Watch These People Get Vajazzled For The First Time And Learn That Glitter Is Pain — VIDEO

Listen, I'm not here to tell anyone how to live their life. Especially not the parts of it as personal and so far from my business as how one chooses to groom (or not groom) their bathing suit area. I mean, if you wanna steam your vagina, then you should totally do that. So when three BuzzFeed staffers go on camera to get vajazzled for the first time, I really can't throw shade. I can, however, be so confused.

Please recall that we have Jennifer Love Hewitt to thank for making vagina-styling a known "thing." In 2010, she told George Lopez all about how a crummy breakup inspired her to adorn her lady bits in a way that allowed them to "shine like a disco ball." You know what? That's JLH's truth, so I support that. But if you missed this whole phenom five years ago, allow me to explain succinctly: Once your general underside is completely bare, a trained professional or insanely close friend then glues gems to your skin. There you go. You wanted to know.

As if the wax weren't painful enough, I can't imagine the discomfort of gluing hard objects to such tender skin. Luckily, I will never have to experience this firsthand. But! We can get a pretty good idea of what it's like when these three brave people go in to report.

Note that two of the participants have never even had a wax before — and that part is crucial for the whole thing to work. Everyone seemed pretty nervous at first. Which is fair.

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That looks like a fairly calm face for such an insane concept. I mean, OK, it's not insane. It's a thing which I know tons of women do with regularity. Which is fine! It's just ... I am in the same boat as this woman. And it is a boat I'll feel comfortable in forever, probably.

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So how did everyone fare?

Lasting effects

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Yeah ... what a way to start your day — with a glitter-encrusted vajayjay.

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Word. I'm sure that the end result of a sparkly groin is appealing visually, but I can't imagine how it feels for you and/or your partner in action ("while doing it"). I once had a boyfriend shave and not maintain his ~area~ and that slow growth was like freaking sandpaper. Yuck.

See the whole upsetting investigation below:

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Images: YouTube(4); Giphy