Whether you've been on the dating-go-round for a month or for years, it can be easy to get into a dating rut. You start to feel like there's nobody out there for you or that you just can't handle another bad date. But once you get into this mindset, it can really hold you back.
“If someone has a negative attitude people can sense it from a mile away and most people do not want to be around it,” life coach and author, Sarah E. Stewart, MSW, CPC, tells Bustle. “It is important to be positive even if you are on your one hundredth bad date.”
If you find yourself feeling negative about your love life, it's important to find a way to change your perspective. That might mean taking a big step back and taking a break from dating altogether — and that's OK. But maybe you don't need a total break — you just need a little attitude shift.
If you feel like you need a change in perspective, here are some quotes on love, relationships, and being single that can help you reframe the way you look at dating.
1“Don't let society fool you into believing that if you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend then you're destined for a life of misery. The Dalai Lama has been single for the last 80 years and he is one of the happiest people on earth. Stop searching for happiness in places outside of yourself, and start finding it where it has always been: within you.” - Miya Yamanouchi
Work on yourself, on being happy single, on making a life for yourself — because that's the most important foundation, whether you want a relationship or not.
2"Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
I'm not going to argue with Bob Marley. Although this sounds depressing, it's actually just an important reminder that nobody's perfect — everyone you meet is going to have flaws and make mistakes but, with some people, it will be worth it.
3“Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you. You must travel it by yourself. It is not far. It is within reach. Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know. Perhaps it is everywhere — on water and land.” - Walt Witman
You can't expect anyone else to make your life complete or to make you ready to meet someone — you have to do the work.
4“I didn’t lose you, you lost me. You’ll search for me inside of everyone you’re with and I won’t be found." - Anonymous
If you feel like you keep being left behind — or you're struggling to get over a bad breakup — try looking at it from the other angle: they don't get to be with you anymore.
5“On the day when it will be possible for woman to love not in her weakness but in her strength, not to escape herself but to find herself, not to abase herself but to assert herself — on that day love will become for her, as for man, a source of life and not of mortal danger.” - Simone de Beauvoir
You can't go wrong with a little Simone de Beauvoir. Just a reminder that we run the world and should approach our dating lives as such.
6“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” - Michael Bassey Johnson
Live your best life. Every step of the way.
7“A 'perfect relationship' is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other." - Anonymous
You've got quirks, flaws, and mistakes under your belt — but you'll find someone else who does too, if you're both willing to put the work in.
8"I have my own high standards for what I want in a partner and how I want to be treated. I bring a lot to the table. I'm not talking about material things but what I have to offer as a person — love and loyalty and all the things that make a good relationship." - Jennifer Lopez
If Jennifer Lopez tells you to have high standards then it's time to have high standards. The end.
9"People change and forget to tell each other." - Lillian Hellman
If you're mourning past relationships, this quote is a gut-wrenching reminder that sometimes it's not meant to be — or if it was for a while, that doesn't mean it should last forever.
10"We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions. That we'll screw up royally sometimes." - Arianna Huffington
Let yourself off of the hook. So many of us sabotage our own dating lives by berating ourselves for a million mistakes. Let it go.
11"Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them." - Andre Maurois
If you find every date nerve-wracking, this quote shines a light on those dates from the other side. Everybody gets nervous, they need reassurance as much as you do, so cut them some slack and try to inject some compassion into the situation.
12"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
You don't need to settle — you can keep being yourself and wanting what you want. Don't give into the pressure.
13“There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.” - Leonard Cohen
Finally, a little Leonard Cohen to remind you that no matter how bleak it seems, there's always some way to find the light.
If you get into a dating funk, that attitude can bring you down. So take a step back and as much time as you need to reframe the way you approach your dating life. Because sometimes, perspective is everything.
