16 'New Adventures of Old Christine' Quotes To Add Some Sass To Almost Any Conversation
Though Julia Louis-Dreyfus found immense success and acclaim with Veep, her shorter-lived CBS sitcom was also a total gem. Some of the best New Adventures of Old Christine quotes are the ones that are universal. Or, to be more specific, the ones that you can flavor any conversation with when you want to sound wittier and more sarcastic than you really are.
The show was packed with hilarious one-liners and unforgettable responses for every day situations that everyone can relate to. Christine, like all of us, was struggling to keep her crazy life together. But, unlike the rest of us, she was always ready with a funny quip to take the normal situation from "blah blah blah" to "ha ha ha." Though her bestie Barb and her brother Matthew had a number of laugh-out-loud moments, Christine usually delivered the hardest punches time and time again, often because she remained blissfully unaware of just how extraordinary she was in this ordinary world.
So, partly as an ode to the goofiness that was Old Christine, here are some of her most memorable quotes that you can easily tweak to use in your own lives and, hopefully, make them even more entertaining.
1. When You're Trying To Make Learning Sound Fun
Perspective is everything. Even if you know the situation you're about to get into is education-oriented, that doesn't mean it needs to be boring.
2. When You Gain Confidence Through Baby Steps
"I have a full life! And a body pillow I can get dressed in front of." @ChristineQuotes— Aaron Schwarz (@aarbear__) February 11, 2013
Self-help gurus always say to count your blessings. By listing out what you have your life, you can remind yourself of all the things you can already be happy about. And, sure, that can include that body pillow that keeps you warm and cuddles with you every night.
3. When You Let Your Body Outweigh Your Brain
Christine: My brain says no, but my pants say off! @ChristineQuotes— LauraLira (@LauraRmzLira) October 28, 2013
Everyone has been there, but, hey, when you've got a good sense of humor you're allowed to make some mistakes.
4. When You're Conflicted About The Patriarchy
CHRISTINE: I got home from the bank the other day and I had an entire boob hanging out. No one noticed. It was my good one too. [2.16]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) July 21, 2013
Unwanted compliments are obviously unwanted. But sometimes you wouldn't mind a little notice from a stranger. Christine perfectly describes that inner turmoil in the funniest possible way.
5. When You're Trying To Be Polite But Don't Understand Why Everyone Insists On Wasting Your Time
There's only so much of one story you can take. And, though most polite society would frown upon it, sometimes you just want to ask how much longer this person is going to be talking before you can move on with your life.
6. When You Try To Save Some Money And It Backfires
I've been fighting this lowgrade flu for the last few weeks. I used some mascara I found at the gym. Guess I gambled and I lost. [3.10]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) August 27, 2013
Sometimes cutting cost corners seems like the best idea. And sometimes you learn the hard way that one man's trash is also another man's trash, even though he thinks it's treasure.
7. When You Want To Be There For Your Bestie, But You're Impatient
I got a call from Barb. She's had the hiccups for the last 4 hours, she had to go to the emergency room. That was such a long message.[4.04]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) September 12, 2013
Sometimes you make complaints about even your most beloved friends that you don't realize are insensitive. Then again, time is money.
8. When You're Willing To Admit You Peaked In High School
CHRISTINE: Robin's my friend. MATTHEW: Who's Robin? C: From high school. M: When was the last time you saw her? C: High school. [4.02]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) September 5, 2013
You're allowed to still consider your high school best friend a close friend, even if you haven't spoken in years...
9. When You're Having A Bad Day
Hyperbole is the spice of life.
10. When You Want To Convey You May Not Be Cut Out For Parenting
CHRISTINE: I love this bassinet. Ritchie spent the first 3 years of his life in here. [5.14]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) April 11, 2013
Leaving your child in his bassinet for three years is obviously a terrible idea, but Ritchie turned out OK, so no harm no foul, right?
11. When The Laundry Struggle Is Real
"I ran out of clean underwear, thats why I'm wearing my bathing suit bottoms!" @ChristineQuotes— Ex (@lyssa_ex) March 8, 2013
There are weeks when you simply don't have or want to make time to do your laundry.
12. When You Realize You've Been Using That Mysterious Bathroom Contraption Incorrectly
MATTHEW: What was my nose hair trimmer doing in your bathroom? CHRISTINE: ...Oh, that's for your nose? [5.08]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) April 2, 2013
Living with other people isn't always a walk in the park. You never know what kind of grooming habits — or contraptions — your roommate might have.
13. When You're Trying To Keep It Together
Even if you're not feeling OK at the moment, it can be helpful to talk yourself out of the tail spin you're about to go into.
14. When You're Trying To Better Yourself Even Though No One Appreciates It
CHRISTINE: I want to sign up early for the spring carnival. MRS BELT: It's in 2 days. CHRISTINE: This is early for me. [1.13]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) June 15, 2013
Not all of us are gifted planners.
15. When You're Blissfully Unaware That Someone's Calling You Out
RICHARD: You're ruining a man's life. CHRISTINE: And that doesn't even make me happy. [2.15]— Old Christine Quotes (@ChristineQuotes) July 14, 2013
While you may be trying to make someone see a situation from your perspective, they're always going to see it from theirs. And, at least in the case of Christine, sometimes theirs is hilarious.
16. When You Research TV Quotes To Help Other People
If you're willing to let TV characters spread knowledge to you while telling you jokes, great. But if you just want to enjoy it for the playful entertainment it is, that works, too.
There's all the proof you need to show that Old Christine quotes never get old.