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15 Of The Wildest Theories About Why So Many Fireworks Are Going Off Right Now
OK, whoever had “firework conspiracy theories” on their 2020 bingo card wins. Congrats and also how dare you. If you live... um, literally anywhere close to a major city, you’ve likely heard mysterious nightly fireworks. It’s still a bit too soon for Fourth of July-specific explosions and, if you’ve been paying attention at all, the world isn’t really cause for celebration at the moment. So, why the fireworks display every night? The internet, as you might suspect, has some theories.
Make no mistake: you have been hearing way more fireworks than usual. Boston has seen a 2,300% increase in firework complaints since this time last year. Not to be outdone, New York has seen a 4,000% increase in firework complaints. Subreddits for major cities across the country — from Chicago to Philadelphia to San Francisco to Los Angeles to Hartford, Connecticut to Columbus, Ohio — are all asking the same question: why are fireworks going off every night?
Many people are attributing it to quarantine boredom. After being cooped up inside, mostly isolated, we’ve all developed some form of cabin fever. Some of us have turned to sourdough starters. Others, apparently, turn to pyrotechnics. Though we have no conclusive answers on the 2020 Fireworks Mystery, might as well speculate a bit. Here are 15 of the most buckwild theories Twitter has about the nightly fireworks.
1It's The Police
The theory doesn't seem as far fetched when you consider the parade of police sirens seen West Harlem and reports of fireworks being set off near police precincts in other cities. While places like New York say their police department is planning a "sting operation" to stop the fireworks, theories that the police are behind it to begin with don't seem to be slowing down.
2Fireworks Are Just Super Cheap Right Now
Tri-state area fireworks retailer Keystone is currently running a buy one, get one sale until July 10. However, some of their bigger fireworks like the Mr. Sandman are still priced at $100, which seems steep for regular consumption given the number of fireworks being reported.
4What If It's *lowers glasses* The Government?
This seems to be the most popular theory in part because it's so vague it explains away any questions. Why every night at the same time? The government. Why isn't it stopping? The government. Why is it happening everywhere? The government. I will say, author Robert Jones Jr.'s government theory is compelling.
5Maybe It's Something More...Insidious
Are these fireworks and their mysterious disappearing debris the new crop circles? (Probably not as some cities have been asking residents to help clean up the firework detritus.)
6Maybe We're Just Noticing Them More
Though there's been a measurable increase in fireworks sales, some say the fireworks they just seem louder after pandemic quietness. Like the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon but with firework explosions.
7It's Black Market Sales
Tied into the fireworks sales and cancellation of 4th of July celebrations, another theory is that we have easier access to "professional grade" fireworks. But whether or not they're actually the "professional grade" fireworks typically inaccessible by the public is up for debate.
10OK, But Have You Googled COINTELPRO?
I mean, it's not entirely unheard of though claims that the fireworks are nefarious is still purely speculation,
12It's Citizen Rebellion
Some have suggested the fireworks are somehow tied into the protests against police brutality and growing anti-racism movement a la the car horns at Gracie Mansion.
