About twenty years ago I saw the movie Jungle 2 Jungle in theaters. The Tim Allen movie came out in 1997 and I can honestly say I didn't see it again after that first viewing. There was a lot I completely forgot about in Jungle 2 Jungle and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Of the Tim Allen repertoire, it's definitely not the most memorable. And yet there's something to be said for cheesy '90s movies that really, really date themselves. How else would we appreciate the diggity-dope movies we have now, if we weren't faced with some of the more interesting choices from the past?
For those of you who need a refresher (and you just might if you also haven't seen this movie for twenty years) allow me to give you a brief summary. The film follows Michael Cromwell, an stressed out commodities broker who's engaged to a constantly photographed fashionista. In order to marry his fiancée he must travel to Canaima National Park in Venezuela to obtain a divorce from his ex-wife, Patricia, who lives in a tribe on the river. When he gets there, he finds out that he and Patricia share a teenage son named Mimi-Siku. After he unwittingly agrees to take Mimi to New York City, all sorts of whacky hijinks ensue.
Many of these hijinks you may have forgotten, so I strolled down memory lane and gave J2J a good old-fashioned rewatch. Enjoy!
1Martin Short Is In This Movie
I swear! It's in the credits. Whodathunk. He plays Richard Kempster, Cromwell's super-stressed colleague with a penchant for expensive exotic fish. It's crazy.
2The Stock Market Is A Jungle
In the opening of the film we see Cromwell's place of work and learn that though he might not live in the outside jungle, he lives in a metaphorical one. While Cromwell and partner Kempster battle all the other stock guys, jungle-y music plays and chaos ensues. It's almost like it's a jungle full of wild animals. Deep stuff.
3Michael Cromwell Works In The World Trade Center
As always when watching a movie from before 2001, it's pretty weird to see the World Trade Center, but at the same time, it's kind of nice.
4The Movie Is Based On a French Film
Credits coming in for the clutch, yet again. Apparently J2J is based on Un Indien Dans La Ville, which seems like pretty much the same thing as the American version but set in Paris instead.
5Why Is Michael Cromwell Wearing A Suit To The Amazon?
Like seriously, who does that?
6The Baby Pig That Patricia Midwifes Is Terrifying
Who knew pigs could be so scary looking? This terrifying baby pig is made even more off-putting due to Michael's comment: "As much as I'd like to stick around for the circumcision, I've got a canoe waiting." Referencing the circumcision of a pig just seems wrong. Right?
7There's A Lot Of References (For The Adults)
From Cromwell's exclaimation of "Holy Kaopectate" (a diarrhea medication) in lieu of munching on Amazonian delicacies to a guy in Cromwell's office screaming, "He's doing a Fay Wray!" (King Kong actor) when Mimi climbs out the window of a skyscraper, there's tons of stuff for the grownups to grab on to.
8Mimi-Siku Means "Cat Piss"
He named himself. He. Named. Himself.
9Tim Allen Sleeps With His Shoes On
I don't care if you're sleeping in a hammock outside, take your shoes off. Keeping them on can't be good for your feet, even if they did cost $500.
10The Box Mimi Keeps His Spider In Is Garbage
Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, maybe put your hairy monstrosity in a box that actually latches so it won't keep sneaking out and terrifying everyone.
11Wait, Jonathan Taylor Thomas *Isn't* In This Movie?
It took me halfway through J2J to figure out that Mimi was not in fact Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I swear I remember J.T.T. being in this movie. Guys, I think this is one of those Shazaam/Kazaam moments.
12Tim Allen In A Loincloth
You probably blocked it out, but here the visual is again, for your viewing pleasure. You're welcome (?)
13Mimi Takes A Long Time To Change Out Of His Clothes
I am honestly not sure if you're actually allowed to be on an airplane flying to New York City in only a loincloth. There's got to be a shoes and shirts policy, right?
14Sleeping In A Hammock Looks Awesome
Why does anyone ever sleep in bed? Hammock life looks so much more fun.
15The Song "Shaking The Tree"
Oh, what? Is that Peter Gabriel crooning with a bizarre jungle remix? Yes. Yes it is.
16It's So Easy To Climb Out The Statue Of Liberty Window
You'd really think the National Parks Service would not let that be such an easy feat.
17The Epic Central Park Dance Party
Nothing puts the fun in an estranged-father-son-bonding in the big city quite like the most diverse dance party Central Park has ever seen.
18The Russian Mob Is Involved
I think that as a child, I might not have picked up on the fact that the caviar dealer with a lot of cash was apart of the Russian mob, even though Cromwell explicitly freaks out on his business partner for attempting to get financially involved with the intimidating Alex Jovanovic. Huh.
19Michael Cromwell Has Terrible Aim
He never seems to learn from his mistakes and continues to use his blowpipe, misfiring time and time again. He finally gets a fly in the jungle of the stock market, but also manages to knock out his boss. Put the blowpipe down, Michael.
20The Moment Mimi And Karen Share Is So Sweet
Mimi falls for Richard Kempster's daughter, and their adolescent smooch lakeside is all kinds of adorable.
21Someone's Always Holding A Monkey
Mimi and his mama always seem to have a monkey in their mitts, just real casual. It's almost endearing.