Sometimes something happens that just really reminds you of the rapid speed at which we all hurtle towards death. Like the fact that on Tuesday, the New Horizons reached Pluto, a mission it started more than nine years ago. Or the fact that Bug Hall, the actor who played Alfalfa in The Little Rascals in 1994, has been pouring a bevy of selfies into the Internet machine where he has the beard of a full-grown man and now they are going viral. BuzzFeed gave the former Alfalfa away on Monday, calling him a "lumbersexual," which makes me a little uncomfortable because this dude is a former LITTLE RASCAL. But dang, I must say, that is one insane beard. And what would Buckwheat, Porky, and Uh Huh think about this extreme facial hair?
The beard is jarring. The beard is full. The beard is practically self-aware — since the BuzzFeed post blew up, Hall, now 30 years old, tweeted a photo from Rockefeller Center acknowledging the frenzy around his facial hair. "I guess weird stuff is happening this morning," he said, with a photo of his beard at its Grizzly Man-iest. Surely the He-Man Woman Haters would be proud of the rugged beard that Bug Hall has managed to sprout. But what about his sweetheart, Darla?
Alfalfa Would Have Trouble Believing It
Gonna have to buy some beard gel along with that hair mousse.
Porky & Buckwheat Would Think It Was Ohhhhh-Tay
They're laid back.
Spanky Would See $$$ In His Eyes
But in a good way. You know, it's the kind of thing that you could make a buck off of.
Stymie Would Think It Was A Bit Much
He prefers a clean-cut, professional look.
Darla would not be happy at first...
"Boys, Ew," Was My First Thought As Well
Run a comb through that beard, Bug!
But Eventually, Darla Would Come Around
Because Alfalfa was, after all, her Romeo. And she was always able to accept his less-than-average hair in the past. Why not now?
Images: Universal Pictures; Giphy (7)