10 Lessons You Can Learn From Past Relationships

by Allison McCarthy

If you’ve ever picked apart the details of a failed relationship in your journal or with friends or on a message board, the hashtag #LastRelationshipTaughtMe is for you. At the end of every romance, there are almost always clear signs that it’s time for a break-up. Deep down, you know that it’s coming. In his 2012 novel This is How You Lose Her, Junot Díaz perfectly describes the impending sense of heartbreak: “And that's when I know it's over. As soon as you start thinking about the beginning, it's the end.”

So what do we take away from the end of a romantic relationship? For some, it’s a sense of righteous anger – our exes have wronged us and we will have the last word, we will have justice, we will have our day and we will make them pay. For others, the end is a period of quiet reflection, a chance to re-center our lives and remember the people we were before we met our former beloveds. Advice columnist Carolyn Hax wrote that “Whatever stuff about your ex is lingering in your mind needs to be held up to the light, so you can see the reality of it, vs the emotional memory.” If my #LastRelationshipTaughtMe anything, it’s that life always moves forward – and so would I. Here are some of the best lessons that Twitter users learned from their last relationships:

1. The length of a relationship doesn't mean it's the right fit.

2. Hard times show who you really are.

3. Fate isn't always what you think it is.

We don't know what the future holds, but we still try to predict anyway. But sometimes it's just not what we think it's going to be.

4. Make sure your partner has squared away their past.

If they talk about their ex non-stop, if they bring up the person every chance they get -- they're not over them. You get a sinking feeling every time they mention so-and-so. Aren't you tired of hearing about someone who isn't even around anymore? And why would you want to be with someone who isn't over their last love? If they aren't, they'll never have room in their heart for you.

5. Show how much you appreciate and love the one you're with.

It's all about the little things. Flowers for no reason. Breakfast in bed. An extra kiss before you head out to work. Over time, those are the things in a relationship that we end up remembering most. Those are the signs of affection that make us feel most cherished.

6. Crossing the line always means something.

7. Don't ever let anyone abuse you.

8. Keep a sense of humor and perspective.

9. Don't fall in love with a concept; fall in love with a person.

10. Don't forget the good times.

Images: Alejandra Quiroz/Unsplash; Giphy (3-5)

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