One of the best parts of the '90s was being able to attend one of the Olsen twin's parties... you know, via VHS. Without question, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's You're Invited franchise kept all of us wildly entertained and singing about the gloriousness of sand. If it was up to Mary-Kate and Ashley, you'd R.S.V.P. — and you did. You did every time. But in the age of lazy Facebook e-vites, did you ever really learn how to throw a bash as baller as the twins? I've rounded up the best party tips from the Olsens.
Mary-Kate and Ashley were always changing it up when it came to their iconic shindigs. They somehow managed to always have very different theme parties, as well as a varying group of friends in attendance (none of which would ever last more than one party). I find this all retrospectively suspect. Nevertheless, you and I never got our own iconic 10-episode series about party-planning, so I'm inclined to look back and see just how the twins were always able to make it a song-filled, dog-filled time.
So, get ready for some hot tips from your favorite tween twins. Here is all the sound and solid advice harvested from watching Mary-Kate and Ashley's You're Invited videos.
1Eat Frosting From Your Hands
Like, just off the palm. Very sanitary.
2Plan Your Birthday Party The Day Of
Be sure to set enough time to craft a gorgeous gourmet-looking concoction, but don't even think about party ideas until you're inviting your guests (last minute, of course).
3Switch Party-Planning Duties On A Year-To-Year Basis
That way you can stress yourself out by organizing everything months in advance one year, and then stress yourself out when your twin drops the ball and you have to organize everything on the day of the next year.
4All Important Decisions Can & Should Be Made Via Rock, Paper, Scissors
And all theme ideas should be decided via the yellow pages, Google be damned.
5Bring A Scary Grandma Mask So Everyone Can Feel The Crushing Weight Of Mortality
"Happy 30th, Madison, you'll be dead someday soon!"
6Make Sure To Have Boys Around To Help With The Piñatas
And, of course, give them a generous cut of the candy proceeds.
7If You Run Out Of Ideas, Don't Worry, Your Dog Will Gift You Six Flag Tickets
And then your party just blossoms into a fun Six Flags commercial.
8Know Your To-Do List Backward, Forward, & Upside-Down
Then recite it upside-down to make a point.
9Also, Selectively Announce Three Random Friends-Of-The-Episode To Invite
Like, just pick them out of a hat if you have to.
10And Make Sure Someone Has The Hats Ready
Like this girl.
11Make Sure Someone Brings The Dog Pictures
I guess in the age of memes and smartphones, this doesn't actually sound incredulous, but I just want to take a moment that Brighton brought a framed portrait of her pet to this slumber party.
12Make Sure To Paint Scary Faces To Tell Scary Stories
Like this... horrifying Tina-Turner-meets-Spider-Man visage.
13Brick Phones Are The Best Way To Order Food
Oh, and maybe you can look up something cool in the yellow pages.
14Want to Creatively Ruin Your Pizza? Add Tacos, Lo Mein, & Buffalo Wings
Really get disgusting with your food.
15Literally Sing About It, & Also Literally Every Little Element Of The Party-Planning
16Try To Utilize Your Time-Traveling Abilities When Picking A Theme For Your Costume Parties
In Costume Party, they have the ability to go into the future and see what kind of party they're going to throw. Obviously. Obviously.
17It's Important To Pick Something "Social" (That Means "With Boys Invited & Fun")
And somehow cowgirl outfits are involved, but I don't know the specifics of why and how.
18If You Need Something Last Minute For A Costume Party, Sort Through Mom's Stuff
This is incredibly convenient, if your mother had the same body as a 10-year-old through at least three decades.
19Never Do A Homework Party
This is like a running joke in the series. They never go for the homework party, which is crazy 'cause it sounds so much more fun than Six Flags.
20While Partying, Look For Tell-Tale Signs That A Guy Is Into You
Like this right here.
21Have An Older Cousin On Call, In Case You're Bored Run Out Of Party Ideas
It helps if she's tremendously neglectful, and will just let you and your two friends roam around the Mall of America for your... mall party...
22Find A Time To Roast Some Fish & Talk About How Much You Like Boys
OK, but for real — why can't the girl on the left just roast a goddamn marshmallow like the rest of them?
23Document All Of Your Shenanigans, Even If One Of Your Friends Forgot Her Toe Ring
The toe ring will not detrimentally impact the spontaneous fashion show you're putting on.
24And Of Course, Be Sure To Take A Submarine If You're Planning A Hawaiian Beach Party
It's the only way to do it. You can't just get some plastic coconut cups at Dollar Tree like the peasants.