If anything has been clear during Kaitlyn's run on The Bachelorette, it's that potential Bachelor Ben H. is a total dreamboat: He's tall, he looks good in plaid, he's a strong communicator, and he continues to stand up for his ex-girl Kaitlyn no matter how many awful tweets Chris Harrison makes her sit through in front of a live studio audience. What's been a little less clear about Ben H. over the course of The Bachelorette season is, uh, his personality. It's obvious that the guy is fun to be around and pretty even-tempered, but in between Shawn and Nick's regularly scheduled confrontations-on-couches and the pre-Fantasy-Suite-coitus, Ben's storyline didn't receive much focus beyond him being really dreamy and down to wear chunky wool sweaters.
But, here he is, expected to be the next Bachelor! And, I'm no chump — I've been watching The Bachelor for a while now and I know that just because someone seems super nice and laid-back doesn't mean this process can't chew them up, spit them out, and keep their remains in one of those decorative boxes on the end tables that always seem to be surrounding Chris Harrison. So, Ben H., nice as he may be, still needs to watch out for a few things that have complicated the process of finding a future monogamous mate for even the most well-intentioned Bachelors and Bachelorettes. Learn from your fore-Bachelors, Ben...
1. Don't Bring In An Extra Person, No Matter How Much They Tweet You Before The Show
Listen, Kaitlyn has done the best she could with the group of oddballs she was given, but you have to admit... the day she decided to let Nick on the show was the day this season became an emotional rollercoaster for her. Everyone loves Ben — he is going to have every ex-girlfriend and Bachelor in Paradise reject trying to get on his season. Just take what ABC gives you, Ben.
2. Don't Be Too Honest With The Women
But, where Kaitlyn actually went wrong with bringing Nick in was in how honest she was with the men about how difficult the decision was for her. She gave them an inch of doubt, and they took a mile. Ben H. is a naturally honest and forthcoming guy, but on a show that is already so emotionally charged and with an extremely uneven power dynamic, some things are best left unsaid.
3. Limit The V-Necks
Ben has a great, classic style that, sure, could use just a little spicing up, but the Bachelor stylists will inevitably try to make him wear every deep-v in the American Apparel catalog. Don't do it, Ben.
4. Be Careful With Immediate Connections
Like Chris with Britt, or Kaitlyn with Shawn, when the Bachelor(ette) feels an immediate connection with someone, they want to express that. And, that's fine, but just make sure you're not leading them to believe that you only have eyes for them when you also have eyes for 18 other women, and the weight of an entire entertainment juggernaut resting solely on your manly shoulders. Coming in strong too early just makes it harder on everyone in the end.
5. Try Not To Talk Too Much
One of Ben's greatest strengths is his ability to communicate clearly, and while I could listen to him CEO-talk about emotions for an entire episode, from the few eloquent speeches we've heard from him, he seems like might not be the most concise communicator. Choose your words as economically as you do wisely, Ben.
6. Evenly Distribute The Helicopter Rides
Have favorites but don't show your cards — nobody wants Kymberlee coming back from her one-on-one talking about the sunset helicopter ride to Las Vegas where she got to meet Celine Dion when everyone else is getting a build-your-own sundae bar in an empty bar at 10 am. Plan your dates fairly.
7. Don't Over-Analyze
Ben seems like a logical fellow, like a guy who might seem really calm now and crack under the weight of not being able to apply a normal amount of logic to this new situation he's put into, which is basically emotions on steroids watching kitten GIFs. So, just go with your heart, Ben, don't overthink it.
8. Try Not To Make The Contestants Send Each Other To The Hospital On Every Group Date
Most importantly: Enough with the terrible group dates where the Bachelor(ette) wants to see if the contestants can "get out of their comfort zone," and by get out of their comfort zone, they mean fight each other in a boxing ring or a roller rink or something. I say Ben takes some of Tony the Healer's advice. How about a nice trip to the zoo?!
Bearing all this in mind, Ben H. will be a great Bachelor. Let the waiting begin!
Images: Rick Rowell/ABC; giphy (8)