12 People Explain How Their Polyamorous Relationships Started

Ashley Batz/Bustle

A lot of people are curious as to how polyamorous relationships work— how do they get started? What are the practical considerations? And, the questions that always comes up, how do you deal with jealousy?

Well, firstly, it's important to remember that all couples deal with issues of jealousy — whether they're monogamous or polyamorous. "We all experience jealousy at some point; the key to keeping things healthy is being able to identify the feeling and not allow it to control behavior," marriage and family therapist and relationship expert Esther Boykin tells Bustle. But you can see why people are curious about poly relationships if they've never been in one. Luckily, Reddit users in polyamorous relationships came forward to share their experiences in an AskReddit thread. And it was a really interesting range. Because while some people made a very conscious decision to be in a polyamorous relationships, for others it was something that they fell into and worked as they went along.

It's important to not put all poly relationships in the same category. Poly relationships vary — just like all relationships do. But it can be interesting and helpful to get some insight into how people transition into polyamory. Here's what the folks of Reddit had to say about how their relationships got started:

1Years Ago


Sometimes it's just really natural.

2Complicated, But Worth It


Different things work for different people.

3Six Years Strong


It's amazing how easy the chemistry can be just from the get go — and that sounds like an incredible king sized bed.

4The Unexpected Relationship


Sometimes you just don't see it coming.

5He Did It For The Girl


... and sometimes that works.

6Which Relationship?


Often it starts as one thing and evolves into another.

7That Realization


Seeing someone else do it can help it all click into place.

8A Total Family


I love that even in a happy family the 'terrible sleep partners' thing is still an issue. Sleep is important, people.

9That Connection From The Beginning


BFFs turned into something more... it sounds like something out of a rom- com.

10Dealing With Jealousy Through Communication


Communication solves everything.

11Practical Considerations


Sometimes timing really matters.

12Separate Houses With Sleepovers


Having your own houses and sleepovers? That sounds like the dream.

Polyamory can come across in so many different ways. Sometimes you know that's what you want, sometimes you stumble upon it, and sometimes you evolve into it. In any case, it makes a lot of happy relationships.