I regret to inform you all that men are cancelled for the rest of the year 2018. We're going to try this one without them. I mean, look, I have friends who are men. I've dated men. My father is even a man — it's not that all men behave badly. It's just that enough men behave badly, and the rest of us need to lie down for a year or so because of it. Or we need to scream, or cry, or read some excellent verse, so here are a few poems for when you're fed up with men.
Poetry is there for you when the guy you're dating suddenly seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth, only to resurface several months later in someone else's profile picture. It's there for you when you're too burnt out to check social media, because you can't stomach any more statuses defending predatory male celebrities. Poems can express the depths of rage, hurt, and just plain ol' exhaustion that come with being anyone other than a man in America in 2018 in a way that mere prose simply can't.
So the next time you feel like you need to eject yourself from society and go live on Wonder Woman's chill all lady island for the next few decades, take a deep breath and read (or listen to) some poetry:
1'Differences of Opinion' by Wendy Cope
"He tells her that the earth is flat —
He knows the facts, and that is that.
In altercations fierce and long
She tries her best to prove him wrong."
2'Heels' by Imani Cezanne
"This is for the man who asked me why I wear heels if I'm already so tall. And for the date who asked me to change my shoes because my height was making him uncomfortable. And for the idiot who asked how tall I was, then proceeded to explain it was only OK that I were taller than him now because he'd be taller than me when he bent me over. Men."
3'Song of One of the Girls' by Dorothy Parker
"I'm of the glamorous ladies
At whose beckoning history shook.
But you are a man, and see only my pan,
So I stay at home with a book."
4'On body hair' by Rupi Kaur
the next time he
points out the
hair on your legs is
growing back remind
that boy your body
is not his home
5'The Period Poem' by Dominique Christina
"Dear nameless dummy on Twitter, you're the reason my daughter cried funeral tears when she started her period. The sudden grief all young girls feel after the matriculation from childhood and the induction into a reality that they gonna have to negotiate you and your disdain for what a woman's body can do. Herein begins an anatomy lesson infused with feminist politics, because I hate you."
6'A Song: Strephon, your breach of faith and trust' by Laetitia Pilkington
"That heart to you so fondly tied,
With pleasure wore its chain,
But from your cold neglectful pride,
Found liberty again."
7'Ode To My Bitch Face' by Olivia Gatwood
"Resting bitch face, they call you, but there is nothing restful about you, no. Lips like a flat-lined heartbeat, panic at the sight of you, scream for their mothers, throat full of bees, head spun 360 exorcist bitch."
8'You Fit Into Me' by Margaret Atwood
"You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye."
9'If He Says' by Nikita Gill
If he says your body is ruined
because it has been touched
by another man’s hands
10'Still I Rise' by Maya Angelou
"Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?"
11'Loose Woman' by Sandra Cisneros
"They say I’m a bitch.
the same and never winced."