Tinder can be a very weird place, so why not test the limits of its weirdness? For a few days, I used only Donald Trump quotes on the dating app to see how the opposite sex would respond (and if they even noticed). Of course, Trump is notorious for saying dumb and incredibly offensive things, and now that he's actually running for president, everything Trump says is being scrutinized more than normal. I figured: Why not use his quotes on the unsuspecting public and see what they think?
I was a little worried about sending strangers the overtly racist Trump-isms, but I figured that, like Trump, I had to go all in. I used my regular Tinder account so my Trump victims wouldn't see it coming, even though my bio says I'm a writer (it also says I'm from the south, FYI, so that's why a few responses mention that).
Hoping to get a lot of matches to test out the Trump quotes on, I started swiping right on everyone, and quickly realized that if you're a human woman with a pulse, you will match with at least 75 percent of men on Tinder. Needless to say, I got way more matches than I knew what to do with.
Nothing Trump says can be construed as sexy at all, so using his quotes on a dating app was pretty tricky. Don't believe me?
"What's your stance on ISIS?"
The first reaction to a Trump-ism was way more serious than I expected. Is ISIS really a good conversation topic for a dating app? He lightened up a bit after my (er, Trump’s) rant about America’s lack of victories though.
"I will build you one of the biggest ballrooms in the world."
Let’s not get off topic here — we’re obviously on Tinder to discuss job creation. He must have been disappointed that I didn’t send him a ten-point jobs plan because he stopped responding.
"The beauty of me is that I'm very rich."
This guy was trying really hard to turn Trump’s quotes into a sexy conversation. I thought saying “I have a great relationship with the blacks” would scare him off, but it didn’t even phase him. The lesson here is that men will ignore a lot of strange and offensive comments.
"I'm in competition with them."
If you really want to scare a guy away, just start talking about how you’re in competition with Islamic terrorists — it does the trick every time. Honestly, I would have lost a little respect for the whole male race if he kept trying after that quote.
"I have a great relationship with the blacks"
He by far had the best response to a Trump-ism — short and to the point. He also perfectly summed up how I feel about Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.
"When Mexico sends its people..."
This guy didn’t seem to care that I totally ignored his question. At first I thought he was attempting to stand up for Mexicans, but his taco comment was tinged with racism. Ugh.
"That's called history."
Bravo sir, you figured me out. I also love the term “Trumpanese” and will be using it from now on.
"We have stupid people."
I have to give this guy some credit for opening with more than “Hi” and actually asking about something on my profile, but he wasn’t quick to catch on to my game.
"I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created."
He knew something wasn’t normal, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it. I definitely wouldn’t want Trump quotes on my fridge, or anywhere in my house for that matter.
"I always insist on being politically correct."
You can always count on Tinder to be unexpectedly entertaining. This guy tried to out-weird me, and he won.
"I have so many websites."
He couldn’t out-do me for long though, and he quickly got confused. I can’t blame him though — most of what Trump says is pretty confusing.
"We have nobody in Washington."
This poor guy was having a happy Friday until I ruined it with my Trumpanese talk, but he seemed interested in what prices were being raised thanks to the schmucks in Washington.
"Things constantly change."
The infamous Mexico quote finally tipped him off and a light bulb went off in his head.
"Do you want a cookie?"
I waited a while to respond to this guy because his first response was so creepy, but Trump pretending not to attack Bette Midler creeped him out even more.