These Catchy Songs From Your Childhood Were So Not Kid-Friendly

So inappropriate. So catchy. And since a remix of this track actually made it onto the Nutty Professor II: The Klumps soundtrack, every kid in town was singing it under their breath.

The topic, the bright colors in the music video, and the sugary-sweet melody meant if you were a kid, you assumed you were the target audience. But with lines like "You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere" and "You can touch, you can play, if you say, 'I'm always yours'," it was pretty creepy to hear kids singing this.

There you were thinking it was for all the kids out there who were into horse riding. The chorus set you straight, though: "If you're horny, let's do it." This wasn't about a pony, this was about Ginuwine's pony, which was something totally different.

You only joined in with the chorus, which sounded pretty general, right? But now let's take a deep-dive into the lyrics: "If I need it in the morning or the middle of the night... If the lovin' is strong then he got it goin' on... Two inches or a yard rock hard or if it's saggin'..." Oh dear.

The irony was that the song really did make you want to shake your rump. But you probably weren't Wreckx-N-Effect's target audience when they rapped "A wiggle and a jiggle can make the night complete."

Was this about emotional loneliness? Or was it about a woman asking someone to rub her in the right place? Probably the latter, which makes the fact that you were obsessed with this track all the weirder.

That great riff endures, but the subject matter — sex and, presumably, drugs — still makes a great case for why your parents switched the radio station every time this came on.

Because 8-year-olds chanting "Gettin' jiggy with it! Na na na na na na" is pretty upsetting. Bonus points for the immortal line "Big Willie style's all in it."

Because no matter how sweet the harmonies, this was still a song about two people fusing their bodies together during penetration.

The song's chorus "hit me baby one more time" conjured up images of an S&M relationship. This wasn't, in fact, what the songwriters Max Martin and Rami Yacoub had intended; they're Swedish, and they had meant "hit me" to sound like American slang for "call me." So actually the song is about a girl wanting her ex-boyfriend to call her back. Which is... not what it sounds like.

The title was bad enough, and the refrain ("You can give it to me when I need to come along") was worse. But it was a total earworm, so what parent could blame their kid for singing along?

Whether or not younger you could decipher what this song was about, the experiences described sounded perfectly pleasant: "Just tell me when the spaceship lands because all of this has to mean something," "In the middle of the night it feels so nice," "At 4 o'clock the normal world feels very, very, very faraway."

I mean, all of it right? But this in particular: "You say he's not treating you right/Lady spend the night now." Hey, don't tell the women of tomorrow that in response to your boyfriend being sucky is to jump into someone else's bed. No judgement on how quick you need to move on, but emotional vulnerability and a new sexual partner? Doesn't sound like the greatest advice in the world.

You had no business listening to any of these songs as a kid — but, praise be, you're now an adult. Make sure you play them loud and proud for the filthiest singalong in town.