It takes a big person to admit this, but here is the truth: when it comes to our crushes, we are all still the obsessive creepers we were in middle school. I don't know what switch flips when you realize you find someone absolutely enthralling, but it comes with the side effects of also being overly aware of every single thing about their lives, and in a culture where #ChillAlways it's what's in vogue, it can be a little hard to keep it cool.
Between social media and mutual friends and the digital circles you both roam, we've facilitated our inherent desire to know everything about our potential-partner-in-question exponentially, all without having to leave the couch. Nothing is sacred anymore — the internet knows all, and you can find it at the click of a button. That said, it's nothing to be ashamed of: we're all like this, and if you think you aren't, you are, and if you say you're not, you're lying. It's time to stop hating on the "loving people a lot, even in kind of weird ways" game, and start embracing it in all its awkward glory. Here all the things people only do when they (actually, really) start to fall in love you:
Recall Almost Every Exact Detail You Share With Them About Your Life
Your mom's name and how you broke up with your first boy/girlfriend. The name of the street you grew up on and the exact time you were born. It's as though when you really, really love someone your brain opens up a little spot just so you can remember everything about them. You want to know more about them, and the whole picture, and somehow that translates to creepily remembering every passing detail you happen to mention.
Check Your Social Media Accounts Five Times Per Day
It's not that they're really looking for anything in particular, just that they want to see you.It's the closest thing they can get to having you with them 24/7, and unfortunately for everyone's productivity in general, that's (literally) virtually possible now.
Suddenly Become Super Self-Conscious To The Point Of Being Aware Of Every Damn Movement They Make
It's not that they're judging themselves for how they're sitting or what they're wearing, it's just that they are so aware of the fact that they are. They're wondering how you perceive every little thing about them, and fearing that maybe one of those little things will be the deal-breaker. (It obviously won't, but you know.)
Become Totally Cool With All Of Your Bodily Functions
If you're throwing up on the couch, they want to be there with you helping you clean up, not avoiding you for the next five days. Your disgusting excretions are their disgusting excretions. There's nothing more loving than being very okay with malfunctioning human parts.
Overanalyze Very Small Interactions With Friends
They want to know what you really mean by *that thing that you did that was totally benign but COULD MEAN SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?*
Analyze Your Potential Parenting Skills
They imagine how your features would mesh into a little human, what names would work with the chosen last names, where you'd raise them and what kind of parent you'd be. And then never tell you that they are doing (have done) this, ever, ever, ever. In fact, they'd rather die than look crazy enough as to tell you that they've anticipated your future children.
Think They See You Everywhere
Even if you're states and cities and other impossibilities away, every stranger starts to look like you, they do double takes in the grocery store because maybe it could be you (?). Every song reminds them of you, every leading movie couple is "soooo you guys." Basically, you're the only thing on their mind, so they project that onto literally (but actually) everything else.
Call Their Moms And Tell Them About You
Every painstaking detail that their friends are sick of listening to. Moms getting involved is a sign of something very serious. Like, you do not get a mother's hopes up unless you are almost certain they are "The One" or you're just insanely obsessed enough to need another ear. Either way.
Open Themselves To Things They Would Never Have Considered Before
The things they swore were relationship non-negotiable are, suddenly, up for negotiation. They're suddenly wiling to consider living in a different part of the country or having a kid. What's weird about it is that they don't do it just because they think it will make you happy (though that's probably, initially, a component). They do it because they actually feel differently.
Start To Adopt Your Mannerisms, Completely Unconsciously
There's a psychological-biological reason for this (it's that we want to appear acceptable by mimicking your "nature") but either way, it's weird. This kind of accounts for when people get into relationships and start acting freakishly like one another... yeah. Science aside, it's strange, but I suppose a bit endearing, if you really, really think about it.
Images: CBS; Giphy(6)