TikTok’s “Lavender Soap Theory” Stems From BookTok Lore

Think of all the pretty things you’ve squirreled away for a special occasion: the nice plates you only bring out on holidays, the fancy dress in the back of your closet, the pricy perfume you refuse to spritz on a regular day.

TikTok’s “lavender soap theory” suggests you should use all your best things as often as possible — and enjoy every minute of it. In a Dec. 10 post, creator @rio.mads posed in a cool outfit and said, “Lavender soap theory: Was saving this Issey Miyake top for a special occasion, but would rather wear it now.” She added, “Clothes are meant to be lived in.”

In another TikTok, @kythegoofygoober wrote, “Letting my boyfriend use my Olaplex conditioner because of the lavender soap theory.” Instead of keeping it all for herself, she decided to let him indulge in her products, if he wanted to. That’s the lavender soap theory.

The idea is nothing new. Many people make a point of using their good napkins, best sweaters, and silver cutlery on the regular. Take Rajiv Surendra, an artist, content creator, and Mean Girls star, who posts on YouTube about this very thing — racking up thousands of views and reminding us all that life is so much sweeter when you surround yourself with nice things.

The lavender theory has deep BookTok lore, but it’s also a cute reminder to treat yourself. Here’s what to know.

What Is The “Lavender Soap Theory”?

In a TikTok posted by @megmarlenee, she showed herself emotionally crumbling with on-screen text that read, “This is me every time I come across a lavender soap theory video.”

In her comments, people were asking what it meant, and one commenter said, “It’s based around a quote from a book, but the gist is to use your nice things without waiting for a special occasion bc life can be abruptly changed and you may never find the right occasion, hence use the nice lavender soap.”

The book in question is The Assassin’s Blade from Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass series, which includes a moment when the main character doesn’t want her partner to use her lavender soap, but eventually comes to regret it after a heartbreaking turn of events. *Spoilers ahead*

Another TikTok comment explained it further, saying, “So the night before the main character’s significant other was going out on a mission, she didn’t let him use her incredibly expensive lavender soap and made him use regular soap and he died during that mission and she kept punishing herself for not letting him use that soap because that was her last conversation with him — a fight over the lavender soap.”

Another said, “There’s an amazing masterpiece of a book called throne of glass and the main character basically never lets her bf borrow her lavender soap and one day he gets murdered and when she hugs his body he still smells like the cheap soap she’d make him use.”

What started as a heart-wrenching conversation on BookTok has since evolved into what TikTok loves most: a viral “theory” that can act as a reminder or teaching moment. This time, it’s all about using your nice things while you can, as well as sharing them with the important people in your life.

Use Your Lavender Soap

While the lavender soap theory is multi-layered, the main idea is to allow yourself to enjoy what you have. The next time you’re wondering if you should wear your cashmere sweater, even though you’re just going to the grocery store, go ahead and wear it.

If you have a favorite lipstick, it makes sense to use it as often as possible, instead of waiting for it to go bad. If you succeeded in finding the perfect pair of jeans, why not wear them until they turn to dust? It’s so much better than stuffing them in a drawer just because they were expensive. What’s the point of that?

This theory might even inspire you to spoil the people in your life with treats. Think about buying their favorite snack when you’re out at the store or letting a partner light your favorite candle so you can share the experience. It makes sense to share the love.