Fourth Of July

21 Funny Quotes About Fourth Of July

“It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.”

21 Funny Quotes About Fourth Of July
LeoPatrizi/E+/Getty Images
Updated: 
Originally Published: 

The Fourth of July is a day set aside for us to reflect upon America's birth, to revel in her greatness, and to celebrate our many freedoms... but COME ON GUYS! Let's not take ourselves too seriously! America loves to laugh, and these funny Fourth of July quotes will remind you that our nation is many things, including pretty freaking hilarious.

See, way back in the day when our Founding Fathers were brainstorming all the ways to make our nation great, they came up with this little thing called "freedom of speech" (nice one, guys!). It's basically where you, as an American, have the right to say whatever is on your mind without fear of censorship... and as such, people have had some amazing and spectacular things to say. From Groucho Marx and George Carlin to Louis C.K. and Stephen Colbert, Americans tend to have a great sense of humor when it comes to talking about, well, America. Heck, even Ronald Reagan was able to crack a few smiles.

So this year, make sure you are using the Fourth of July weekend to have a good time, because America thrives on fun, and these quotes about America are as fun as they get.

1. "America's a family. We all yell at each other, and it all works out." — Louis C.K.

Artem Varnitsin / EyeEm/EyeEm/Getty Images

2. "When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat." — George Carlin

3. "If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it." — Stephen Colbert

4. "All great change in America begins at the dinner table." — Ronald Reagan

5. "All people are born alike. Except Republicans and Democrats." — Groucho Marx

6. "My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbour, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love." — Yakov Smirnoff

7. “It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.” — Stephen Colbert

8. "I always have the most fun on the Fourth of July. You don't have to exchange any gifts. You just go to the beach and watch fireworks." — James Lafferty

9. “You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.” — Jon Stewart

10. “‘And one day people will celebrate this day by getting shit-faced and lighting Chinese explosives on — Thomas Jefferson 1776.” — Zach Braff

11. “Baby, you’re a firework.” — Katy Perry

12. “Happy 4th of July! Drink until you see stars… and stripes!” —Unknown

13. “I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my freedom ringing.” — Unknown

14. "I normally don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but... it's 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowing crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want." —Jim Gaffigan

15. “Party like a Patriot.” — Unknown

16. "July 4th, 1776 British: Just saying you're independent doesn't make it true. Thomas Jefferson: I didn't say it. I declared it." — Some E-Cards

17. “Happy Fourth of July! Remember: If you drink a fifth on the fourth, you may not go forth on the fifth!” — Unknown

18. “Four score and seven beers ago...” — Unknown

19. “May your 4th of July Fireworks cause less personal injury than your alcohol consumption.” —Unknown

20. “Isn’t it funny how red, white, and blue represent freedom... until they’re flashing behind you.” — Unknown

21. “Too cool for British rule!” — Unknown

This article was originally published on