A Guide To Who’s Who In The Real Housewives Of Rhode Island

If you had trouble telling Lisa Barlow and Meredith Marks apart on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, then the newest locale in Bravo’s iconic franchise will be particularly challenging. The Real Housewives of Rhode Island is full of chaos from the opening scene, with sugar daddies, extramarital affairs, infidelity allegations, and petty squabbles galore.

But there’s only one slight problem: they all look alike. Every single one of them.

The new Housewives — Alicia Carmody, Rosie DiMare, Liz McGraw, Rulla Nehme Pontarelli, Kelsey Swanson, Jo-Ellen Tiberi, and Bachelor alum Ashley Iaconetti — show promise. But after watching the first two episodes, I still had trouble figuring out who was who. They’re all brunette, talk in the same East Coast manner, and have similar facial structures despite their varying ages — and no, that’s not a dig about any procedures they’ve had done (which is none of our business).

Even fellow Housewives can’t tell the new cast apart, and predictably, the RHORI ladies have a problem with it, with Alicia and Liz insisting that nobody looks alike. Despite their objections, fans will likely feel the same when the series premieres on April 2. Luckily, I’ve done enough studying by now to help you out with this problem.

Ashley Iaconetti

If you’re a part of Bachelor Nation, then you’ll have no problem recognizing Ashley. If you never watched her on The Bachelor, then she has the least trace of an East Coast accent, since she’s the only cast member not native to Rhode Island. And she’s probably the one who is most likely to cry at any given moment.

Liz McGraw

If you think you’re looking at New Jersey Housewife Dolores Catania, who joins RHORI as a Friend, but she’s not actually in the room, then you’re watching Liz. The two have been good friends for years and know how much they look alike, with Dolores telling Bravo, “People think we look like sisters.” They’ve even used the same plastic and dental surgeons, which doesn’t help matters.

Alicia Carmody

If you think Liz is speaking, but she actually has a much thicker accent that could pass for an old-school Italian New Yorker, then it’s really Alicia. Out of the entire RHORI cast, Alicia gives off the most “mob wife” energy, which is discernible in its own right.

Jo-Ellen Tiberi

Jo-Ellen has the biggest “resting b*tch face” of the group (complimentary), and usually has her hair higher than heaven à la Dolly Parton. If you speak Gossip Girl, then think of Jo-Ellen as the show’s Blair Waldorf, in both wardrobe and personality.

Rulla Nehme Pontarelli

Rulla isn’t introduced on RHORI until the second episode, which perhaps makes her a bit easier to distinguish from the rest of the group. In addition, her Lebanese heritage gives her a more distinct accent, while her composed demeanor makes her stand out. But rest assured, her drama is no less intense.

Kelsey Swanson

Out of the entire cast, the two youngest stars, Kelsey and Rosie, are probably the hardest to tell apart, which means you have to pay attention to the smallest details — or keep their storylines in mind. Kelsey is the one with a sugar daddy that she only sees for half of the year, and possibly another boyfriend on the side, which just might be enough.

Rosie DiMare

Rosie is a former weatherwoman and still hosts a lifestyle segment on a local Rhode Island channel, which means she’s got the news anchor voice down pat. Her hair also seems to be a tad longer than Kelsey’s, though this tidbit may end up being useless considering how often Housewives change hairdos.