12 People Explain How Their Polyamorous Relationships Started

Ashley Batz/Bustle

A lot of people are curious as to how polyamorous relationships work— how do they get started? What are the practical considerations? And, the questions that always comes up, how do you deal with jealousy?

Well, firstly, it's important to remember that all couples deal with issues of jealousy — whether they're monogamous or polyamorous. "We all experience jealousy at some point; the key to keeping things healthy is being able to identify the feeling and not allow it to control behavior," marriage and family therapist and relationship expert Esther Boykin tells Bustle. But you can see why people are curious about poly relationships if they've never been in one. Luckily, Reddit users in polyamorous relationships came forward to share their experiences in an AskReddit thread. And it was a really interesting range. Because while some people made a very conscious decision to be in a polyamorous relationships, for others it was something that they fell into and worked as they went along.

It's important to not put all poly relationships in the same category. Poly relationships vary — just like all relationships do. But it can be interesting and helpful to get some insight into how people transition into polyamory. Here's what the folks of Reddit had to say about how their relationships got started:


Years Ago

Sometimes it's just really natural.


Complicated, But Worth It

Different things work for different people.


Six Years Strong

It's amazing how easy the chemistry can be just from the get go — and that sounds like an incredible king sized bed.


The Unexpected Relationship

Sometimes you just don't see it coming.


He Did It For The Girl

... and sometimes that works.


Which Relationship?

Often it starts as one thing and evolves into another.


That Realization

Seeing someone else do it can help it all click into place.


A Total Family

I love that even in a happy family the 'terrible sleep partners' thing is still an issue. Sleep is important, people.


That Connection From The Beginning

BFFs turned into something more... it sounds like something out of a rom- com.


Dealing With Jealousy Through Communication

Communication solves everything.


Practical Considerations

Sometimes timing really matters.


Separate Houses With Sleepovers

Having your own houses and sleepovers? That sounds like the dream.

Polyamory can come across in so many different ways. Sometimes you know that's what you want, sometimes you stumble upon it, and sometimes you evolve into it. In any case, it makes a lot of happy relationships.