Digital Love

Does Your Love Language Actually Matter?

Millennials discuss their love languages and how to use them in relationships.

by Lauren Tegtmeyer
Originally Published: 

Have you ever heard of the five love languages? It's a concept first introduced and developed in 1992 by a minister and author named Dr. Gary Chapman. According to Chapman, people with different personalities and life experiences ultimately give and receive love in different ways — he dubbed these models of human relationships the "5 Love Languages." Under this framework, each individual has at least one language that they prefer above the other.

So, what are the five love languages? Here's a breakdown:

Words of affirmation

People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection — think saying "I love you," giving compliments, verbally appreciating your partner, or sending cute texts.

Acts of service

People who see acts of service as love value when their partners go out of their way to do nice things for them, like pick up their laundry or take the trash out. If you're a pragmatic or practical person, this could be your preferred love language.


We all love a little treat every once in a while, but some people immensely value receiving objects of affection more than others. According to Chapman, it's not about spending money; instead, people with this love language adore the process of gift-giving — selecting the gift, the search for the perfect thing, etc.

Physical touch

Some people feel most loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, cuddling, holding hands, and of course, sex.

Quality time

These are the people who feel most loved when their partners make time for them in their schedule, and dedicate special periods to hanging out and paying attention to them and them alone.

So, what's your love language? And more importantly, how can you effectively use your love language — and recognize your partner's — in a relationship? In this episode of Digital Love, Bustle's series about dating in the digital age, millennials discuss which love language they speak most fluently, and which one they prefer their partner speaks back.

Executive Creative Director: Lauren Sofair

Executive Producer: Whitney Buxton

Producer: Lauren Tegtmeyer

Director of Photography: Marshall Stief

Camera Operator: Sam Cowan

Design Director: Andenew Ayele

Motion Designer: Jeff Donlan

Editor: Meline Rosales

Video Assistant: Sasha Mahmood

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