As we descend into the holiday season, it can be necessary every so often to put down the Christmas cookie, take a step back from aggressive holiday cheer, and have nice li'l laugh. So, for that li'l laugh, check out these funny holiday quotes. Share them at family functions at your own risk — if you get the reputation as "that cousin always trying to make goofs," that's on you, my dudes.
The holiday season, which begins after either Halloween or Thanksgiving depending on who you talk to, and runs through New Year's Eve, is a marathon of socializing, drinking, gift giving, money spending and consuming copious amounts of sugar. It's spawned endless pop culture goofs and spoofs that address everything from the bizarre gifts your great-aunt sends to the ever-awkward scenario of bringing your significant other home and having to, uh, "hang out" in your childhood twin bed.
What I'm trying to say is, pop culture gets you, and there are tons of funny quotes about the holidays that prove that. So whether you're going to 50 different cousin-hosted functions or you're going it alone this year, check out these hilarious quotes about the holiday season. Hopefully at least one will make you laugh. Got a good one of your own that's not on this list? Tell it! I wanna hear it! I need some cheering up, too!
“I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't. ”
“Christmas, it seems to me, is a necessary festival; we require a season when we can regret all the flaws in our human relationships: it is the feast of failure, sad but consoling.”
“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, “Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals."
“Christmas: it’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.”
“Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.”
