It's Klaus Vs. The World On 'The Originals'

Before The Originals went on its brief hiatus, Rebekah and Marcel thought they could overthrow Klaus. Rebekah and Marcel. Versus Klaus. HAHA. Whew! Now THAT was a fun thought to entertain. Glad post-hiatus The Originals is grounded in reality. A reality in which Marcel and Rebekah CAN'T BEAT KLAUS. As far as I'm concerned, the only person capable of thwarting Klaus is Caroline Forbes. Rebekah and Marcel aren't evil or powerful enough to beat Klaus. Won't happen. To quote En Vogue, they're "never gonna get it, never gonna get it, whoa-oh-ohhh!"

There's a lot of scheming this week. Klaus plots against Marcel, Marcel and Rebekah plot against Klaus, and the three finally meet up in Marcel's giant stairwell/courtyard hangout spot. Klaus asks for the Original dagger, Rebekah creeps out of the shadows, and Marcel hands her the Original dagger. Klaus is like, "Typical. So typical." And then Marcel calls in all of his Nightwalker cronies. Klaus sets a coin on the ground and says the first Nightwalker to grab it and pledge their allegiance to Klaus will live. He also says he'll be forever indebted to the allegiance pledger. Any takers? Any takers? Anyone. Nope. No takers.

If Klaus sets a coin on the ground and says he won't kill whoever picks it up, it might be in your best interest to be the one to snag the coin. Because, as we learn during Tuesday night's episode, as long as that coin is on the floor, Klaus will keep brutally slaughtering Nightwalkers. Chains cannot stop Klaus. Like, Klaus's eyes will literally change colors, he will bust out of the shackles, and he will kill all of the vampires. Rebekah pleads with Marcel to pick up the coin in order to save his own life. Marcel picks up the coin and begrudgingly pledges his allegiance to Klaus. Klaus is the new reigning vampire king of New Orleans. Marcel's buddies are dead. The "Capture Klaus" plan is a total bust.

While Klaus is gloating about his fresh king status, Marcel tries to knock the wind out of his sails by reminding Klaus that no one loves Klaus. No one will ever be as loyal to King Klaus as they were to King Marcel. Basically, Marcel tells Klaus that his insides are made of boogers and loogies. I think Klaus is a mean old meanie, but I do feel a little sorry for him.

Back at the house, Klaus confronts Elijah and Rebekah about their respective betrayals. He's upset that Rebekah and Elijah believe Tyler's story over Klaus'. He cries. He's pissed that Elijah is turning Hayley and the unborn hybrid-hybrid against him. He's pissed that Rebekah would side with Marcel over her own brother. His actual words: "I make no excuses for past sins, but in the one moment when you two could have chosen to stand by me, to believe in me, believe my intentions for my own child were pure, you chose to stand against me — to side with my enemies." Oof. Klaus just hitting us with the feelings! He relinquishes the Original dagger over to Elijah and leaves.

Klaus goes outside and sees Hayley sitting out on the doorstep. Klaus looks at her and is like, "That hybrid-hybrid is the only thing I care about, so go get in that car right now. I dare you to try and step to me, werewolf." Hayley does not try and step to him. She gets into the car. And that's how the episode ends.

I'm on Team Klaus now. That's what happens when you join forces with Tyler Lockwood, Rebekah and Marcel. You lose my support. Take note.

Image: Bob Mahoney/The CW