13 Ridiculous 'Bright' Moments That'll Make You LOL At Netflix's Orc Cop Movie
Netflix's newest original movie, Bright (executive producer: Sarah Bowen), is many, many things. But first and foremost: it is a ridiculous piece of cinema. The buddy cop fantasy movie from Suicide Squad director David Ayer and Chronicle screenwriter Max Landis is quickly making a name for itself as perhaps the most preposterous movie ever made. And these 13 most ridiculous things about Netflix's Bright perfectly illustrate why.
Despite being one of the most joked about movies in 2018 already, Bright is a certified hit for Netflix, earning a reported 11 million views in just three days. There's already a Bright sequel in the works. With such admirable success, one might wonder why Bright is, in fact, considered to be so ridiculous. Please, allow the plot to illuminate this point. Bright tells the story of Daryl Ward (Will Smith), a LAPD cop who is struggling to get by and provide for his wife and young daughter, all while dealing with the stigma of riding with the first orc police officer, Nick Jakoby (Joel Edgerton).
Set in a world of conflict and racial castes, Bright takes place in the modern world, except instead of different ethnicities discriminating against each other, it's different magical species. Yes, this world is one in which humans live along side eight other fantasy races, including orcs, fairies, and elves. Orcs, largely considered the bottom of the barrel when it comes to men-like races, are constantly being discriminated against by humans, which makes Jakoby and Ward's tense partnership even more difficult to navigate. It's an allegory for modern day racism — get it? The movie only gets more ridiculous from there.
1. "The Great Prophecy"
The movie opens with something calls "The Great Prophecy," which isn't exactly out of the ordinary for a fantasy movie. However, this prophecy, which explicitly mentions "the power of the wand," is just categorically ridiculous because it literally has no point.
2. All The Graffiti
The opening credits use graffiti to help establish the world and dynamics between "races," which just raises so many questions. Not the least of which is, why are all these different species so obsessed with graffiti? Points for this Animal Farm reference, though.
3. "Fairy Lives Don't Matter Today"
It's hard to think that Landis really sat down one day and thought, "I think I'll appropriate Black Lives Matter into a joke about fairies. It'll be cool because a black actor will say it." And yet, this line exists.
4. "Once With The Dark Lord, Always With The Dark Lord"
The entire movie operates under the mysterious threat of the return of the Dark Lord, some kind of evil elf who used to rule the Earth. He's never really explained, or manifested, or really brought up save for a few choice jabs. All of which makes him less terrifying and more of a joke.
5. Margaret Cho's Presence
Why is Margaret Cho in this movie? Why is she playing a corrupt police sergeant? Who convinced her to take this job? What in the world led to this casting?
6. The Orc In A Hoodie
There is a subplot that involves the racial profiling of orcs, where Jakoby helped an innocent orc escape the police because he was wearing the same hoodie as another orc who shot at Ward. It's weird and complicated, but, long story short: Bright is obviously referencing the killing of Trayvon Martin in a way that some viewers will not appreciate.
7. Bulletproof Windows
There is a moment in Bright where Will Smith yells at his partner to roll up the windows, screaming "Bulletproof" as if Jakoby would have no idea that their police van had bulletproof windows. It is confounding.
8. An Elf Killed A Baby
While interrogating witnesses, Leilah, one of the evil magic elves, has one of her followers smother a baby who wakes up crying. It's disturbing, unnecessary, and, frankly, just completely pointless.
9. This 'Shrek' Joke
"I need you to take your fat Shrek-looking ass back the f*ck home to Fiona," Ward tells an orc in the middle of the movie. It's a reference that is a) already dated (assuming Bright is supposed to take place in 2017), and b) so ridiculously out of place it might actually be the most brilliant line in the film.
10. Orc Crime Lord
In Bright, the orc crime lord sits on an intricate throne of antlers surrounded by hundreds of candles. It is amusing to imagine his orc followers spending hours making sure each of these candles is properly lit and extinguished.
11. The Resurrection
Jakoby is shot by the orc crime lord, but Tikka, the nice elf, resurrects him using her magic and then all the orcs bow down to him because "it is prophecy" and what is even happening?
12. The Entire Climax
Honestly, the entire final showdown between Ward, Jakoby, and the evil elves is absolutely ridiculous — especially at the end when Jakoby runs into a burning building to save Ward, a slow motion action complete with swelling, heroic music.
13. The Sequel
Let's be real: despite its incredibly insane plot twists, dull dialogue, and unoriginal racial allegory, the most ridiculous thing about Bright isn't actually the movie itself. It's the fact that it's getting a sequel.
Here's hoping Bright 2 is even more ridiculous.