I've been floating in a void of life since the Southern Charm Season 2 finale aired. I keep up with the cast on social media — seriously, what did people do before Instagram? JK. — but it's not the same. I want to see Craig and Shep fight over Craig's party habits. I want to see Kathryn and Thomas be the most cringeworthy couple ever. The Southern Charm relationships are everything this show has going for it. And the drama. How could we forget the drama?
Over the two seasons, friendships have been formed, friendships have been strained. Relationships have gone from good to bad, back to good, to OK, to really bad, to damn confusing (guess who?). Because this show is chock full of all different types of couples and relationships, it seems only natural to rank them from worst to best.
The following list is made up of relationships that can be measured on a scale 1 to badass. Some couples are completely badass while other's flop like Thomas' "Raise the Roof" campaign ad. (Don't forget about that ad. Never forget about that ad.) So without further ado...
7. Thomas & The South Carolinian People
Badass Scale: Unrequited love.
Ranking Explained: Thomas earned 3 percent of the votes for Senate. I think it's safe to say this couple is not badass.
6. Kathryn & Thomas
Badass Scale: One way ticket on the Struggle Bus.
Ranking Explained: These two are like Romeo and Juliet, except they're not at all.
5. Shep & Craig
Badass Scale: Cory & Shawn from Boy Meets World, with a lot more arguing.
Ranking Explained: These two would probably do anything for each other, but this season they spent a lot of time bickering. Not badass.
4. Patricia & Whitney
Badass Scale: Stay on their good side.
Ranking Explained: While these two are pretty badass because they're probably the most intimidating mother/son duo on TV, but they also bully people so...
3. Landon & Shep
Badass Scale: Are they badass or a great couple? Or both?
Ranking Explained: Landon and Shep float in the middle of the badass scale because while I think they are pretty great together, it might just be because I can't separate my 'shipping heart's desire with my badass couple heart's desire.
2. Cameran & Craig
Badass Scale: #FriendshipGoals.
Ranking Explained: They're awesome together. When Craig forgets his wallet and is hungover, Cameran buys him McDonalds. Isn't this the type of friendship we all hope to find in life?
1. Patricia & Her Martini
Badass Scale: Basically superhero badasses.
Ranking Explained: You want to talk about a badass couple that should never be messed with? Then look no further. Patricia and her martini go together like Thor and his hammer.
Images: Charles Sykes/Bravo; Giphy (7)