'Sexy Congress' Website Ranks Your Representatives Based On How Attractive They Are, Because Of Course It Does
There are any number of ways to rank your congressman: Their voting record, how many shady campaign contributions they take, whether they've been caught in a sex scandal... and now, how sexy they are. That's right — a new website called SexyCongress.net lets you rank congressmen based on their sexiness factor. What a time to be alive, am I right?
The Sexy Congress website is nonpartisan and pretty straightforward. It simply shows users pictures of congressmen and women asks which one they'd rather have sex with. From these "votes," the site compiles its rankings, thereby sorting the 535 men and women who represent the people of the United States based on how sexy they are. Is it meaningful? No. But is it fun? Yes!
Of course, looking through photos of Congress is not nearly as sexy as looking through photos of, say, Hollywood stars. Congress is not the most photogenic bunch. They are generally a lot older and they have other things on their mind besides makeup. But still, given how terrifying it is that Congress holds so much power over all of us, it feels kind of good to take back the power by ruthlessly judging them.
Though, this also means you have to imagine having sex with them. Which is...well...I mean, sometimes the choices the website give you are pretty good. More or less.
So many white guys with receding hairlines. So. Many.
The photos aren't accompanied by any information about the congressman, such as their party affiliation, or even their name, meaning that unless you've memorized the name, face, and party of every single person in Congress, the system should in theory be non-biased and based purely on physical attraction.
Though, I have to say, in general, the women seem to be much more appealing than the men.
And it seems that the rankings agree. Out of the 535 rankings, the top 46 slots are all women. Curiously, though, the lowest-ranked 45 members are also women, primarily older women, though women of color seem disproportionately represented as well (several of the top 46 spots are also women of color, but not as many as can be found at the bottom).
Of course, the nice thing about an interactive, voting-driven system like this is that those rankings can always change.
So who are the sexiest members of Congress? Well, lest we only objectify one gender, here are the top three men and women. Head on over to Sexy Congress to see more.
1. Kyrsten Sinema
Democratic congresswoman from Arizona.
2. Marco Rubio
3. Kirsten Gillibrand
Democratic senator from New York.
4. Beto O'Rourke
Democratic congressman from Texas
5. Martin Heinrich
Democratic senator from New Mexico.
6. Tulsi Gabbard
Democratic congresswoman from Hawaii.
If you want to have your vote counted, you can check out Sexy Congress for yourself.
Images: Sexy Congress (4); Getty Images (5); Wikipedia Commons