Entertainment

What If The 'Friends' Were On 'Game Of Thrones'?

by Lindsey Kupfer

Your two favorite worlds are about to collide with one simple question: What would happen if the cast of Friends were thrown into Game of Thrones? Well, to be honest, probably not great things, but we can get very creative with who would survive for how long and who would probably get killed off pretty quickly. Thankfully I have seen every episode of Friends on repeat about a hundred times, so I can venture some pretty accurate outcomes for how each of the Friends would do in Game of Thrones.

While Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Monica, and Chandler have been lucky enough to ward off danger in New York (except that time Phoebe mugged Ross), the Friends have never experienced what it would be like to be in actual danger. By actual danger I mean the blood bath that is Game of Thrones. For instance how would Joey handle a confrontation with the mountain? Could Monica scheme her way passed Cersei Lannister’s games? Would Ross get killed trying to make peace between Daenerys and the Sons of The Harpy? There are so many questions that need to be answered. By the way, in real life they would all die before they even ate their first meal in Westeros, but let’s pretend that isn't super likely for a moment.

Rachel Green

Rachel Green wouldn't last long in the game for the Iron Throne. We know that Rachel has a history of making very bad choices — you know, like that time she went to crash Ross' wedding. Her decision-making skills are so bad, that at one point she had Monica make her choices for her. According to Phoebe, she’s also a pushover. If we’ve learned anything in Game of Thrones, looks probably won’t get you far. Rachel would probably just give up and get over the games before she got close to the throne.

Ross Gellar

Have you ever noticed Ross’ terrible luck? He over-whitened his teeth; he counted mississippilessly and messed up his tan lines; he took off leather jeans only for them to shrink before he could get them back on; and someone ate his moist maker sandwich. No offense, but even Sam Tarly would take Ross out for being annoying all the time. I imagine Ross to die like Lysa Arryn did, right out the moon door.

Joey Tribbiani

Joey may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but if he had to save a naked woman or needed to murder someone to get to the closest food joint, I am pretty positive Joey would get it done. In fact, if all of his fights took place when someone interrupted his two pizza lunch with a meatball sub on the side, no one would stand a chance. Realistically though, if Joey was in Westeros, we would find him at one of Littlefinger’s “establishments" and call it a day.

Phoebe Buffay

I would put my money on Phoebe to take the Iron Throne. She’s mysterious and has a wild past of living on the streets. She’s the only one with real life experience to handle the crazy people in Kings Landing. According to Joey, She’s got a manic temper, but knows how to remain calm when she needs to. She’s flakey, but never makes any promises she can’t keep (unless David’s in town). And while she’s sometimes weird and off a little bit, she knows when to throw down. See: "GIVE ME YOUR MONEY, PUNK!"

Monica Gellar

Alright, as much as I would like to say that Monica would win the Game of Thrones, it’s her constant need to win that would be her downfall. It’s her sickness and while Monica would definitely stay alive, Phoebe would outsmart her in the end. I mean, you’ve seen what she’s like during a simple ping pong match... imagine that energy in a duel.

Chandler Bing

Chandler may be wimpy when it comes to physical activity and his knowledge of ESPN, but never underestimate a witty person. If we have learned anything from Tyrion Lannister it’s that a clever person can usually talk their way out of death. But Chandler's no Tyrion, so it's a good thing he has Monica to protect him: Monica would absolutely forbid him to die.

...And Gunther

Gunther — who's clearly a Targaryen, because you don't get that hair without dragon's blood — would stay alive, not because he's smart, but because no one even noticed he was still there. Poor Gunther.

And in case you were wondering what this looks like the other way around…

Luckily, our Friends managed to get out New York City alive and without any soul-crushing murder.

Images: Warner Bros. Television/Screenshot; Giphy (7)