and can't get the hell out of each other's way. It's difficult to say whether Richards' drama is the direct result of her drinking or if she's a natural drama queen. Either way, the drama is real.

Ability to Play Well With Others: What began as a little sibling rivalry (okay, a lot of sibling rivalry) quickly devolved into a situation in which Kim's dog allegedly attacked Kyle's child — I mean, it's all too bonkers for words. Richards' battle with Rinna is out of control, as is the way she dragged poor Eileen Davidson into the mess.

Personal Success/Goals: Richards is reportedly in rehab. If she can beat her demons, she can hopefully return to the show and live a brand new, fabulous life in which she begins to repair all of the friendships and ties she destroyed. You've got this, girl.

Snooze Factor: I don't even want to blink my eyes when she's on the screen.

Overall Ranking: 10/78

9. Vicki Gunvalson

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: She hates everyone and everything. Except for her boyfriend Brooks, who is hated by everyone else. Basically, she knows how to separate flowers from weeds and shows loyalty to those who deserve it.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Omg, the '80s party. Slade Smiley calling her ugly. Gunvalson attacking Gretchen Rossi and making her pay for it while the two are dressed like Cyndi Lauper. Her ongoing battle with Tamra Barney, with whom she is at odds over her lack of support for Brooks.

Personal Success/Goals: She's an original Orange County Housewife and she's damn proud of it.

Snooze Factor: Gunvalson is a kick in the pants when you sleep in too late. She's also a fan favorite because she puts everything out there, warts and all, and has proven she is a compassionate friend and daughter — and that she's too seasoned to deal with fake people.

Overall Ranking: 9/78

8. Tamra Barney

Series: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Drama Ranking: Of course she's dramatic. Her marriage to Simon has fallen apart, he's trying to keep her daughter away from her, she's got everyone from frenemy Vicki Gunvalson to enemy Gretchen Rossi slamming her, and even Nancy freaking Grace decided to weigh in on her parenting skills. Lay off of her, already!

Ability to Play Well With Others: I'm guessing the sandbox at whatever playground Barney visited as a child was hers, all hers. She thinks nothing of throwing a drink in Jeana Keough's face. Even an innocent game of Shag, Marry, Kill is a perfectly legitimate reason to draw blood in her world. Barney opened that can of worms at Gunvalson's dinner party. There was no other explanation for that lunacy.

Personal Success/Goals: Fitness professional.

Snooze Factor: If Barney had her own show and that show played on repeat every second of the day, no one would ever sleep again.

Overall Ranking: 8/78

7. Teresa Giudice

Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Drama Ranking: Her name is synonymous with drama. You can just say "Stop being so Teresa Giudice," and everyone on earth will know what you mean.

Ability to Play Well With Others: I'm not sure if going to prison for tax fraud, where one can at least rest their vocal cords, is better or worse than having to deal with some of the BS Giudice has dealt with (and happily orchestrated) during her tenure on the show. From flipping tables because Danielle Staub is a "prostitution whore" to throwing Andy Cohen into a chair to feuding with her own sister-in-law for most of the series, Giuidice needs no introduction.

Personal Success/Goals: If she ever had a job, I've forgotten what it was. Nor do I care. Her job is being awesome.

Snooze Factor: If Giudice doesn't come back to the show after being released from prison, I plan on boycotting Bravo. Not really, but does that answer the question about whether she's capable of putting anyone to sleep?

Overall Ranking: 7/78

6. Sonja Morgan

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: Right now, you're probably calling BS on the fact that Sonja Morgan placed higher than Teresa Giudice. There's one reason for that: she has vowed to fight "Mean Girls" for as long as she's on the show. She is amazing. So that's two reasons.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Let's get this out of the way: Sonja likes a drink or two or three. Her drinking is the cause of much debate and concern among the Housewives and it may be the reason she continues to battle with Bethenny Frankel and (sometimes) Ramona Singer — who allegedly thinks she sleeps with too many men (oh, so what if she does). Morgan sometimes puts her foot in her mouth, is often annoying and loud, but is so darn lovable and kooky that you can't help but forgive her for any drama she starts.

Personal Success/Goals: Former model who worked in fashion marketing.

Snooze Factor: She's great — who's asleep?

Overall Ranking: 6/78

5. Lisa Vanderpump

Series: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Drama Ranking: Low. She only pulls out the drama card after much contemplation and reflection over a cup of tea. Why? Because Lisa Vanderpump is cool and classy and the ultimate Boss of all Housewives.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Technically, Vanderpump started the ongoing feud with Brandi Glanville by hiring her ex's mistress to work at one of her restaurants, but jeez, that was years ago and no one can seem to get past it. Glanville is loud and vocal about her hatred for Vanderpump, but the Brit is biding her time and slowly destroying Glanville, one icy glance at a time.

Personal Success/Goals: Successful restaurant designer.

Snooze Factor: I can't sleep when she's on screen because I'm secretly studying her. Because I secretly want to be her. You do too — admit it!

Overall Ranking: 5/78

4. NeNe Leakes

Series: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Drama Ranking: Her faces. Her confessionals. Oh my lord, her many fights. NeNe Leakes was a tough nut to crack but she was a nut worth cracking — and she was RHOA.

Ability to Play Well With Others: If Leakes didn't like someone, she knew about it before she opened her mouth to say "hello." She famously feuded with Kim Zolciak and threatened to toss her out of a window, even though they should be teaming up to create the most successful sitcom and superhero duo in history. And she threatened to press charges (though she was probably joking) against Kenya Moore after Moore expressed her anger that Leakes wanted to invite her ex to an event. For better or worse, Leakes is an unforgettable figure.

Personal Success/Goals: Landed roles on Broadway and TV. One of the most successful Housewives of all time.

Snooze Factor: Leakes is Adderall mixed with Ritalin mixed with Red Bull and 14 cups of espresso.

Overall Ranking: 4/78

3. LuAnn de Lesseps

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: LuAnn de Lesseps is fantastic because she wants to be cool — and she's usually super cool — but there's a hint of insecurity (just a hint) beneath her royal facade that the other Housewives can't help but pick up on at times and use to their advantage.

Ability to Play Well With Others: de Lesseps delivered the quote of the century on the group's Turks and Caicos trip, one that somehow sums her up perfectly: "Be cool. Don't be all ... uncool." She's usually the voice of reason, and gets extra points for defending Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan and for acknowledging the yummy yoke beneath their slightly cracked eggs. But she comes across as a little haughty for some, particularly Heather Thomson, who allegedly thinks she's a total narcissist who starts fights for the sake of staying relevant on the show.

Personal Success/Goals: She's done it all: former nurse who worked with the elderly, successful model, and author. Married Count Alexandre de Lesseps and, although their marriage didn't work out, she got to keep the cool title of Countess.

Snooze Factor: Maybe she tries too hard, but at the end of the day, de Lesseps is always striving to elevate the New York ladies and keep the show classy (as much as that's possible). And, for that reason, she deserves a place at the top of the list.

Overall Ranking: 3/78

2. Bethenny Frankel

Series: The Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: For someone who claims to hate drama, the BS certainly follows her everywhere she goes. Frankel sometimes reminds one of a cute little bumblebee buzzing just a little close to your head and then stinging when you have the mind to swat at it.

Ability to Play Well With Others: Frankel gets extra points for being an original cast member who went missing for three seasons and has reappeared in Season 7, where she is developing a close connection with Ramona Singer. In the past, she pissed off Kelly Bensimmon and even broke ties with Jill Zarin, who was her closest confidante for awhile. She likes to keep it real, which is another way of saying she refuses to invite housewives like Heather Thomson and Kristen Taekman to her birthday party because they're not really her friends. At the end of the day though, she isn't causing drama for drama's sake. This is who she is — love her or hate her.

Personal Success/Goals: Thanks to Frankel, women can stay skinny and get drunk — what more does one need out of life? She studied to become a chef, ran Bethennybakes, and is now the mogul behind Skinnygirl alcoholic beverages.

Snooze Factor: She's insanely interesting to watch.

Overall Ranking: 2/78

1. Ramona Singer

Series: Real Housewives of New York

Drama Ranking: It was off the freaking charts before her divorce from Mario — I don't even know what to say about it now. Her drama is un-chartable — but, at the same time, it's an emotional drama, and not an explosive, I'll-kill-everyone-you-know-and-love drama. Major difference.

Ability to Play Well With Others: She's known as one of the biggest troublemakers on the show and has a knack for starting nonsense wherever she goes. She has fought with ever single housewife and can roll into a party and insult someone like Kristen Taekman (which takes commitment) in a matter of seconds. She is fully invested in seeing the worst in every situation — it's a talent for her — but she's also quick to try and recognize the good in others. You dislike her for a second, and then you're over it.

Personal Success/Goals: No one can mess with her here. Singer has a business degree from the Fashion Institute for Design and Merchandise, her own company called RMS, Inc., experience as a buyer for Macy's, two jewelry lines, and a skincare line called Tru Renewal.

Snooze Factor: There's no sleeping when Singer is on screen. There's only the clenching of your fists as you wait for the train wreck to commence. But she's also hilarious and lovable. And the number one best housewife in Real Housewives history.

Overall Ranking: 1/78

Images: Bravo