Cheese is pure and blissful love. Cheese is everything magnificent in this world, and it comes in a flavorful, dairy-based package. Cheese is even better than a best friend or significant other. A grand claim to make? Sure, but it holds true. Because it just doesn't get any better than the overwhelming satisfaction of sinking your teeth into a hunk of cheese, does it? Nope, didn't think so.
It's nice to have supportive human beings in your inner circle who adore and guide you through life's obstacles. But I honestly think I could get by with zero human contact and an abundance of cheese in its place. Humans have extremely unique personalities, different views and opinions, and they all have their own stuff going on at all times. Cheese does not. Mainly because it's an edible object and not a person, but still, its availability cannot be matched. You need a shoulder to cry on? Cheese will be there. You need a boost of energy to get through your day? Cheese will make you feel whole again. Cheese is always at your disposal, when you need it most. Here are all the reasons cheese is better than a best friend.
1. Cheese doesn't mind being the third wheel
Sometimes you just want to go out with your best friend and your better half, but if your bestie is single, it's hard convincing her to be the third wheel, even if you're a chill couple who doesn't make onlookers sick with extreme PDA. But a plate of cheese is more than happy to sit there with you and your person while you snack and whisper sweet lines to each other.
2. Cheese goes wherever you go
Whether it's in the form of string, cubed, grilled on bread, or drizzled all over pasta, cheese can be a wonderful on-the-go treat. Your best friend might not be available to run boring errands with you, but cheese will gladly tag along in a ziplock baggie tucked inside your purse. And even if you don't pack it with you, you can surely find cheese wherever you go.
3. Cheese will celebrate with you, and will dry your tears — forever
What do you want to eat when you're sad? Cheese. What do you want to eat when you're in the mood to celebrate? Cheese. Case closed.
4. Cheese will always take your side
You had a fight with a coworker or a boyfriend that you can't seem to shake? Cheese has your back. And because it can't talk, there's no chance you'll be told to "calm down" or to "think about it from their side."
5. Cheese goes with everything
Your BFFs, no matter how wonderful they are, won't always be in the mood to do what you want to do. And sometimes you want to be alone and just do your own thing. Well, no matter what that thing is, cheese goes with it. Cheese goes with everything, and makes everything (even life) taste better.
6. Cheese is happy to skip a night out and just veg with you
When your friends are dying for a night out, and you just want to lounge in sweatpants and watch reruns of Seinfeld, guess who is more than willing to join the veg sesh? That's right — CHEESE.
7. Cheese is always there when you need it
Your bestie has a life of her own, but cheese does not. When she can't rush to your side, cheese will be there patiently waiting to improve your mood.